"In my defense... I saw 'Bring It On'..." -Anonymous Board Writer
Question #10551 posted on 11/22/2004 4:19 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Thanks to The Franchise and Grandpa for explaining the mysteries of second-cousining and once-removing. I've always been confused. It's odd to me that someone a level above me is my something-cousin instead of my something-aunt, and that my cousin Jason's baby is also my cousin. Once removed. So here's what I'm wondering. What is the definition of a great-aunt? Just my grandma/pa's sister, right? Or my mother/father's aunt. And her kids are my...mother's cousins...so they're my first cousins once removed? And THEIR kids are my second cousins? Also, The Franchise's second cousin twice removed made me think for a minute but I think I get it...So is she your mom/dad's *first* cousin *thrice* removed? Eesh.

- Love my family!

A: Dear Loves your family-

Yes, a great-aunt is the sister of a grandparent. Yes, her kids are your 1c, 1r. Yes, *their* kids are your 2c. Finally, yes, she is my dad's 1c, 3r, but my 2c, 2r.

-The Franchise
A: Dear family lover,
Good job! We have a question in here right now about Donald duck and Hewie, Dewie, and Louie. It got me thinking about the relationship between these ducks and Scrooge. I think I have it figured out. Donald refers to Scrooge as "Unca' Scrooge." So do Hewie, Dewie, and Louie. But they also refer to Donald as "Uncle Donald." Scrooge must be their great-uncle (their Grandmother's brother). Donald must be the brother of one of their parents, and the son of Scrooge's sister (it must be sister since they have different last names, though they are both bachelors). You sure didn't ask about that, but for some reason I got two of our questions combined in my head, and couldn't let it go!
A: Dear Love your OWN family,

Here's an interesting one for you. It's kinda like that I'm my own grandpa thing, but it's true. Except the names have been changed to protect my anonimity. I swear my family is so messed up.

So my dad's mother' mother (we'll call her Alice) had a daughter already (Beth) when she married dad's mom's father (Jorge). She gave birth to dad's mom (my grandma), but died soon after. Jorge took Beth (his step-daughter) to be his next wife. They had several children, including my crazy aunt (we'll call her Bertha since that's her real name). Thus Bertha is my dad's aunt because she's his mother's sister (they have the same father) and she's ALSO his first cousin since she's his mother's niece (Bertha's mother is Grandma's sister). That means that Bertha is both my great Aunt, AND my first cousin once removed! Isn't genealogy fun?

--The Confessor