Dear El-ahrairah,

Xenolinguist.

National Geographic photographer. 

Veterinarian in a better-thought-out, less life-threatening Jurassic Park type situation. 

This question was so easy; another!

-Mico

Dear El-ahrairah,

Biographer. Or a teacher who doesn't have to do any grading or paperwork or bureaucracy or politics and can take days off whenever.

-Olympus

Dear Lord of the Rabbits:

I think it'd be really cool to write a book then to see it adapted into film. So, novelist-cum-screenwriter.

Alternatively, I always thought it'd be brilliant to tutor kids in areas like Beverly Hills where I could charge exorbitant rates.

Trophy wife is also underrated. I'd travel until I got bored with that, and then use the excess capital to go back to school. Then I'd try to get on the board of a symphony, or buy a newspaper, or something.

---Portia

Dear you,

World dictator. 

More realistically, I would love to be an ambassador or diplomat for the US to a country in Northern or Western Africa. Morocco, Libya, Tunisia, Senegal- you name it. I want to be able to use my French and learn Arabic and there's something about that part of the world that has always drawn me to it. My parents are terrified that I would willingly move to Libya and are desperately searching for some man to marry me to prevent this career move. 

-Concorde

Dear rabbit,

Special Forces soldier. 

+The Sentry+

Dear El-ahrairah,

Professional reader. Without any obligation to write reviews, or anything really. 

-Petra

Dear friend,

Elementary school music specialist, except only the kindergartners and the fourth graders ever come and nobody ever cries or wets their pants and I never have to plan lessons. And also my after-school choir is fantastic and nobody ever comes late to rehearsal.

Also, I would be a park ranger, river guide, or rock climbing instructor during the summers.

Peace,

-Stego Lily

Dear El-ahrairah,

Can someone pay me to take naps all day?  Because that sounds like my ideal job.

-Yog the Sleep-Deprived

Dear El-Ahrairah,

Get paid to travel, that's the dream. If that fails, the dream is to work for a international government body, NGO or the State Department. Yep, that's the dream. 

Sincerely,
The Soulful Ginger (who approves of your use of XKCD) 

Hi,

I'd be an astronaut.

-TMw/aM

Dear El-ahrairah,

Part-time college science lecturer (Immunology, Medical Microbiology, Anatomy Physiology), with a part-time gig as a science writer (Scientific American? New York Times Magazine?) and a new novel written and published every few years. Night job as professional kid raiser, and good dad.

- Rating Pending (who would also like to have a job that involved talking about cool things with cool people so he'll squeeze that in too)

Dear El-Ahrairah,

I'd like to lead engineers working on cool stuff; I think being the technical director of an advanced oil refinery with a lot of projects going on would be a blast. In that role, you get to have your finger in all the pies (and fun engineering-y pies they are) and manage the big picture while delegating all the details.

~Professor Kirke

Dear El-ahrairah,

Foster parent. Or therapist at a non-profit somewhere, but without all of the Medicaid paperwork.

- The Black Sheep

Dear El-Ahrairah,

My dream job would be creating and/or play testing video and board games, but the odds of that happening are pretty low. 

I still plan to play video games as a job or not, and I'm currently in the process of creating my own board game so there's that, but more realistically I plan to do something else that I enjoy (business, computer programming, nursing, who knows) that pays the bills so I can have my video and board game hobbies. 

-Watts

Dear lagomorph deity,

I'd enjoy transitioning from Linux system administration/support engineer work (my current vocation) to something in software development or penetration testing, but so far I haven't worked hard enough to make an opportunity for that happen.

If I were to be honest, though? I love listening to, learning about, and writing on music. I've been obnoxiously passionate about the hobby since I was a teenager. There's enough wonderful music out there to discover, in every genre, to spend a lifetime listening. I know a little bit about it, and I think I'd be good at music journalism. I'd love to get a part-time freelance gig covering concerts, writing album reviews, or doing interviews.

So, I figured, the best way to learn was to do. I created a Facebook community page where I write about one song every day. I write about the history of the song or band, or a musical aspect of the writing or recording process, or the creative impact it had. It's been a learning experience and it's immensely satisfying. It hasn't seen a lot of traffic yet, but I get a few hundred views a week and I haven't missed a day since I started. I'd like to hope that someday it'll turn into an opportunity for future growth.

At the expense of anonymity, feel free to check out and like A Great Song Each Day. I guarantee you'll discover a song you like.

-Cognoscente

Dear El-Ahrairah,

Part-time therapy dog handler, part-time dessert taste-tester, occasional community band trombonist, and full-time wealthy heiress.

- Eirene

Dear friend--

Mom, novelist, lightworker (bizarre though that may be--I didn't choose it, it chose me! Ha!). Cha-ching, totally already doing those things. Here's to living the dream! Life is great!

- Lexi Khan

Dear Leonard, 

Dream job that I'll never have? Archaeological photographer.

-Azriel

Dear El-ahrairah,

I don't have a dream job. I'd settle for my current job, minus my current health problems.

- Katya

Dear Oregano,

I was going to say a writer for Television Without Pity, but then it closed, so there goes that dream. I guess I'd take anything where I don't have to talk on the phone (the only truly bad aspect of my current job).

Or a warrior princess.

-Marguerite St. Just

Dear El-ahrairah,

Professional errander with a six figure salary.  Or seven figures.

I used to want to be the First Lady, but, eh.  I'm basically over that now.

- Lavish

Dear Rabbit god,

Ludotherapist. I believe that the right kind of game can help kids have fun learning and also help treat various maladies. Games like Memory and Simon Says have been shown to actually help children with ADHD learn to cope with their attention difficulties (it was in the last issue of Scientific American Mind; a similar idea is here). Some games incorporate biofeedback and I think the right setup could help people learn how to relax themselves voluntarily. And I think the right kind of cooperative game can help players feel closer to one another. As with most of my dream jobs though, once I actually had this job I would find ways to be disillusioned with it, but right now it sounds pretty cool.

-Whistler

Dear El-ahrairah,

I would want to be some sort of artist/performer.  I'd like to be a singer/songwriter, Broadway star, or (contemporary) artist.

Love from

Queen Alice

Dear friend,

Art therapist, illustrator, children's writer, and novelist. Got one of those down and a general game plan for the rest. If I had infinite time and means, I would also become a pilates instructor, science writer, and part-time stand-up comedian. Yes.

Most sincerely,

Waldorf (and Sauron)

Dear El-ahrairah,

Be independently wealthy so I could have a software development shop that makes cool stuff I think up.

- Beemer Boy

Dear El-ahrairah,

Statistical analyst for a professional sports franchise.

Quandary

Dear El-ahrairah,

I would have loved to be an editor or book reviewer, simply so people would pay me to read things for them. On the side, I'd dabble in running a bakery.

--Maven

Dear El-ahrairah,

I'd really like to do something environmental science-related and then I'd love to be a mommy and play in the mud with crazy kids!

-Squirrel