"If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun." - Katharine Hepburn

About Toasteroven:

Once upon a time, there was a humble dork sophomore who used to make fun of himself and didn't talk to anybody at ward prayer/stare/scare. He sure was shy and dorky and video-game addicted and Internet-addicted.


One time, that kid was in a long and necessary line at the old eigtch bee double hockey sticks computer lab that was humongous on the second floor and down the hall and he was that weird flyer again that said "D+C 89 never mentioned this"...and he wondered what it was about. It said theboard.byu.edu.


"Oh, a message board," he thought. "To argue about stuff or laugh about junk. I love those."


Before printing, our dork looked up the website. Why, he wasn't able to post anything! It was just a posting of a really long thread! What manner of board was this?!


He looked at the about us page and learned all about it.
"Ah, I understand now," said he. He then asked a question, asked how to become a writer, and asked another question. He decided it was time for Toasteroven to be a writer. It was meant to be so. He was meant to join its ranks and dispense anything but wisdom to the masses. At this point, you should be bored. This is the fifth profile. It changes. Like me. And I'll give a dollar to the person who actually notices this for the first time and mails me at thebyutoasteroven at yahoo.com, because I want to see if anyone would actually trudge through such arrogant drivel.


And now back to our story, pontification, and ego-trip.


Our dorky writer has now come of age. Since he joined the board, he has now got glasses that are HOT, according to Bored Engineer and Eleka Nahmen, thus he is HOT, and the ladies love him when they didn't, he got a new car for himself that has a CD player and working A/C, he got to upgrade from a desktop to laptop, quit video games cold turkey (though he has relapsed occasionally or will do it socially), he has been on dates, been asked out more than once, been in a relationship, been called as Sunday school teacher for the third time, got a new roommate and next-door neighbor that are awesome, and an enlarged head and a blog complete with a couple dozen fans.


And that's why you ought to apply. Because one day, you too could have all this happen to you.




And don't ask us how, silly. You need to search the archives. To date, I'm the only one I know who asked how to become a writer then figured it out and then apologized. That is why there is a question I asked that says "Forgive me for the previous question I asked", but we don't know what it was. Well, now you do.



I promise BYUSA has not edited this profile.



Yet.



Prior profile

A history for you. April 12th, 2004 Toasteroven discovers the board. April 13th, 2004 Toasteroven asks how to become a writer. April 14th, 2004 Toasteroven wakes up and searches the archives, which says search the archives. April 16th, 2004 Toasteroven gets his first question posted. Also gets a 100-hour board app because he woke up and searched the archives. April 19th, 2004 Toasteroven turns in his application (within 100 hours, of course). April 21st, 2004 Toasteroven gets an email saying he was accepted as a writer on the board. Currently-Toasteroven writes for the board; people reading his profile hate that it says "Toasteroven" a million times because it makes that word not sound real. Therefore, YOU TOO can search the archives and be a board writer, dude(ette). Sweeet. But you may wish to actually know something about Toasteroven. Okay. Toasteroven knows the scriptures pretty well. Maybe even better than Pa Grape. Toasteroven at byu.edu is his email address. He has nothing else he can brag about at all. Nobody likes him. He is fat, ugly, and stupid. Or IS he...



Today is July 26th, and I am writing a new profile because I feel like it, and no one cares about how I ended up joining the board. My email is toasteroven at byu.edu. I like it when women think I'm cool. =P Things people say I am (in no particular order): Psychiatric, charismatic, psychosomatic, pedantic, full of garlic, cheesy, wheezy, breezy, refreshing, taxing, annoying, awesome, beautiful, cute, rough, outspoken, bombastic, confusing, awkward, abrupt, blunt, repetitive, sensitive, sexy, wicked sexy, wicked but not very, spicy, bland, knowledgable, ignorant, constant,lazy, inspiring, perspiring, conspiring, weird, interesting, unpredictable, red-type personality, blue-type personality, yellow-type personality (but never white personality, which is funny since the woman I'm in love with has a lot of white), and repetitive. That's me in a nutshell. Go me, or something. Yeah. I must shout. HOW IS IT GOIN UP THERE BACK AT THE TOP OF THE LIST, AMBRO?! PRETTY GOOD?! SWEET. COOL HAVIN YOU BACK, SISTAH. I LOVE YA BABE. OKAY, I WILL SHADDAP NOW! Yeah, she is cool. I like to think I am, too. We will see what everyone says about that. I hope everyone agrees with me. At least Latro thinks I am cool. That must count for something, right?

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