I guess the atmosphere that I've tried to create here is that I'm a friend first and a boss second, and probably an entertainer third. -Michael Scott, The Office
Question #81835 posted on 03/31/2015 11:45 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I need a good bedtime story, but, luckily, not for at least 100 hours. Will you please tell me about the outlandish adventures of Investigator Werf? The stories can be in any genre.

-Sleepy

A:

Dear Sleepster,

Gather 'round, board readers, and I'll tell you a true tale
About Investigator Werf and his tragic epic fail

He was once a student, inquisitive in nature
Studying taxonomy, obsessed with nomenclature

He felt a mighty rumbling underneath the campus turf
"Aha!", he said triumphantly, "a job for Mr. Werf!"

For hours he dug out piles of dirt, thinking thoughts not humble
Of fame he'd get for classifying whatever made that rumble

Late at night, his shovel broke right through a tunnel ceiling
Which gave Investigator Werf an exhilirating feeling

With thoughts of glory in his head, he dropped into the hole
And felt his way along the path that seemed as black as coal

It wasn't long before her felt that now familiar rumbling
And as it neared, the violent tremors nearly sent him tumbling

Then just as fast as it had started, the awful shaking waned
Poor Investigator Werf could hardly keep his heart constrained

With trembling hands he grabbed his phone and shone its feeble light
And what he saw would even give the bravest man a fright

Paralyzed by mortal dread, he could only squirm
As he was ripped to tiny shreds by the fearsome tunnel worm

Few there be who know this tale, of why the ground shakes so
But be ye warned and never tempt that nameless beast below

-=Optimus Prime=-