"I'm not a chicken. I'm just really hesitant." -Frasier Crane
Question #70269 posted on 01/29/2013 10:46 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I was reading through the archives, and I was wondering, as to the previous writers, "Where are they now?" As in what have they been up to, whether or not the tunnel worms got them, etc., not their exact whereabouts.

-Ninja Lime


Dear Ninja Lime,

A.A. Melyngoch is currently working on a PhD while simultaneously teaching as an Associate Instructor of English.

Ambrosia worked for a few years as a technical writer before becoming a stay-at-home parent to a couple of Bawblings.

Anomalous is living in SLC and working as a reporter.

Baked Alaska graduated from BYU, moved to Arizona, and got married this last spring to the world's nicest guy.

Beemer Boy

Beemer Boy is happily married to a gorgeous, 5'11 green-eyed blond who is his superior in every way. They have three kids who are better than yours. Beemer Boy, still seeking the elusive car that is his namesake, has worked in and around Salt Lake since graduating. He's still an Apple fan and we thought we lost him when the iPhone was announced  in 2007 and he almost went into cardiac arrest from excitement.

Bertie Wooster went to law school and was never heard from again.


I graduated! This is really the only update of enough importance to merit a mention on the Board, but exciting nonetheless.


Boolean works as a web developer in SLC.

Branflakes works for Adobe as a network engineer.


Dear NL,

Here. Stuff.



Dear Neither a Ninja nor a Limey

Now I got t' tell ye, sir, tha' ye really canna be much of a ninja if'n ye dunna know where we are? C'mon now! 'Tisn't like there be a lot o' us or anythin. An ye dunna know enough to be a sailor in the queen's Navy either. Stick to your Yankee infantry.

As fer me, I've settled fer now in the south a the States where it's far too warm right now for December. Anyone else be havin tha problem? I got a whole bin of jumpers up in me closet, but it idn't cold enough. What I'd been doin' is, y'see, I jes came back in from takin' a commendation out to the letterbox for one of me friends. The wee lass is goin off to university already. They grows up too fast.
Bob's your uncle.

An now, I'm feelin' a bit peckish. I'm gonna go an make some bangers n mash t' break me fast. Take care, now!



After leaving BYU and The Board in 2007, I moved to Columbus, Ohio to finish my schooling at The Ohio State University.  I finished a BA in German in 2010 and a BS in Chemical Engineering in March 2012.  I currently live and in the Pittsburgh, PA area working as a Measurement Engineer for a midstream oil and gas company.  With hydraulic fracturing (fracking) becoming more mainstream, southwestern Pennsylvania is experiencing a fairly large oil boom and I expect to be here for the foreseeable future.  I miss living in Ohio (where God lives), but I have some family in this area and Pittsburgh is beginning more and more to feel like home.  I update my blog (boardbrutus.blogspot.com) fairly irregularly, but if you have questions about what I am doing, I check it often enough to get back to you. I do, in fact, still have the button, despite anything that Uffish Thought, Lavish, or Optimus Prime may claim.

I sure hope this helps.  Please don’t hate me.



Buttercup has a soulless corporate job, so she's applying to grad school right now in an effort to change that. She's currently reading Days of Blood & Starlight by Laini Taylor, listening to Underwater by Joshua Radin, and recently re-watched Moonrise Kingdom. All three are absolutely delightful.

CAPCOM is a doctor in the state of Washington.


It is a break. But can it?? It will have a shining light, unless. Ha Ha Ha Ha...

Conrad is married and living in Pennsylvania.

Castle in the Sky married the Defenestrator, proving that two Boardies can get involved without disastrous results. They have two kids.


Dear Ninja Fruit,
I'm halfway through my third year of medical school. I almost feel like I know what's going on some of the time. Medical education is....a process. I came into medical school almost sure I wanted to go into gastroenterology, but then I unexpectedly fell in love with surgery. While I haven't made the decision for sure, I'm probably going to apply soon for a residency in general surgery. Someday, dear reader, I may have my hands all up in your guts. We can both look forward to that! I'll bring the knife!
Talk about school, check; make really scary side comment to readers, check; ah, it's time to talk about my family! I'm the proud father of three adorable daughters. My girls are 4, 2, and 8 months. My amazing wife stays home with them and keeps all of our lives running smoothly. Now at six-and-a-half years of marriage, I'm more convinced than ever that I made the right choice, marriage-wise. Our oldest daughter was diagnosed as autistic about a year ago, which has been an interesting thing to deal with. Luckily, we have a very supportive family and a good series of occupational, physical, and speech therapists helping her out. Mrs. Claudio has started homeschooling her and is making really good progress with teaching her how to read and the very beginnings of arithmetic.
All in all, life is pretty great! I'm on my way to my desired career with my awesome family by my side. Thanks for asking!

Cognoscente works as a systems analyst and got married to his missionary in 2010. They have a dog, a cat, and two guinea pigs. 

Commander Keen will be at BYU for a little while longer. He got married just a few months back.


I've escaped the cold winters of Idaho and moved to a burning desert, where I now am a large arms dealer.  Missiles and the like. That's about all I'm up to.  Have a lovely Christmas!

de novo

Benvolio and I (Kassidy) are specializing in little girls; we had our third in October. Benvolio is practicing law. I'm staying home raising our girls and playing my French horn in local musical groups. To this day, if either of us don't know the answer to a question, we look it up. 100 Hour Board habits die hard.


Dear Citrus-no-jutsu,

After departing Provo with the aspirations of making real money, I found myself wishing I could have stuck around just a little bit longer to get my master's thesis fully squared away. Needless to say, when I was working a full-time job and still trying to do research and write papers in my spare time, I couldn't keep up the board life. Somehow in the middle of it all, I met a Lovely Lady who pitied me for my plight and politely accepted my company whenever I had the opportunity. After weeks of cloistering myself in my one bedroom office, I finished my degree and asked Lovely Lady to marry me. I promptly took a trip around the world without her, realized my mistake and returned to her, and got married.
And now I have a fine trench coat.
democritus trench coat.jpg

Dinomight, I can only assume, is working as a programmer somewhere.

Dr. Smeed is currently a US Army Signal officer stationed in Georgia. He is the father of two strong and handsome boys.

Dragon Lady is a full-time mom of two girls. She remains an authority on all things gardening, Harry Potter, and Jerusalem.


Dear Ninja Lime,

How nice of you to ask. Since leaving the Board in 2006 a lot has happened in my life. I've changed employment 4 times, careers 3 times, and moved from Provo to Draper to Salt Lake. I earned an MS degree in Technical Communication from Utah State University (though I never lived in Logan, thank goodness, as it is way too cold there). I've always worked in some sort of communications position, but now I'm working in documentation. Let's face it, I used to write user manuals for the Board writers just for fun, and I think they all thought I was nuts. If that didn't do it, compiling the entire Board history (as still posted on the Board's website) was probably a close second. I spend a lot of time traveling and being the best aunt in the world to my 3 nieces and 2 nephews.

I actually still associate with a lot of Board writers. I keep up with Branflakes, Pa Grape, Benvolio & Kassidy, the Mighty Quinn, Katya, Ambrosia, Mynamyn, Lavish, and others. And interestingly enough, the world is still pretty small because I now work with Yellow! Let me tell you he was as surprised to see me as I was to see him, if not more so. (I'm sorry to break it to everyone, but we work for the best company ever.)

When I have time I come down to BYU football and basketball games—I was at that St. Mary's game and totally missed that last shot that lost the game for us! Campus has changed a lot since I was a freshman as DT no longer exists, The Cannon Center has been completely remodeled, Heritage Halls is in transition, and all that's left of the Morris Center are my memories of treks for IBC Root Beer. But the Board is still here. And I hope that the current and future Board writers can maintain the standard of excellence that the original Board creators set up so long ago in 1995—or whenever it really got started—and keep it going for many more years to come.
Keep learning,



I'm homeschooling a strangely increasing number of children, chugging through hubby's pursuit of a PhD while I polish my shiny longest-B.S.-ever diploma on the wall, and planning to attend midwifery or ND school when these children stop showing up at my house constantly.


I'm living in Utah County working from home as a software developer, putting Mr. Socks through school.  No cats or kids.... yet ;)  I developed an unexpected passion six years ago for healthy cooking and other domestic activities, which leads to me saying weird things like, "I'd rather be programming or baking!" 

fine print is living in Arizona with her husband and three children, the youngest of which arrived just last month.

Foreman is living in the DC area with his lovely wife Stargirl and is enrolled in a Master's program.

Fractile lives in Colorado where he works for EDUCAUSE, and, as of October of last year, is married.

Fsyod is married with two boys and a girl, and last I heard had plans to move to North Carolina.

Geo Prism got married, graduated, had a baby, and moved to the Pacific Northwest. She likes to sew, read, and do other nerdy things.  

habiba is currently living in Massachusetts.


I'm working as an editor for a company that teaches students foreign languages through the Internet. I married a beautiful, intelligent woman and got a house and a husky--I'm all domesticated! I still have two parakeets, and they're scared of my husky.

I'm still diligently writing eight hours a week and trying to get published. My life is in a pleasant state of equilibrium and I miss the wild adventures the Board provided sometimes.

Horatio currently works for Skullcandy in Park City.

Humble Master

I wrapped up my PhD program and I now teach English at a church owned university (where I share an office with the Mrs. who teaches in the Psychology department).  Lil' Master has been joined by Lil'er Master, who are both freaking adorable in my unbiased opinion.  I've published academic pieces on comic books and/or tv shows, and I'm currently editing a series of essay collections on various superheroes and how they have evolved to reflect changing attitudes and issues in American society. So feel free to purchase essay collections such as, oh I don't know, The Ages of Superman: Essays on the Man of Steel in Changing Times  (or similar collections on Wonder Woman, the X-Men, and the Avengers which will be coming out in the next year or so).  I wouldn't mind that at all.

Hypatia left us to go study in the Great White North.

Il Guanaco is a paramedic in the great state of Texas, despite his great love for the state of Virginia. He used to have a hedgehog, but she died of old age. As of right now he's still single, still searching, and is watching Battlestar Galactica. 

Just Another Cassio

JAC lives in Salt lake City and spends his days helping companies go paperless and his nights strengthening the Utah theatre community. His experience at The Board led to a statewide theatre review site (www.UtahTheaterBloggers.com) that in the past 3 years has reviewed over 600 shows ranging from city plays to Broadway tours.

Katya the Physics Chick is still librarian-ing it up, and may soon be coming to a library near you. 

Kicks and Giggles graduated from BYU, and then stayed in Provo for a handful of years to work. She now lives in SLC and works for the editing department of the corporation that resides in Utah's tallest building. When asked about her love life, K&G responded that she's still as single as ever, but she's okay with it "BECAUSE MY VALUE ISN'T DEPENDENT ON BEING ATTACHED TO A MAN, DAD!" 

Killer Uno Addict lives and works in Illinois, and is currently getting her second Masters in Library Information Science.

krebscout lives with her husband and two kiddos in California. In addition to being a full-time mom she owns her own business and works as a freelance illustrator. She successfully rode a bicycle for the first time in forever, which is a really big deal.

L'Afro, despite being female, is a contributing writer at Modern Mormon Men. She recently moved across the country with her husband and toddler son, while simultaneously working on her portfolio, studying her brains out for the GRE, and preparing for the birth of her second child. She has applied to a very prestigious writing program and we will be shocked if she is not accepted.

la bamba


I was recently on a nationally-televised game show and won a lot of money (more than $60K, less than $600K)  
I live on the East Coast with my husband and read The 100 Hour Board every day.

-la bamba  

Latro moved to Florida after leaving BYU, but has since relocated to Maryland, where he works for the Air Force. 

Lavish got married, moved to San Francisco, moved back to Utah, finished school, and settled down in a townhouse with her husband and two cats.

Leibniz is currently a BYU faculty member. Guess which one.

Lexi Khan is married and living in Washington, D.C.

Marzipan graduated from BYU in 2012 and is still ridiculously awesome.

Mico is a "plain old grad student" who is currently learning how to knit and wishes she were more interesting.

Mighty Quinn

Mighty Quinn here. I know what you're all wondering. And I don't think it coincidence that a question about my life and whereabouts has come at a time of year reserved for joy and celebration: yes all you fit women out there, I'm still single. Yes, the abs are still like titanium. Yes, if we ever meet in person I'll let you touch them...but only softly.

Misaneroth got a degree in Biochemistry from BYU, then went to U Penn for a second, better degree in Biochemistry.

Miss Scarlett is an Academic Advisor at BYU.

Mojoschmoe worked in Utah as a dietician for two years, then moved to Minnesota to pursue an MFA in Musical Theatre Performance. She hopes to end up in Seattle.

Nike lives in Arizona.

No Dice

No Dice is a first-year law student on the West Coast somewhere. He manages to do most of his assigned reading with the help of copious amounts of saltine crackers and fruit snacks. Mrs. Dice stays at home with Baby Dice, who likes to do lots of baby stuff like eat Oreos and bonk his head on furniture. He keeps the Dices busy and sane. Here's a picture of him being a complete goofball on his first birthday, since--let's face it--babies are cuter than big people.
baby dice 2.jpg

Cheerio, all. 
No Dice
Novel Concept moved to Pennsylvania so her husband could go to grad school, but they and their two children have since relocated to Illinois. Since retiring as a writer Novel Concept has taught high school physics and World Civilizations.


Dear Ninja Lime,

Heyyyy. Since I retired, I worked for a diversity magazine in my hometown and then decided to move out of my hometown so I would someday have half a chance of meeting Mr. Olympus. I met him within three weeks of the move (and also saw The Golden Mean in the same place I met Mr. Olympus!) After building an origami lighthouse that lights up with conductive ink and getting disqualified from a No-Rules Pinewood Derby for interfering with other cars, we decided to get married and go to Harry Potter World for a honeymoon. Now, we live in an inner-city ward in the Bay Area, CA, and have zero children. I own nearly 600 books and a superrad bookshelf I made. I teach piano lessons, and I am taking prerequisite classes for ASL interpreting and Speech/Language Pathology grad programs. I have a time-intensive calling right now. I am going to Disneyland for Christmas. I watch "Stargate" and scrapbook and read academic papers on The Collected Works of Joss Whedon and I just learned to play chess. I made awesome Christmas presents for my family, but they're all still secrets. Also I still answer questions periodically when Marguerite St. Just asks really nicely.

Optimus Prime lives and works in Texas where the weather is freakishly warm year-round. He enjoys photography, taking trips with his family, and recently got LASIK surgery. He and his wife are expecting their fourth child later this year.

Optimistic. graduated from BYU, grew a beard waiting for his wife to graduate, and finally moved to the northwest to attend the UO. He's currently working on his thesis and has plans to graduate in June. When he's not reading up on translation theory he's watching his beloved Blazers, Rockies, and Canucks lose. More than anything else in the world, he loves watching Puddles, the UO mascot, caper around. If he had one wish it would be to have Puddles speak at his graduation.


Der Berliner/Othello got a doctorate in chemistry at UC Berkeley.  While in Berkeley he and his wife adopted two children and had one through traditional methods. He is currently a chemistry/physics teacher at a high school in central Washington, and has added a fourth child to the family.

Oz is...elusive, to say the least. I've tracked him as far as Rexburg, where his wife attends BYU-I, but there the trail goes cold.

Pa Grape lives with his wife and three kids in Colorado, where he has a private practice.

Petra graduated from BYU, moved to Indonesia for a year, then moved to California to start a PhD in Linguistics. She has since gotten married, traveled the world, and read a lot of books. She eventually decided to leave her PhD program, and is currently working for Facebook.

PEZkopf got married last June, and that is all I know about him.

Phoenix lives in Provo and works for BYU OIT.


Dear Ninja,

I wrote you a haiku:
My life now entails
Adventures! Philadelphia! 
Back to my studies
--Pilgrim/Hamilton/Eliot Rosewater/Pi

Portia of Belmont spent some time working as a tutor in SLC, and has recently re-enrolled at BYU.


Pseudoname lives in Las Vegas, where she has a full ride to the law school at UNLV. She reports that torts are stupid, and when she tried to explain what torts were to the Black Sheep, the Black Sheep felt stupid. Pseudoname has worn her Perry the Platypus shirt to law school at least once with zero shame.

Quandary is living in Washington and working as an actuary.

Saint Sebastienne

Saint Seb seems to be pretty much the same: still in Provo, still liberal, still trying to decrease suck in the world however she can, still loves food, still a crime-fighting space professor.

--Saint Seb

Saurus is a business analyst at an engineering firm. He is expecting his second child in February.

St. Jerome is married with four children, works in academia, and attended last year's Society of Biblical Literature conference with his wife.

steen has two little boys, a photography business, and started teaching at BYU this semester.

Tangerine served a mission, got married, and lives in Logan where her husband attends USU.

The Black Sheep

The Black Sheep lives in Salt Lake and is a children's case manager at an addiction treatment facility that also specializes in reuniting mothers with their children. She will probably finally go to grad school in the fall to pursue a  master's in social work. Her cat continues to look as depressed as ever.

The Cleaning Lady

The Cleaning Lady/Madame Mimm is expecting child #4 in a few months. She spends the bulk of her days caring for the 3 Prime/Cleaning kids, teaching piano lessons, occasionally freelancing in clothing design and editing, and of course, cleaning.

TheGoldenMean lives in Palo Alto and works in San Jose as a middle school teacher and cross country coach.

The Heartless Siren married Curious Physics Minor, moved to the west coast, and retired as our fearless proofreader last October when her lovely daughter was born.  

The Right Reverend Rusky Roo, after telling of his post-retirement exploits in BQ#66308, hasn't been heard from.

The Smurfs are in a comedy troupe in Provo.


My wife and I are living in Las Vegas. We have 4 year old twins, and 4 week old twins. It's a magical conglomeration of torture and joy. I have an insurance agency to pay the bills, and teach SAT & ACT prep classes to feed my soul. I'm also in the process of starting a tutoring agency. Sure miss The Board!


I married a cute hot grammarian hot girl. BAWB and Ambrosia can confirm.


Traviesa is married with two kids.

Uffish Thought recently completed her student teaching and became licensed to teach high school in the state of Utah. She remains the world's foremost expert on P.G. Wodehouse, throwing great parties, and rock climbing. No man will ever love her.

Unlucky Stuntman

Unlucky Stuntman fell into a vat of toxic waste last year, rendering her with superpowers and purple hair. That's actually a lie, minus the bit about her purple hair (which is glorious). Right now, she is on a medical leave of absence from the BYU Master of Social Work program, while she acts as caregiver to her husband who had a stroke in 2011. She is the proud momma to one human baby and one rat terrier.

Vampiress is divorced, lives in Georgia, and manages a 220-unit apartment community.

Waldorf and Sauron live in LA, where Sauron is working on his PhD. In his spare time Sauron enjoys growing his beard and collecting Star Wars figurines.


I'm still at UVU, though aviation didn't work out quite the way I had hoped. Let's just say it's on the back burner for now. I'm studying Entrepreneurship and loving it.

Wilhelmina Wafflewitz is married with two kids and a dog.


Whistler is now a videogame journalist living in Utah. She helps edit Nightmare Mode and studies Japanese kanji every day at Wanikani. She married Hobbes's brother in 2010.

Xanadu is a lawyer in Boise.

Yellow is doing iOS development and helping his wife raise two extraordinarily nerdy children.

I regret that I do not have any information as to the whereabouts or activities of the following writers: Aspen, Cartridge, Dragonboy, ECDC, Ghetto Superstar, Hermia, Holbein's Skull, Inconveniently Willful, Ineffable, Iris, Knut the Great, Krishna, Les Frogs, Motionite, MrPhil, Mynamyn, Paperback Writer, Queen Alice, Resilient, Sharky McAllister, She Who Must Not Be Named, Skippy DeLorean, Tao, The Captain, The Defenestrator, The Franchise, The Great Deflector, and The Meanest Flower.

-Genuine Article


Dear Ninja Lime,

Just so we are clear, at the time you asked this, No Dice was retired. Since Genuine Article heard back from everyone, we managed to coax him out of retirement. Rather than cut out his response, we thought it was a good opportunity to just coo at a picture of his son.

-The Editors

posted on 01/30/2013 10:36 a.m.
Also, I, Hermia, am living in Ogden, attending graduate school, and doing my best to instill an appreciation for literacy in seventh graders. I still read the Board regularly.

posted on 01/31/2013 9:24 a.m.
The Defenestrator married Castle in the Sky, graduated from BYU, and is a stay-at-home mom of two adorable children. They currently living in Virginia. She may occasionally still want to throw things out the window, but her yoga routine keeps her somewhat calm even when her children won't take naps!

~The Defenestrator's Mom