Dear TT,

The testing center can't turn away people with actual tattoos so it shouldn't be a problem! If they say anything about it (which I doubt they will), I'd just respond with, "Oh, so any tattoos I had before I came to BYU automatically prevent me from ever entering the Testing Center?" That should make them rethink their position. (Or, ya know, be boring and tell them straight up it's henna and will disappear in a few days. But I've had a roommate with bright pink hair take tests in the Testing Center, so they better not turn you away.)

-guppy of doom

Dear Fist,

(source)

Love,

Luciana

Dear friend,

I have no children and have never been in this situation, so take my advice for what it's worth. 

I think it's normal for our bodies to be different and react to things differently. While it may not be common (I had no idea this could happen before), after learning this I think it shows another fascinating thing that our bodies can do. In your shoes I would tell your husband in the same way you told us. (minnow just said if he was in your husband's shoes it might get him excited to know he has an eager wife waiting for him after work so...that's a possibility.) 

I also have a bit of a soapbox when it comes to masturbation in marriage. If you are married and want to release sexual tension but your spouse is not around/is not willing at the moment, PLEASE MASTURBATE. (Wow it feels weird to type that on a somewhat BYU affiliated website.) Talk to your spouse first and make sure you're on the same page about this, but seriously this is so much a better option than feeling letdown all the time (which could built resentment against your spouse) or forcing yourself on your unwilling spouse (which is thankfully not your situation but it is the case for a number of couples and it needs to stop). There's even a professor at BYU who teaches SFL 376 who teaches that it's okay for couples to masturbate as long as it's relationship focused. In some sex and marriage books by LDS authors, such as And They Were Not Ashamed, they actually encourage some form of self-exploration or masturbation after marriage. Obviously this is your (and your spouse's) decision, but that's my opinion on the matter.

I'm sorry you've felt so alone about this, but hopefully simply sharing this with us (and perhaps your husband if you so choose) has helped!

-guppy of doom

Dear you,

When I hit puberty and felt my first twinges of sexual desire, I had no idea what was going on with my body or what it meant (my knowledge of sex was extremely limited). The only description I could come up with was that I wanted to breastfeed a baby, and it was like I could feel that craving in my breasts. I know that's a slightly different situation, but you definitely aren't alone. Nipple stimulation can be very arousing, even in a less-than-erotic context.

If I were in your place, I would tell my husband. Sexuality can be difficult to talk about, even within a marriage, but you should be able to confide in him about what turns you on. It might be beneficial to your sex life and he might be able to adjust his schedule to better accommodate your desires. If you approach it delicately, and explain the situation with the nuance you did in your question here, I'm sure your husband will understand. I also agree with guppy of doom that if you and your husband talk about it and are on the same page, you shouldn't feel guilty about masturbating.

-a writer

Dear DJ,

WHO KEEPS LETTING THIS MAN MAKE MOVIES?? I'm not sure he's ever been in a movie I would call good.

Love,

Luciana

Dear Rocky, 

Yeah and it smells really freaking good. He always makes enough to share, but he's never offered me any, which is really rude. 

Cheers, 

Guesthouse

Dear X-files, 

It's no surprise to any reader that I really really do not like Donald Trump, and it would be substantially easier for me to list all of the reasons I think he's unfit to lead our country. But, I do think it's fair to acknowledge when a person does something good. So here are the things I think Donny T has done right - though I can't promise there aren't some bits of sarcasm in here...

1) He has signed legislation aimed at supporting women's educational and economic empowerment opportunities in foreign countries. (see here and here) (They're Ivanka's projects, but he is setting aside money for them)

2) He has a lot of women in his Cabinet as his top advisers, which I respect. He may say some really degrading things, and I certainly cannot label him a feminist... but he does employ a solid number of women, which is obviously a good thing. 

3) While his approach to diplomacy is very confusing, he hasn't given Kim Jon Un any space or budged on sanctions against North Korea. And honestly, that helps. The threat of nuclear war can be a very scary thing, and he hasn't wavered about America's stance on North Korea's actions. That stability is good. 

4) Voter turnout has hit a really high point, which is vital to the functioning of democracy. I think his often extreme points of view have led people to take stands on important issues that otherwise would have claimed apathy instead - on all sides of the fence. Granted, polarization leads to exhausting debates that often feel like they're going nowhere. BUT! More people are voting, and that's important. 

5) Contrary to impressions given by his Twitter account, he has generally been continuing the trend of disengagement in foreign countries. Less foreign involvement and greater diplomacy is something I can get behind. (Throwing insults at every person who disagrees with you, not so much. But hey, pobody's nerfect!)

Cheers, 

Guesthouse

Dear chipper,

Here.

(Sure it may not be in Provo, but that two day shipping may get it quicker to you than your roommate who promised she'd go shopping with you tomorrow but then a date came up and she just couldn't say no because you should have seen his eyes and you end up glaring at her from the hall as she giggles inanely at something her date said that he thought was funny but really he stole from that popular tweet you saw the other day and you just want that sweet, sweet taste of Kettle Korean BBQ flavored chips. If only you didn't live in Provo.)

-guppy of doom

But like seriously if anyone knows please leave a correction.

Dear Chippy,

I haven't had time to check like I really wanted to (sorrrryyyy), but some of the Asian/Oriental food markets around Provo/Orem might have them, or something like them. If I get out to one soon I'll leave a correction. 

Cheers, 

Guesthouse

P.S. Guppy, does this make me the giggly unreliable roommate? Oh no!

Dear Pod,

A lot of buildings have group study rooms you can reserve. I can't speak for all the buildings, but the engineering building has some nice ones, and they are particularly vacant during the summer.

Peace,

Tipperary

Dear 042,

Most classes on campus are empty around 5-6 pm (and during the summer they empty out much sooner). I would just find a random classroom and hang out. Oftentimes the janitors would find me and just ask me to turn off the lights when I leave. While most buildings lock at a certain time you can stay much later, just make sure you don't leave anything in there. For instance, my hangout is the SWKT and while that locks around 10-11 pm I've been in there until 1 am.

-guppy of doom