By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. -George Carlin
Question #572 posted on 10/16/2003 4:02 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,
Why does that poor skinny pine tree on the lawn between Maeser and Brimhall have so many branches lopped off? What does the grounds crew have to say about this?

- Not a Krumholtz

A: Dear Not a Krumholtz,

Unfortunately for the trees on campus, the arborist does not carefully supervise pruning of each and every tree. The result? Hundreds of trees are whacked and chopped in a sloppy and disorganized way. That pine tree is suffering a cold and ignominious adolescence. My friend, a horticulture genius, shudders every time she comes to campus and looks at the horrible pruning jobs. Now, before some pruner gets all huffy about me insulting their shoddy work, let me clarify: I don't blame you -- I blame the people who didn't train you properly. That is, unless they tried to train you and you were too busy flirting with the girl across the room to pay attention. In which case, you should be fired immediately. The End.