If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone. –Jack Handey
Question #80342 posted on 12/20/2014 12:08 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Do any of you know how to speak dog? I'd like to be able to chat with my dog sometimes, when there is no one else around to talk to.

-Miss Frazzled, who does love to talk to people to.


Dear artichoke dip,

Easy. There's plenty of online resources for dog body language. Alternatively, speak verbally to your dog and ascribe him greater intelligence and humanity than he probably possesses, but rest assured it's greater than your average cat.

--Ardilla Feroz


Dear Miss Frazzled,

No, but I can speak whale.