Silence is the virtue of fools. -Sir Francis Bacon
Question #79257 posted on 09/25/2014 3:30 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Have you ever been the OTHER woman/man whether intentionally or not?

-Natalie Abbott


Dear Natalie,

I am the second man, but I don't think that's what you're talking about.



Dear N/A,

So, this is kind of hard to do if you're 1) on the LDS dating scene and 2) trying to be a reasonably nice person. Sure, you could get suckered into being someone's second kissing partner when they're already in an exclusive relationship, but I don't think this happens too statistically often.

I've had two situations where I've kind of joked about being "the other woman" even though I really didn't qualify in either case, since no one was cheating on anyone. 

1. My friend Anne, Certainly was constantly telling me about this boy she liked. And then I met this guy who was in her ward. He was cute and funny and then it sloooowly dawned on me while he was walking me home that he was her crush. But unfortunately I said something that piqued his romantic interest. I could see it in his eyes (you know, that look), but I assumed my lovely friend Anne still had a fighting chance since he didn't even ask for my number and we made no plans to see each other again. He went straight home and texted Anne asking for my number. We then (me and the dude) proceeded to have a three-week semi-we're-kind-of-but-not-really-dating experience and then he decided he didn't like me anyway because of my political views. The entire time I was freaking out about man-stealing and my friendship with Anne and it turns out we're much better friends because of that whole thing.

2. "The world doesn't condone what we are doing..." he whispered passionately mid-doorstep scene. I semi-gracefully dodged an incoming kiss. Yeah... buddy, it's called non-exclusively dating, and the world actually condones it and life isn't as exciting as it is in your dramatic little head. Literally, he was going on dates with two different girls (one of whom was me) and we both knew about each other and that he would pick eventually. I'm really glad he picked the other girl, because it saved me the trouble of having to reject his dramatic self.

Dating is hilarious. Especially at BYU.