"If you are not getting the hint after the lingering hug with back rub, no amount of 100 Hour Board answers are going to help you." - Rating Pending
Question #41521 posted on 12/17/2007 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Is it possible for one person to receive a spiritual confirmation about something, while someone else receives a different confirmation about the same situation?

HYPOTHETICALLY, let's say that I am dating someone. We are thinking of getting married and we pray about it. He receives the answer "Yes, you should marry her" while I receive the answer "No, you should not marry him". Is this possible, or would one of us be receiving the wrong answer?

Thank You,
Just Me

A: Dear You:

Yes, I think that is entirely possible. Hard, but definitely not unreasonable. It's called personal revelation for a reason. As Katya said once, "the answers can be very wide-ranging, from 'yes, this is the specific person you are supposed to marry' to 'this choice is up to you.'" (Read the whole answer. It's excellent.)

I don't think that this situation means either of you did anything wrong. I think it simply means that you are one girl he could be happy with, but that it's not the best decision for you. Also, there is a difference between "no" and "not now." If it's the latter, hopefully he would be willing to wait till the right time. Remember, though: God can see the big picture. Sometimes, even in matters as important as marriage, you might get no answer; but as Elder Scott reminded us, that doesn't mean it won't come.

A: just you -

this might just be me, but i think you put too much stock in "the answer" theory of marriage. don't wait for the heavens to part and your answer to be given to you on a silver platter. more often than not, your answer will be something along the lines of "you know, i'm going to leave this one up to you." that's not to say that very specific revelation telling you who you need to marry can't possibly happen, but i'll go out on a limb and say that it happens in far less than one percent of cases.

here's what i'd recommend: do your homework first, then ask. take some time to think about the person you want to marry. do you like spending time with this person? is there more to your relationship than simply physical attraction? do you feel happy with this person? have you seen them in more emotional states than just "happy"? once you've thought these through, make a preliminary decision. then ask if you've made the right one.

just a thought.

- ghost