I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third. -Michael Scott, The Office
Question #57708 posted on 05/27/2010 3:01 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

On 600 W in Provo, around where 700 N ought to be, there's a stream. But when I go to the next block in either direction, I can no longer find it. Where does it come from? Where does it go to?

—The One Little Duck with a Feather in Its Back

A: Dear Little Duck,

My guess is that it's part of a current or former irrigation canal. As I am not in Provo right now, I can't confirm it by personally taking a look, but from what I can see in Google Street View it has railings similar to those of the canal features discussed in Board Question #56942. And for what it's worth, one of my operatives was able to get this photo of the water disappearing under 600 W:



The vertical slots visible in the concrete suggest to me that there could have been a sluice gate there once upon a time, implying it might have been part of the canal network. In any case, more info should be coming soon from other writers on-location.

- The Detective
A: Dear ducky,

Set a course for ADVENTURE! We are on the job!

Marzipan, Gimgimno, Commander Keen, and I (Cognoscente) set out Saturday afternoon to do a little exploring. We headed to the stream and found what you had described. Remember, to conceal our valuable secret identities, we are forced to wear paper bags over our heads. I have illustrated the photos accordingly.



The stream flows into a grate. Past this we couldn't find anything in several blocks. We speculate that it simply flows back into the city water supply. All we could do is find the source.



Heading upstream, we followed it up through someone's yard, where it flows from a storm drain.



Gimgimno took a good look at the storm drain, but it disappeared under the parking lot of the chapel here, and we couldn't pick up the stream anywhere on the next two blocks over.





Though Commander Keen did hear running water under a large covered access.



We persevered, and just up the hill we ran into the good old Provo River!


(Here, Gimgimno and Commander Keen strike out ahead, presumably to get some much sought-after alone time.)

We caught up with them and paused to take in the solemn majesty of the river up close.



Our next task? We needed to find an obvious access point that connected the river with the small stream several blocks away. We scrabbled down along the bank. I lost my balance and almost ate it right into the river. Gimpy and CK freed a stuck branch from the river and were almost pulled in, only to see it get re-stuck almost instantly. Branches, man. (Commander Keen was so shaken after that branch he had to stop and "rest" a moment before we could continue.)

At 800 North and 850 West, we found our point!



Voila! The water runs from here, underneath the street, to get to the stream you saw.

Oh hey, and if you've ever wondered just how short Marzipan actually is in real life, check this out! I'm 6'1":



Yep! She's about armpit high! And positively thrilled about the photo shoot.

As we traveled back to the car, we decided to go a step further and travel up the river as far as Google Maps would show us, to see how far we could get.

(I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Google and Blackberry for making this trip possible. Hooray, technology!)



Several adventures later, our map took us to the parking lot near a Subway and Texaco in Orem, just before entering the canyon.



The river comes down here through a private property with several menacing signs posted. Luckily, dear readers, the 100 Hour Board lives life to the fullest, and chose to walk on the wild side.



We couldn't get much farther because of terrain, sadly, but we saw the house around which the river flows in from the Uinta National Forest:



With the photographic evidence secured and petty crimes achieved, we fought our way through a pretentious looking gang of longboarding hipsters and made our way home.

In short, here's the general idea we have of how the stream connects with Provo River:



And Wikipedia places the official source of Provo River some 50 miles to the northeast, high in the Wasatch mountains, at this precise location. It flows from here, all the way down to Utah Lake. AND NOW YOU KNOW.

DAY OFFICIALLY SEIZED.

-Cognoscente, Commander Keen, Gimgimno, and Marzipan
A: Dear readers,

I hope you all noticed how horribly gigantic my feet are. I mean, honestly, it's pretty embarrassing, but now you know.

Marzipan
A: Dear readers,

If you're wondering why there aren't any pictures of Marzipan playing in the stream, it's for the reason she already mentioned--her massively disproportionate feet make her very accident-prone. Since the river was a chilling 34 degrees or so, we thought it best that she not risk falling in and dying of hypothermia.

Might I also add that the reason why CK and I ran ahead was because we realized where we were in relation to the river and we wanted to beat Cogs and Marzipan to the answer? Because that was the reason. The alone time was just a bonus.

--Gimgimno
A: Dear Gimgimno,

My gigantic feet and the cold temperature weren't the only reasons I wouldn't play in the river...

Marzipan
A: Dear Marzipan,

There was plenty of river to play in upstream...

Dear Coggers,

Yeah, what Gimpy said. We wanted to beat you to the kill ("It was [our] kill. [We] beat you to the kill!"). No alone time was had. Cram it.

Dear Readers,

Other scintillating details we didn't have room to fully explicate:

- A slow-eating Board writer's burritos were stolen by other impatient Board writer(s).
- Love was confessed to Marzipan by a fellow writer.
- Symbol of said writer's affection towards Marzipan was cast off as dross to be trampled by hipster longboard gang.
- Attraction was soon after expressed towards an admittedly cute female member of hipster gang.
- At least one little girl on a bike was scared off by an unnamed writer's innocent actions.
- Señor Bigote began his professional career as a photographer!

- Commander Keen
A: Dear Cogs,

Yes. CK and I are specters from the gods. You are bleak and fearsome.

Dear readers,

Other details of note:

- I was almost thrust into the freezing river because the freed branch tried to exact revenge on me.
- Oh yeah. We ate burritos before this adventure, if you didn't catch that before.
- Love might have been kindled between Marzipan and an unnamed writer if the unnamed writer had had clean hands (and a pure heart, but we won't go there).
- Señor Bigote really does have a promising career in photography ahead of him!

--Gimgimno
A: Dear fellow law-abiding citizens of Utah county,

On a completely unrelated topic, it's interesting to note that according to Title 76, Chapter 9, Section 702 Subsection 6 of the Utah Code, public urination is considered a class C misdemeanor in Utah, punishable by up to 90 days in jail and a fine of up to $750.

Just sayin'.

-Cognoscente