Strange things are afoot at the Circle K. -Ted Theodore Logan
Question #31611 posted on 07/15/2000 midnight

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have some classes in the Eyring building but I'm not strong enough to pull open the doors. Why are they so hard to open? My roommate says I should start taking steroids so that I can open the doors and get to class. What do you think?

- Frail

A: Dear Frail,

I don't think steroids are necessary. All you need to do is wait for a reasonably buff man/woman/seeing-eye-dog to open them for you. But if you'd rather be self sufficient I suggest practicing opening those doors ten times a day, fifty reps. I guarantee results by Fall semester.

- The Rad Hatter