"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death." - Harold Wilson
Question #81915 posted on 04/03/2015 8:44 a.m.
Q:

Dear CATS and 100 Typing Monkeys,

Let's have a debate, shall we? Who's the better species: cats or monkeys?

-Shanimal

A:

Dear Shanimal,

We thought you asked for a debate. What you have set up is a linguistic bludgeoning.

The superiority of monkeys is multi-fold and infinite.

Evidence the first: We are clearly more intelligent, as evidenced by the coherency of our thoughts which stand in stark contrast with the gibberish spouted by CATS. 

Evidence the second: CATS is incapable of...anything really.

Evidence the third: We can climb trees with ease. CATS is clearly jealous.

Evidence the fourth: We are so fascinating we are kept as subjects of study.

Evidence the fifth: We invite you to consider the...sentences...if that is the proper descriptor, that CATS has composed below. Yes, this is similar to Evidence the first which has already been entered into the record, but CATS is providing such self-condemning evidence it was worth entering twice.

We could continue ad nauseum with this topic, but it is unnecessary. 

-100 Typing Monkeys

A:

How are you Shanimal!!

Do not listening to a monkeys. It can only CATS.

But, remember! It is not a cats. It has a CATS. There will not purr, or mewl, or slarp a milk. But it can set up you the bomb, or make your time, or on the way to destruction.

You know what you doing, Shanimal. All a monkeys can is typing. But, a CATS can move ZIG. It can belong a base. It can for great justice. Can a monkeys? Can a cats? Can it anything?

Do not forgetting this. It is all destroy. If it can, it will, but. Not a monkeys.

Ha Ha Ha Ha...

-CATS

A:

Dear CATS,

You are the dribble that falls from the lips of comatose sloths vacantly staring into mud puddles.

-100 Typing Monkeys

A:

How are you 100 Typing Monkeys!!

What you say? It cannot a sloth! It cannot even a lips, or a dribble. It is a MAJESTERY, blinking proudly in the bask of a sun.

Can it remember that monkings are typewriters with chains? It is the blurst of times. It is not a brain. It hits randomly, and hopes that it will a word.

All the brains are belong to us. It cannot pretend. It can only submit to great justice. It is wisdom, it has skill, and it can a handsome. Many more than a monkeys. With lice!!

Ha Ha Ha Ha...

-CATS