"If you are not getting the hint after the lingering hug with back rub, no amount of 100 Hour Board answers are going to help you." - Rating Pending
Question #41413 posted on 12/11/2007 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Typing Monkeys,

Can you send the following message to CATS?

Dear CATS,
Help is on the way. The 100 Typing Monkeys will never know what hit them. CATS move every zig, remember?
Wishing you the best,
A devoted fan

100 Typing Monkeys - you have been warned...

- That Curious Cat, who wants to hear from CATS again!

A: Dear Curious Cat,

Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness, however, I am no longer in need of any help. 100 Typing Monkeys was ever so kind and he helped me find the error of my ways. I believe he called it... brainwashing? He said my brain is nice and clean! I like clean. Now I spend most of my days reading classic English literature, helping nice old ladies cross dangerous intersections, caring for animals at the local shelter, and donating to small insignificant charities. I wish you the best of luck! Thank you 100 Typing Monkeys! You're the best!

Sincerely,
-CATS
A: Dear 100 Hour Board Readers,

It's a Christmas Miracle!! Did you read that grammar? This makes the #13 incident forgivable.

-100 Typing Monkeys
A: Dear 100 Typing Monkeys,

Me? A miracle?! Why, thank you!

The real miracle though is the power of friendship. Friends are so important. They help us become better people than we are and they lift us up when we are down. And that is exactly what you've done for me 100 Typing Monkeys. You're fantastic! In fact, everyone is fantastic. I am just so glad that I can share all I have with MY friends.

By the way, friend, what was the #13 incident of which you speak?

Sincerely,
-CATS
A: CATS,

Our friend, and we do not hesitate to call you such any longer, as far as we are concerned there was no #13 incident. You should never think of it again (and after another "friendship" session or two we are confident you never will).

CATS, we are coming to see you as the Guildenstern to our Rosencrantz, the Romulus to our Remus. We find the new CATS so delightful we would like to extend honorary membership to you. We would like you to become the 101st member of our group. CATS, will you accept the honor, so that we might become 100 Typing Monkeys and Friend? If this works out, don't be surprised if an offer of Honorary Monkeyhood comes your way, and we simply become 101 Typing Monkeys. Of course, CATS, you would have to prove yourself worthy of that highest non-sapian honor, but we trust you can be that good.

-100 Typing Monkeys