A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent
Question #42868 posted on 02/15/2008 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm an older-than-most single female, usually I try not to dwell on this fact; but, I've been having trouble lately and would like some advice.

Every morning when I wake up and I'm in that minute or so between sleep and alertness I have an overwhelming sense of loneliness and sorrow. It's like when I wake up and am there in my little twin bed alone in the room I just get overwhelmed. By the time I'm actually awake a minute or so later (or on the worse days, once I'm out of the shower), I'm just fine.

This isn't a pleasant way to start each day, and it has been going on for quite a while. What should I do?

-SWF

A: Dear SWF,

I too was single for a lot longer than I ever wanted to be. It was very hard emotionally, especially when I was at BYU. While, like you, I did not dwell on loneliness during most of the day, there were certain private times when I felt overcome by it.

I don't know how to cure anyone of feeling lonely and wanting to be with someone, but I do recommend that you try to eliminate this opportunity for your mind to wallow in loneliness by jumping out of bed and getting ready as soon as your alarm goes off.

Also, if you're like me, part of your reason for loneliness is that you feel like you'd like to know that your life is integrally tied to someone else's - like you fill an essential and needed role for them. While marriage will certainly bring that, I suggest that you find opportunities to make that happen now. For me, tutoring was a good way for me to help people and know that I was making a difference to them daily. You could also talk to your bishop or church leader about finding person-to-person service opportunities.

Good luck!

The Cleaning Lady