I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third. -Michael Scott, The Office
Question #37608 posted on 07/14/2007 4:11 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Could you come up with 15 top reasons not to live in Maryland? And conversely, 15 reasons TO live in VA (specifically Arlington).

- Lets just say that I am trying to convince a roommate

A: Dear roommate convincer,

Hmmm, let's see. As a Virginian, the only reasons I've ever gone to Maryland are BWI and the temple. Besides being plain funny-looking, Maryland is obviously inferior and here are some reasons why:
  1. Maryland's flag is atrocious.
  2. Maryland is smaller than Virginia.
  3. Crime: Maryland vs. Virginia.
  4. People that live in Virginia never go to Maryland for anything (except BWI and the temple). There must be a reason for that.
  5. All the good stuff in DC is on the Virginia side.
  6. Maryland has weird city names, like Chevy Chase, Glen Burnie, and Laurel. Virginia has normal names, like Alexandria, Vienna, and Arlington (and Dunn Loring).
  7. There are lots of Board writers from Virginia. None from Maryland.
  8. Number of US Presidents from Virginia: 8. Number from Maryland: 0.
  9. Virginia is for lovers. Maryland is for crabs.
  10. Virginia has better shopping (Tysons Corner, Crystal City, Potomac Mills).
  11. People must make more money in Virginia, because the houses are more expensive...
  12. Maryland's state motto is "Manly deeds, womanly words". Virginia's is "Thus always to tyrants", referring to the state seal where a tyrant is being impaled. Virginia wins.
  13. Maryland used to request that everyone "drive gently". Womanly words indeed.
  14. Virginia has the romantic allure of a southern state. Maryland is a boring northern state.
  15. Maryland sucks and Virginia is awesome.
So there you go. Good luck convincing your roommate.

-=Optimus Prime=-
A: Dear Convincer,

You need fifteen reason to not live in Maryland. That's really, really easy.

1. It's not Ohio.
2. It's not Ohio.
3. It's not Ohio.
4. It's not Ohio.
5. It's not Ohio.
6. It's not Ohio.
7. It's not Ohio.
8. It's not Ohio.
9. It's not Ohio.
10. It's not Ohio.
11. It's not Ohio.
12. It's not Ohio.
13. It's not Ohio.
14. It's not Ohio.
15. It's not Ohio.

You also need fifteen reasons to live in Virginia, eh? I'll do my best.

1. At least it's not Michigan.
2. At least it's not Michigan.
3. At least it's not Michigan.
4. At least it's not Michigan.
5. At least it's not Michigan.
6. At least it's not Michigan.
7. At least it's not Michigan.
8. At least it's not Michigan.
9. At least it's not Michigan.
10. At least it's not Michigan.
11. At least it's not Michigan.
12. At least it's not Michigan.
13. At least it's not Michigan.
14. At least it's not Michigan.
15. At least it's not Michigan.

Well I sure hope this helps. Please don't hate me.

-- Brutus