"If it's causing you more stress than it's worth... it's not worth it." - Yellow
Question #23171 posted on 02/20/2006 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

When a guy drops you off after a date and says "I'll call you", is that pretty much a given that he has no intention of calling you?

How long should a girl wait to try calling him?

- Boo Yeea

A: Dear Boo,

I would say it depends on the guy.

He may say he'll call you and then call you.

He may have been awkwardly trying to come up with anything to say and "I'll call you" seemed OK.

He may say he'll call you and really mean it, but then another girl, schoolwork, a job, etc. might come up and he'll never actually get around to it despite his original intentions.

-la bamba

A: Dear Boo,

And I would add that how long you wait before you call him should depend on the guy as well.

Go off of how often you talked before the date. If it was common for you to only talk once a week before, don't expect him to call you the next day. If, on the other hand, you've been talking every day, wait a bit and then give him a call.

If you do call, make sure it's a nonchalant call and not a pestering call.

And if he doesn't call, there's always the option of passing him a note that says something along the lines of:

Dear Boy,

Do you like me?

Circle:
YES NO

Love,
Girl


If only it were that easy.

- Lavish
A: Dear Lavish,

Ah, memories of third-grade boyfriends...

Nike
A: Dear BOOYA:

What? You want to call him back? Like he doesn't have at least five girls falling all at his feet here at BYU. I would wait until he calls you back. It's all in the chase.


Mojoschmoe
A: Dear Waiting Girl,
I'm almost ashamed to admit that when I say "I'll call you" I really mean "I'll call you next time I need to borrow a pan for cooking something and I'm probably never going ask you out again." That said if a girl that I had previously gone out with and used this phrase on calls me I'd be ok with it. Give me a week or so.

I sure hope this helps. Please don't hate me.

-- Brutus
A: Dear (shiver),

Being a male, I feel qualified to field this question. If a young man really plans on calling you, he probably won't feel that he has to announce that intention to you. If he likes you, he'll figure it out during the date and not right when he's dropping you off. Remarks like "I'll call you" are best used for defusing a potentially awkward situation at the end of a date.

Me, I don't think I've ever had occasion to say "I'll call you" at the end of a date. In general, I go on dates with people I already know pretty well and am already somewhat interested in. None of this quota dating stuff for me. It avoids a fair amount of awkwardness for me. The last date I went on was entirely pleasant. The two of us went to go see Howl's Moving Castle at the International Cinema a couple of weeks ago. I didn't feel like I had to tell her I'd call later, or even really say anything afterward.

So if you're interested in this guy, you could try giving him a call, but in general, the phrase "I'll give you a call" is code for "thanks, but I'm just not that into you." Take that for what it's worth.

- Optimistic.