Dear Volleyball Fan,

1. I googled high and low and didn't see anything about him being divorced

2. I couldn't find any pictures of his tattoo so I couldn't tell you.

3. I was able to find pictures of Felipe's tattoo, and it appears to be some sort of tropical fern. According to Alta it is most likely a cinnamon fern, or a Japanese painted fern.

One for three isn't too bad right? Sorry I couldn't find more info. Hope this helps,

Peace,

Tipperary

Dear you,

I have guy friends who are married and they are some of my favorite kinds of friendships. It's all the perks of being friends with men without having to worry about the dating stuff. It's possible that the only reason those girls feel they can act so encouragingly is that you are married and they don't have to worry about leading you on. If you were single they would maybe never act like that because it would send a very different message. That being said, I do notice myself being careful about certain things in my friendships with married men. I'm going to define that care in a few rules. Honestly, I have never had to use them or even define them like I'm about to. No one has ever gotten close to being a concern in these areas. 

1.) It is not appropriate for a friend to complain about his wife or marital relations to me. Actually, if he were bringing up deep issues about his life at all I would have to be sure he is also discussing them with his wife. 

2.) All event invitations are equally and emphatically extended to both the friend and his wife.

3.) If my friendship is more than casual work/school association, I make an effort to have an independent friendship with the wife. 

4.) If the wife seems uncomfortable with the friendship at any point I try to address it openly. If it can't be resolved I will totally disengage. Even if that means zero contact.

Basically I just operate knowing that their relationship is the most important thing in the equation and that it's also none of my business. I expect them to operate under the same knowledge. If it ever seems like that is not the case I will disengage. 

Marriages are the most most important but they don't have to be the end of all other friendships with the opposite sex.

Babalugats

Dear You,

Live your life. I'm an outgoing person, and I guess maybe some people could think I'm being flirtatious, and I don't want to be seen as being unfaithful to my husband or whatever, but at the same time, I am not trying to flirt AT ALL. I don't think it's my problem if someone thinks I'm flirting if all I'm doing is talking to someone, and they clearly know that I'm married and love my husband very much.

The thing is, there are so many different ways to flirt that no matter what you do, someone could think you're doing it flirtatiously. Do you strike up conversations with people? Do you laugh and joke a lot? Are you really awkward and never initiate contact? Basically any type of social interaction you can think of, I guarantee you someone has probably tried to flirt that way. That's why context matters, and if part of the context is that one or both of you is married, probably normal friendly interactions aren't very suspect. I don't think it happens all that often that people actively try to flirt with married people, and if they did, you would probably get some sort of weird vibe, not just, "This is a person being a normal friendly person."

Obviously there are some real boundaries that shouldn't be crossed, and if your spouse, or the spouse of one of your friends, is ever uncomfortable with your behavior you should step down, but for the most part, just be a normal human. You don't have to stop enjoying your friendships with people just because you're married.

-Alta

Dear Goer,

Sorry for the delay in an answer; someone thought they had a contact they could ask, but it didn't end up working out. I looked around, but I wasn't able to find anything definitive. My guess would be that as director of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Mack Wilberg chooses all the music. His bio on the Choir's homepage says that he's "responsible for all musical and creative aspects of the Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square in rehearsals, concerts, tours, and recordings, as well as the weekly broadcast of Music and the Spoken Word." Nothing on their page specifically mentions General Conference, but I would assume if he's the one in charge of all their music for literally everything else they do, he's also in charge of their music for General Conference. 

If any of the readers have a more authoritative source for who chooses the music, please leave a correction!

-Alta

Dear person,

Don't eat it.

Oh wait, you have already eaten it (at first, I thought you were just contemplating eating it). Drink lots of water. That always helps me get better faster when I get sick. Also, if you do start vomiting, it won't be as bad if you are hydrated.

-Sheebs, who hopes you feel better by the time this posts in 99 hours

Dear you,

I have a bottle of licorice pills I keep around for whenever I have an upset stomach. They work wonders, and are awesome for when I feel like throwing up. Barring those, I always keep mints close, because mint is also good (though not as good) for calming your stomach, and abating related side effects like nausea. 

~Anathema

Dear MNH,

If you ate something that you truly think will make you terribly sick, you can throw it up. NOTE: I am not suggesting throwing up as a solution to eating any food that you later regret eating. This is more of a last-ditch effort to avoid terrible illness if you ate uncooked pork or something similarly risky in terms of transmitting serious illness/parasites.

-Alta

Dear Aziraphale,

Who am I now
When all the things I once knew have started to bow
Like a ship without a prow

I must admit to feeling quite lost
As though this existence has started exacting its cost...

I believe I must go
Though why I don't precisely know
Nevertheless, thus it shall be so

Goodbye my dear friends
May you find better ends

Than this, the fate of the Board

~Anathema

Dear person,

Okay. Bye forever.

-Sheebs

Dear Sentient Board,

Some said the Board would end in fire,
Some said in ice.
From what I’d tasted of desire
I held with those who favored fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I thought I knew enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Was also great
And would have sufficed.
But turns out it was just an arbitrary date set by The Right Reverend Rusky Roo.

---

It's been real,

-Frère Rubik

Dear Maybe You Should Sit Down,

I hate to break it to you but it's the end of the world as we know it.

This it it. This is the end. Hold your breath and count to ten.

Now it's time for so long. But we'll sing just one more song.

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night. I hate to go and leave the board behind!

Dear you,

We had a wonderful run, didn't we? But even the greatest things must come to an end. Do not cry, my friends. Be like a guppy. Choose to forget. Because then you will never stay sad. Choose to crave peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, to swim all day, to develop a five second memory, to love humuhumunuku... humuhumunuku... humu...

Wait. What am I doing? What is this? I need to go...do something. What was I doing?

Um. What was my name?

Dear BQ,

Well, I wasn't planning on retiring yet, but I guess it's the right thing to do at this point. It's been real, friends.

-Alta

Dear you,

Alas, it appears the Board is coming to an end.

See you later, trash cans.

Love,

Luciana

Dear reader, 

Right now, you probably think we're joking.

Ha.

-Sunday Night Banter

Dear Danny,

May I interest you in this Ensign article? In general it describes how we can be in the world, needing to make money to support ourselves and our families, but not of the world, trying to make money at all costs out of greed. That deals with some of the larger questions you've brought up, but it also specifically mentions the morality of a church member selling coffee at a store or restaurant. The conclusion?

Can an A-level grocer, for example, sell coffee and tea to those customers who know nothing of the Word of Wisdom and for whom it would not be a sin? The grocer might do so at the request of his customers to meet their demands when he clearly would never produce coffee himself. His involvement is indirect.

...

Some products and services may be detrimental to the individual while others damage the community. Coffee and tea, for example, would be products that have individual consequences. Alcohol and pornography, however, have proven to also have negative community consequences. “Pornography damages individual lives, families, and society. … Church members should … oppose its production, dissemination, and use.”

Now, a couple of other points:

• The Polynesian Cultural Center is a business, and it should be run like a business, by which I mean it should seek to be profitable. If those in charge of the PCC didn't try to make it profitable, it would ultimately need a lot of tithing funds to keep it running, money which could be used for other purposes like missionary or temple work.
• The article talks about how the Golden Rule should be used as an overarching principle when we conduct our business. We typically think of the Golden Rule as being "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," but there's another way to think of it: "Treat others as they would want to be treated." It's a subtle shift, but an important one: the latter approach puts the focus less on the person serving ("How do I want to be treated?") and more on the person being served ("How do they want to be treated?"). With this in mind, it's very hospitable for a business (such as the PCC, or, I don't know, Marriott Hotels?) to serve coffee to people who want it. It's not okay to serve alcohol or other similar substances because, again, they have far-reaching effects beyond the individual consuming them, but coffee is okay.

Hopefully that gives a little bit of insight. Keep reading the other responses by Sheebs, Anne, Certainly, and Babalugats for more good points!

-Frère Rubik

Dear person,

It is culturally normal for people who smoke cigarettes to buy them in gas stations, convenience stores, or grocery stores and smoke them at other locations. They are not usually sold in theme parks. Similarly, alcohol is not served at most theme parks or museums (who would want a bunch of drunk people bumbling around?). Tea and coffee, however, are frequently served in theme parks and museums. The common thread across these observations is that the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC) is conforming to what is customary.

By having designated smoking areas, not serving alcohol, and serving tea and coffee, the PCC is accommodating what visitors expect. That way people won't have an unexpected experience ("Wait, there's no coffee? That is weird...") or feel judged for their behavior (people who smoke often have shame about their habit, not having a place for them would be uncomfortable).

The situation kind of reminds me of Acts 10. While it's not exactly the same situation, Peter does struggle with the idea of partaking of "unclean" food even when God is fine with it. In verse 28, I believe we read the principle of the story: 

Ye know how that it is an unlawful thing for a man that is a Jew to keep company, or come unto one of another nation; but God hath shewed me that I should not call any man common or unclean.

I think that by serving tea and coffee at the PCC, the church is simply trying to be gracious as they "keep company", so to speak. 

It is my opinion that sometimes in Sunday School manuals, the lessons make it sound like God is very rigid and cares about people keeping the rules above all else. I am of the opinion that these messages tend to be hyperbolic. This is a pet peeve of mine because real life is actually fraught with moral dilemmas that can be difficult to navigate (indeed, a moral dilemma is the setting of the creation story!). Though my situation, like Peter's, is a bit different from the PCC, I don't feel guilty when I eat food that my mother buys at the grocery store on a Sunday or when I help her find her cigarettes when she loses them in her car. I do this because I feel it is more important to be cordial and hospitable than it is to avoid the appearance of condoning evil. And I think God is fine with it.

I hope this helps. I'm sorry you are having such a tough time with this. 

-Sheebs

Dear you,

I'm not going to try to address the "why the Church does this specific thing" part of your question, so I'll come at it a little bit sideways.

While you and I may not have the authority or responsibility of making decisions on behalf of the Church (except within the limits of whatever stewardships we hold like in an auxiliary, ward, class, etc.) we absolutely have the right and responsibility to have God confirm to us whether or not the Church is His organization and whether it is one that He endorses. 

I think this is really important, because the Church is a huge organization full of a ton of people with almost 200 years of history: that means there are a lot of decisions that have taken place and will continue to take place and there are good odds that we'll occasionally run into one that we look at and think "...really? That's not the way I would have thought God would want it."

In these situations there are a few possibilities: 1) It is the way God wants it, and as imperfect humans lacking in knowledge or understanding, we just don't get the "why" yet, or 2) In some situations it may not be the way God wants it, but the Church is being administered by imperfect people who don't always get everything right.

Sometimes people disagree on which of the above situations exists. The distinction is important because it may dictate what the appropriate response for us it (for example, if we don't understand why we need to forgive others but know that that is a doctrine from God, we can pray and study to gain knowledge and testimony. By contrast, if it comes out that our ward primary president isn't following a required two-deep leadership policy, we could bring our concerns to the bishop so that he could ensure the appropriate corrections took place.) However, it is really good that even if we're not sure which situation above we're in we don't have to be to receive confirmation from God about the truthfulness of the Church and that He wants us to be in it. 

So, it sounds like you're in the position where you think that the PCC coffee/tea serving is something that's actually being done wrong, while many others believe that it's being done correctly. While it's good to seek a deeper understanding of the Church and of the Gospel, my point here is that you have the right to ask God whether this Church is where He wants you and whether it's His before you understand this issue, and He can answer you even if He doesn't immediately give you understanding on this issue. As this New Era article points out, He can answer you in many ways, including with gradual bits of knowledge and testimony. For example, you can receive continued blessings from following the commandments that you keep, which you're taught in the scriptures and by the modern Prophets. You can feel the Spirit during a testimony meeting. You can find peace attending the temple or walking its grounds. 

It's okay to have questions. It's okay to not understand why certain things are the way they are. It's good that you care about following the commandments. I'm confident that God cares that His children are seeking to keep the commandments and want to do their part to help ensure that the Church is perfected. And because He loves us and wants to help us, we can always pray to have confirmation about the Gospel and the Church, even as we continue to learn more about the things we don't understand or as we strive to do our part to build up the Kingdom.

Love,

~Anne, Certainly

(P.S. I guess I'll make one comment on the actual issue, related to Frere Rubik's comments above. I was talking to a friend about your question and he pointed out that some things in the word of wisdom are bad of themselves (or what you might call malum in se at law (a simple example: murder)) while others are bad because they've been prohibited (or what you might call malum prohibitum at law (a simple example: there's nothing inherently virtuous about crossing a street while walking on white lines, but we may decide to have laws about crossing at crosswalks)). While doing mind-altering drugs is probably malum in se, other parts of the word of wisdom (such as wine of a similar alcohol content to that which Christ would have drunk) may well be malum prohibitum). Such things that are merely prohibited, in his mind, serve to distinguish the Church as "peculiar." Rating Pending addressed this point in his answer to the original question and also pointed out the relevance of covenants, which members have made and non-members have not.)

Danny,

The best way I've been able to understand nuanced commandments goes like this:

The Spirit will never prompt you to contradict God's commandments. But he will give you guidance on how to prioritize them in a given situation. 

I know it sounds terrible but hear me out. Earth life is hard because we have a lot of commandments to keep with limited resources. Some commandments become paralyzingly difficult to keep perfectly at the same time. An example could be providing for your family financially AND spending time with them. At different times and amounts, one of those commandments must take precedence over the other. If you are working too much, the spirit will tell you to take some financial hits to spend more time with your kids. Not contradiction. Prioritization. 

The economic problem is more than just skipping dessert. There are plenty of reports of people who skipped the PCC entirely because they couldn't have ice tea or coffee. If the purpose of the Polynesian Cultural Center is to promote an understanding of culture, allow for missionary opportunities, and provide economic opportunities to Polynesian people, they first must operate as a successful business that is welcoming to guests. In order for the PCC to bless people the people have to be willing to come. 

An example of this prioritization I speak of: a member of the church helps Native American tribes get legal approval to build casinos. Is he going against the commandments? You could make that argument, sure. Maybe you'd be right. But you'd have to ignore the fact that these gaming centers are a huge part of the economic development of certain tribal communities. And if you think he's just trying to make a good dollar, you'd also have to ignore the fact that he has often gone unpaid for his work. He really just wants these people to have a better quality of life and this is the best he can help with his skill set. Is he being inconsistent with his beliefs? Or prioritizing the commandment to love and serve God's children? 

I think the PCC has an inspired purpose and the brethren knew that it could not serve that purpose effectively while being economically stunted and culturally narrow. I understand that nuances are hard. Especially when we are taught that keeping the commandments is do or die, right or wrong etc etc. I hope you find your answers that work for you. If you don't—I hope you keep asking. These are good questions and it matters to God that you have them. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for questioning. Stay humble. Stay sharp. Stay willing. 

Babalugats

Dear Thinkin' Time,

[Note: If you don't know what we're talking about, take a brief pit stop here first.]

Part 1: Albi is living happily in his cottage cheese cottage when one day he runs out of cinnamon for his morning oatmeal. Resignedly, he sings a grumpy song as he treks through the Marmalade forest, since buying more cinnamon will require him to visit the spice store, which is run by Albanians. 

Part 2: Albi arrives in town, which is in the middle of its yearly Bubble Gum festival. Albi makes it to the spice store and orders his cinnamon, but slowly he becomes aware of the townspeople pointing and laughing behind his back. Flustered, he leaves the store without picking up his spice.

Part 3: Halfway back to his cottage, Albi realizes he has forgotten his cinnamon. He is conflicted about going back for it, as he doesn't want to draw the scorn of the village people. He sings a song to the make-believe trees about how the village people don't like him because he lives in a cottage cheese cottage instead of the Cold and Scary Cave. The make-believe trees do not sing a song back to him, because they do not exist. Wearily, he ultimately decides to head back to the village, as his oatmeal is one of the only things that makes him feel warm inside.

Part 4: Back at the spice store, the Albanian boy finds Albi's bag of cinnamon. He shows it to his father and says they should return it to the dragon, since he already has paid for it in full. His father, knowing about Albi's racism and also wanting to fit in with the rest of the village, warns his son against doing so, grumpily singing a song about how they should fit in. He then sends his son to deliver a bubblegum pie to someone down the street. As the Albanian boy leaves, he secretly grabs Albi's bag of cinnamon to give back to him.

Part 5: As Albi returns to the village, he runs into the Albanian boy from the spice shop. The boy attempts to give Albi his cinnamon, but with the other villagers looking, Albi angrily denies having bought anything from the Albanians. He accidentally knocks the bag to the ground, and cinnamon flies up into the air, making Albi sneeze dragon flames, which appear to kill the Albanian boy. The rest of the villagers turn on Albi, driving him out of the village with rocks. He flees to the solace of the Cold and Scary Cave to lament his fate.

And I believe you know the rest.

-Frère Rubik