"I'm not a chicken. I'm just really hesitant." -Frasier Crane

Hey you! We've got some big news! For the full rundown, check out Board Question #90641, but the short version is that we're changing our URL! As of Monday, November 13th, the 100 Hour Board you know and love will now be found at 100hourboard.org. Be sure to update your bookmarks so you don't miss a thing!

Sunday, December 10, 2017
Question #90729 posted on 12/10/2017 1:12 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My favorite spot to study is on the fourth floor of the JFSB. Whenever I'm here at an hour, the bell tower goes off, which I love. It's one of my favorite things.

However, since starting studying here, I have heard another bell that just chimes the hour (not "Come, Come, Ye Saints" at the beginning), but it's just out of tune enough with the bell tower, making it very noticeable and slightly annoying. (Though only very slightly.) My question is, where is this other bell? I'm not suggesting we go put it in tune with the bell tower; I just want to know where it is, since I've never heard it in all my time on campus.

-Really Good Relative Pitch

A:

Dear you,

A unique feature of carillon bells is that they have a strong minor third overtone, following the old Dutch tradition. All instruments have overtones, but usually they're much more spread out, with the first third being two octaves up and major. Not so with these bells. It's what gives the bell tower it's complex, rich, and slightly muddy sound.

My guess is that you're hearing the overtone—a different note coming from the same bell. It's present on all the bells, but it's most obvious on the low C for the hour strike.

My recommendation: Enjoy it. Drink it in. No other instrument is so bold as to constantly play in parallel minor thirds. It's what makes the carillon unique, and in my opinion, absolutely beautiful.

-Kirito


0 Corrections
Posted on 12/10/2017 12:32 p.m. New Correction on: #90718 1. In your own opinion/experience, is it ever okay to talk to an ex about the ...
Saturday, December 9, 2017
Question #90722 posted on 12/09/2017 3:56 p.m.
Q:

Hey wonderful writers of the Board!
So, here’s the situation: a friend and I both like to play piano, and we like to hang out and play duets. However, a lot of really fun duets require two pianos, one for each person, and as BYU students we’re struggling to find a place with two pianos in close enough proximity to each other to practice duets. So far, the only thing I’ve thought of is trying to use two neighboring HFAC piano practice rooms without closing the doors . . . but I feel like that might get us in trouble with the HFAC Powers That Be (or just with people walking around in the HFAC who would be annoyed by hearing us). Any suggestions? Thanks!!! :)
-Ina

A:

Dear Ina,

My first thought was to find two close classrooms with pianos in each one and roll one piano into the other room. I doubt you'd get in trouble for that if you explain what you're doing and your plan to move the piano back once you're done. And if they protest, give them the task of finding you a place with two pianos to practice.

In my last ward the Relief Society piano wasn't working (the pedals were broken), so we kept switching our piano with the Elder's Quorum piano. I say "kept" because they kept switching it back. We got pretty dang good at maneuvering a piano through the halls of the LSB.

Note: only do this in classrooms with no stairs or only a slight incline. No pianos should be harmed in the making of your duet.

-guppy of doom

A:

Dear Ina,

If I was in your situation, I'd wander around the Wilk on a late Sunday afternoon. I'm pretty sure there's two pianos in the west ballroom in the Wilk. I think there's two pianos in the Terrace as well.

Good luck!

-Kirito


0 Corrections
Question #90721 posted on 12/09/2017 3:56 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Who would win: Chuck Norris or One Punch Man?

-1..2..3...FIGHT!

A:

Dear you,

I have to go with One Punch Man on this one.

100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and 10 km running EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!

-Kirito


0 Corrections
Question #90725 posted on 12/09/2017 2:44 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is your favorite file format?

-The Force Awakens

A:

Dear you,

I use lots of .docx, .xlsx, and .pdf, but I's say my favorite file format is .apk. Too often, a new update to an app I use brings new features, and I'm just not patient enough to wait for it to roll out via the Play Store.

-The Entomophagist

A:

Dear Ferdinand,

I like .wav files, mainly because it makes me feel cool to write sound.

I suppose that isn't actually a file format, but when else am I going to get the chance to tell the world my favorite kind of file? Because clearly that's important information to get out there.

~Anathema

A:

Dear friend,

PDFs. They just are. Fight me.

-Van Goff

A:

Dear Rey,

I don't much care what the file format is as long as the encoding is UTF-8.

-Spectre

A:

Dear you,

FLAC. Lossless audio is the best!

-Kirito

A:

Dear Annakin,

I was going to say .doc, just because it's the one I use most, but I feel like compared with the other writers that's way too mundane, and admitting to it may disqualify me from being a writer or something.

-Alta

A:

Dear clone,

.py

--Django Fett

A:

Dear TR8R,

PNG's are my jam. Transparency for life, yo!

-Frère Rubik


0 Corrections
Question #90610 posted on 12/09/2017 11:38 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,
I need help and I don't know who to talk to about it. Please don't laugh at me.

Here we go:

I just got friendzoned in a very not-tactful way by a person who had been acting interested in me for a significant amount of time and I need help getting over it. Basically I got invited to do something a few days ago by person-in-question with a group of their friends and showed up to find person-in-question joined at the hip with a significant other who I'd never been told about before, who it turns out they've been dating for a while-during the time they were still acting interested in me! They both basically ignored me the entire time I was at the activity-I texted my friend and made them call me and ask me to leave so I could flee the situation as soon as possible.

I'm trying to get over it but I just keep feeling embarrassed that I was so gullible as to let myself care about a person who apparently doesn’t even care about my feelings at all, and who decided the aforementioned debacle was a good way to let me know they weren’t interested in me anymore. I had put a lot of trust in this person over the time (over a year) I've known them, and there truly didn't seem to be any red flags that would predict something like this (and believe me, I’m a pretty cautious person and I had my eyes open wide for them!). They were willing to open up to me and in return I also opened up to them a lot, something which I usually have a hard time doing, and even though it's not my fault that they betrayed my trust, I still keep feeling like I should have somehow been able to see this coming. So while I'm now fully committed to staying in my lane and letting them go after their relationship and all (and frankly it won’t be hard to stay out of this person's life, because I'm still feeling pretty stung by their behavior), I am struggling with a few things.

How can I stop feeling angry at this person? They did sort-of apologize (only for letting me know in an unkind way), which I did appreciate, I guess, but I feel like that’s not a very good or full apology and that they don't want to understand how much their actions hurt me. I’ve been praying so hard to forgive and stop being so angry but I still feel upset, and I hate feeling that way.
How do I stop feeling like there's something wrong with me? I keep trying to figure out what about me made this person decide I wasn't worth being treated with respect after all. I can recognize this as an unhealthy thought pattern and try to fight it, but I keep struggling with constant thoughts that I'm not good enough and that's why this person thought it was okay to treat me like this.

I need advice for moving on. I’d never let someone I was interested in be such a part of my life until this person, and as a result lots of random things in my day keep randomly triggering me to think about them. My brain is 100% sure that I don't want to date this person or think about them ever again, but somehow I'll see or hear something, or be somewhere on campus where we did something together, or whatever, and I'll start missing them, even though my brain knows I'm more missing the person I thought they were (someone who's open and honest about things! who wouldn't lead someone on and then drop kick them!). I hate that I accidentally let this person have so much control over my feelings-I'm just realizing now how much-and I just want to go back to how I was before. But I don't know how.

-first heartbreak (aka stupidest 'nym ever but I really need a place to talk about this without getting judged because I've always been kind of a prickly unromantic person until this person, and now I'm feeling very prickly again but also kind of squishy and sad inside and I DON'T LIKE IT)

p.s. I feel like the obvious response here is "are you sure you weren't imagining that they were interested in you earlier?" and no, I swear I'm not that vain. They initiated most of the contact in the first part of our friendship, something I didn’t really see them do for anyone else, they would continue to do nice things for me and go out of their way for me, several mutual friends told me this person was interested, and we even went on several dates, the last one only a few days before the aforementioned incident.

p.p.s. thank you guys for being willing to answer these questions, honestly. I feel like it would get frustrating getting all these kind of problems but I really appreciate having a place to ask for help from people who won't think I'm stupid for feeling sad about dumb relationship things and dumb feelings . . . like I know they're dumb and I shouldn't let them hurt me but they do hurt me and it's nice not to be judged or laughed at for caring. you guys are seriously amazing-thanks for doing what you do.

A:

Dear Heartbreak,

FIRST OF ALL LEMME 'SPLAIN YOU A THING: Your feelings are valid. It isn't dumb for you to be sad or have these feelings. And I hope to goodness no one is laughing at you in your life. It's not funny or silly or unreasonable. Missing them, being reminded, having emotional reactions to those memories is also normal and acceptable. You can be over someone and still have those feelings. They don't mean you're weak. They don't mean you're stuck. It means your life is different than it was and your brain and heart need practice living it. You also don't have to be in a captial R "Relationship" to go through the same grieving process as a breakup. If you're feeling that grief, go ahead and feel it. But do work towards picking up and moving on.

Have you ever heard of Critical Incident Stress Debriefing? It sounds dramatic but bare with me. CISD is something first-responders are trained to conduct with survivors to help them process an incident and prevent long-term trauma. I bring this up because I care about you but also because I have a strange fascination with applying various field approaches to my personal life. Like I use addiction recovery manuals to deal with procrastination. Or the scientific method to determine if my crush is into me. So, I really can't help trying to use this for even every day emotional "trauma". Some of the process is obviously not applicable but I really have found it helpful before. A few steps I think are relevant to you are as follows:

1) Ventilate and Validate: Get all your thoughts, emotions, and experiences out. Journals work great because they are low impact. Friends are great because they can provide validation of your reactions. Be careful not to do this too much for too long. You don't need to think yourself in circles. You should choose a very limited number of friends you trust. Otherwise it just gets too big and you have to update everyone and word could get back to other people and it's just the worst. 

2) Predict: Try to think about what the future will look like. What scenarios will take place, how you feel about them, what you might do etc. "I will probably see this person at ____ activity someday. I will probably feel ________." That way when things happen you don't have to feel stupid for feeling those things. Or, if you didn't accurately predict your feelings, you will be surprised and have some fun analyzing that. (One of my fave things is being like "What an interesting emotion I did not anticipate. I'm going to try to explain it with science.")

3) Review: Take a quick inventory of the incident/situation and it's emotional, cognitive, and physical impact on you. Ventilation was about how you feel. This is about what really happened, is happening, and how it is really effecting you. This is a great step because it helps you be kinder to yourself. If you can trace the impacts of the situation into your daily life you don't have to feel guilty about those impacts. (for instance: Of course you forgot your keys, you're stressed because a stressful thing is happening in your life).

4) Anchor: Anchoring is about closing down the crisis mode and getting back to your life. You define some positive outcomes from the event. You define some resources to help you cope in the future. You establish closure and decide to live as normally as you can. Closure can mean your own personal definition of what happened but it could also mean confronting the person. Living "normally" to me means you no longer go easy on yourself. Of course you still speak kindly to yourself. But here's when you decide to get your homework done, stop buying ice cream twice a week, and quit bringing it up all the time. Do not mistake my saying! You will still feel sad sometimes. Stuff may come up and you have to start over. You will still have impacts. But you are now prepared to look them in the eye and say "I see you. I accept you. But I won't be distracted by you."

I hope you feel my genuine empathy for you and anyone struggling through this phase of life. It's such a pain. But we all buckle down and do it because we believe it will be worth it. I'm right there in it too so I can't make any promises like "I felt the same thing and now I'm blissfully happy! You will be too!" but I can tell you I still believe good will happen and it will all be worth it. Keep loving, keep trying, be kind to yourself. It's okay if you're not there yet. 

Peace and blessings,

Babalugats

A:

Dear first,

It's perfectly normal to feel upset and hurt. After I went through a similar experience, I remember expressing my frustration in prayer that I was still so angry with that individual. The feeling I got in response was that it is okay to grieve and be upset. We constantly hear messages of forgiving and loving everyone, even those that hurt us, and I think that sometimes we assume that that means we have to unconditionally love them right now. I used to beat myself up for not being able to fully love this individual. But the way I see it now is forgiving others means we will not try to keep them from happiness. Do I want to stop that individual from making it to heaven? No! But do I want to spend time with him in heaven? Absolutely not! And that's okay. The main reason I believe we need to forgive others is so our lives are not hindered by our anger for others, so that we do not become bitter and withdrawn. Grieving is normal. Getting upset when you're reminded of him is normal. But as long as you aren't intentionally holding onto that anger, as long as you do want him to be happy, that anger will fade.

To move on, find things to do that don't remind you of him. Write out all your feelings, tell your friends how you feel, and then try to avoid talking or thinking about him. It helps to get those emotions out, but to continually dwell on them will just make them worse. Find others to serve. Get a new hobby. Of course, you will still run across those things in campus that will remind you of him, but if you don't allow yourself to focus on those, you'll find those feelings will lessen in time.

If I may be so blunt, there is nothing wrong with you, though there is probably something wrong with him. To feign interest in a girl while dating another girl (or, in the case of the individual I knew, feigning interest while leading on his ex-girlfriend—maybe our "friends" gave each other advice) requires a special kind of low. If you're like me, you'll keep asking yourself, "Why was I so much of an idiot? Why didn't I see those warning signs? Why did I let myself get drawn in?" Let me reassure you: YOU ARE NOT STUPID. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. Guys (and girls) like that have been tricking good, smart, wonderful women (and men) throughout history. If good, smart, wonderful people had an inborn superpower to recognize and avoid those kinds of people, we wouldn't have half the literature we do today. You are good enough.

I nearly wrote "one day you'll find a man who will show you just how incredible you are." But then I realized that that is judging your worth off of what a man thinks, which is absolutely not true, because you are incredible, regardless of what any man may think of you. 

Finally, let me assure you that things do get better. They get a lot better. It may seem hard to trust others now, and you may feel unwilling to open yourself up again, but it is always worth it. Because of this experience, you will be able to relate to and help others who go through similar experiences. I can promise you that your pain is not for nothing. It will shape who you are, give you better opportunities to serve, and will make you appreciate your friendships and future relationships so much more.

-guppy of doom


0 Corrections