"I would do it, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much." - Spike
Question #2288 posted on 01/12/2004 12:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How do I get ahold of the ceo of nbc?

Adam Slavens

A: Dear Adam,

I would reccomend sending him an envelope full of a brownish powder. Threaten him and I am sure it will get his attention. (The anthrax powder was brown, not white as most supposed....)

The captain
A: Dear Adam:

Make an appointment with his secretary. Her name is Mildred Bonk and can be reached at 1-630-NO-MO-FOX between the hours of 6:37 and 7:02 pm Nova Scotia time on even-numbered weekdays containing the letter "n" during a waxing moon, and odd-numbered weekdays containing the letter "s" during a waning moon.

-- The Keeper of Communist Houseplants