Dear watcher,

If you're asking this question for the reason I think you are, if you think you know what I'm talking about, email me at ardilla(dot)feroz(at)theboard(dot)byu(dot)edu and let's talk. We should be friends.

Dear everyone else,

If I am ever pulled over for speeding, I feel it may be advantageous to tell the officer I'm getting to the Bering Sea as fast as possible to save my grandmother who got into some trouble with a narwhal-poaching crime-syndicate after a round of bingo gone horribly wrong, I really should be going now if I want to rappel from the rafters at the most opportune moment so I can exact revenge and steer, er, steal their birthday stuff.

Suerte,

--Ardilla Feroz