Silence is the virtue of fools. -Sir Francis Bacon
Question #52973 posted on 08/07/2009 3:01 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I have just recently lost my boyfriend(broken up, he did not die). I have yet to reach the stage of acceptance and I am curious: by distancing myself from him and acting as though my world has not been clawed to pieces by this, is he more likely to be lured back in?


A: Dear cynical,

Breaking up hurts, and nothing you do will make the mourning process pass faster. Don't think of it in terms of "luring" him back in. If you get back together, it'll happen organically, but the healthiest reaction for you right now is to consider it finally and completely over. Spend time on yourself, be with supportive friends you can trust. Put your ex behind you and don't look back, no matter how tempting it might be. Being happy, stable, and emotionally independent is your goal for now.

Music is always a good tool for emotional catharsis, as well. Find good sad, angry, vindicating music. Allow me to suggest the Magnetic Fields for a start if you need something heartbreaking.