"Childhood obesity is a growing problem" -DU Headline
Question #46949 posted on 08/18/2008 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm going to graduate soon and I was wondering if you could compile a list of the things that a student needs to do while going to school at BYU. I'm not really looking for things like "climbing the Y" or "going to the creamery on 9th". I would like to know those more obscure activities that no complete BYU experience would be without.

- glimpsing the light at the end of the tunnel

A: Dear end of the tunnel

Top 101 Things Every BYU Student Should Do

1. DTR three times in one day with the same person
2. (assuming you're male) Flaunt official school policy and get on national tv at a BYU football game displaying your proudly painted shirtless upper-body
3. Play the Mission Impossible theme on the bells in the bell tower
4. Get the library to play the soundtrack from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog at closing time
5. Smuggle food into Special Collections and eat it there
6. Spend the night in the library and leave notes taunting security every hour on the hour at the security desk
7. Paraglide off the SWKT
8. Meet the person of your dreams, get engaged, and married within one semester
9. Dodge the tunnel worms while carrying ground beef
10. Give the Indian statue a coat during the first snowfall
11. Hook up with someone in Periodicals
12. Write the Board asking about your utterly unique relationship problem
13. Go on three dates with three different people on the same day (bonus points if two dates overlap by a half hour and they don't know it)
14. Convince a freshman to meet you on the thirteenth floor of the SWKT
15. Throw marshmallows off of the JFSB balcony
16. Set a foot in every building (does not have to be yours)
17. Shhhh in the No-Shhh Zone
18. While in the Cougareat speak loudly about the inappropriateness of PDA, then start making out with your significant other
19. Get a letter to the editor of the Daily Universe published that complains about the letters to the editor they publish
20. Get a date with a BYU Info operator
21. Sled down the hill between the Administration Building and the HBLL and try to go through the glass windows at the bottom
22. Play a game of Ultimate in the WILK
23. Get the library to play the theme from Chariots of Fire at closing time and run out of the building in slow motion
24. Join Hobbes's Death Squad
25. Be killed by Hobbes's Death Squad
26. Sell your used books inside the Bookstore without them ever becoming aware of it
27. Sell your soul during the last minute and a half of the BYU-Utah game (obviously some BYU students did this each of the last two years)
28. Start a rumor that the latest Disney Channel star is Mormon because they're so wholesome (and therefore, irrefutably, must be Mormon) and stand back in awe as it spreads like wildfire
29. DTR twice in one day with different people
30. Turn the Brigham Young statue around
31. Get the Canadian national anthem played over the loudspeakers and count how many people stop
32. Get lost in the basement of the HFAC (hint: lose sight of the stairs and you've accomplished your goal)
33. Attend a Board party and learn the identity of at least one writer
34. Write a paper on a comic book character
35. Weld wedding rings on the hands of the mother and father in the family statue
36. Hike the Y (just kidding)
37. Fill out a Board writer's dating application and be prepared for the night of your life
38. Start a debate about some ridiculous moral stand in the DU and have it continue unabated for at least two weeks
39. Live for one week solely off of food from The Twilight Zone
40. Bleach a library security guard's blue blazer while they’re wearing it...except apparently you'll have to travel back in time to do this since they no longer wear blue blazers...
41. Drink half a gallon of your roommate’s milk without them knowing because you add water each time you drink from the jug (much easier if they drink skim)
42. Play against the UofU in the NCAA Football 2007 video game as many times as it takes to win the game on a pass from Beck to Harline on the last play of the game
43. Participate in a sword fight with wooden swords while dressed as a peasant
44. Cross-country ski to campus
45. Eat carbonated yogurt in Dr. Lynn Ogden’s office
46. Get your roommate in trouble with the Honor Code office for watching YouTube videos
47. Get to know a Democrat, find out if they know what they’re talking about or if they’re just rebelling against Mommy and Daddy
48. Get to know a Republican, find out if they know what they’re talking about or if they’re just following Mommy and Daddy
49. Get to know a Libertarian….snicker, snicker
50. Do not do the dishes for two weeks and see if your roommate cracks and does them despite all their protestations that they will not touch them
51. Perform at halftime with the Cougarettes
52. Pretend to be a display item at the Bean Museum
53. Get the library to play the soundtrack from the musical episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer at closing time
54. Get maced by a library security guard (see #40 for inspiration on how to make this happen)
55. Visit every BYU campus, but schedule more time in Hawaii than Idaho
56. Paint the law school bright pink
57. Have Brandon Sanderson autograph his book while he is teaching class
58. Add a chicken bone to the fossil collection
59. Discover the ultimate makeout spot that has never been used in the history of the campus, and make use of it
60. Get on the library security guard's list of Most Embarrassing Things They've Ever Seen on the Security Camera
61. Ride every bus line that leaves from campus and always sit right next to another passenger even though there are rows and rows of empty seats
62. Climb the fish-statue-thing in the Museum of Art
63. Cut all the grass with nothing but a pair of hand clippers and lots of spunk
64. Discover where the BYU operators reside
65. Live off your food storage for three months
66. Become facebook friends with 2,000 BYU students you have never actually met
67. Discover the Board lair
68. Walk up to a stranger of the opposite gender and say, "I've prayed about it, you're the one"
69. Get the library to play "Ice, Ice Baby" at closing time
70. Get a role in an unfunny LDS-themed comedy
71. Try to convince the administration to accept your fluency in Klingon as worthy of several credits
72. Take underwater basket weaving, only really do it underwater with scuba equipment
73. Watch Johnny Lingo every Sunday until your roommates destroy your DVD
74. Play pranks on your roommates, but convince them it's the apartment across the street that is doing it, and watch a prank war unfold
75. Start a blog which complains about Twilight, email the link to all your female friends and watch the comments pour in
76. Post requests for rides to "Malt Shoppe" on the ride board
77. Get your roommates together and act out scenes from LDS-themed movies on the JFSB patio
78. Recount all the steps on campus
79. Paint a tail on the U
80. Throw water balloons off the SWKT
81. Cook dinner for a date in the food lab
82. Replace the astronomy video at the planetarium with Jurassic Park
83. Write your phone number on the 50-yard line the night before the home opener
84. Play hide and go seek in the MARB
85. Drive a golf cart around campus and offer tours to everyone you pass
86. During the summer get your roommates together, perform random cheers at lunchtime, and wait for an EFY counselor to ask you to come meet werf's group
87. Put dish soap in the fountains
88. Take a test with three days of scruff
89. Get the library to play "Eye of the Tiger" at closing time
90. Use "werf" in a paper
91. Get your row in LaVell Edwards Stadium to Riverdance during a timeout
92. Play Barney's "I Love You" song on the piano in the WILK, don't stop until someone sings along
93. Hang a crayon drawing in the Museum of Art, have it hang there for at least 24 hours before the staff notices it
94. Park south of campus, leave your car there all semester once you find a spot
95. Play "Duck, Duck, Goose" with the ducks at the duck pond
96. Cite the Board as a source in a term paper
97. Walk around with sideburns, revel in your rebellious nature
98. Try to swim across Try to walk near Utah Lake without gagging
99. Memorize the Board archives
100. Get the library to play "Macarena" at closing time, perform the dance perfectly
101. Think of 101 ridiculous things to tell an undergraduate they have to do while they're students in order to have the full BYU experience

-Humble Master (with many a helpful suggestion from Dragon Lady)