Dear 100 Hour Board,
When was the last time you were scared?
Dear That's Frightening,
Two days ago, I was downstairs on the computer looking at the Board and my two boys, ages 4 and 2, were upstairs playing. I heard a huge crashing sound and then silence. The post-fall crying never scares me because if they're crying I know they're fine, but the post-fall silence sends a jolt of fear through me. I calmly called out their names and they both answered back, so I asked them what happened. Turns out they had simply pushed over their toddler-sized table and it had a few cars and trucks on it that fell to the floor. No big deal.
I might seriously be cursing myself here (knock on wood!) but three kids, ages 2, 4 and 6, and we have yet to make an ER trip.
Living on my own means that when I start the dishwasher at night I sometimes think that someone's breaking into my apartment.
On Tuesday, when I realized my wallet had been stolen.
Dear That's ~
A few months ago Yellow 2.0 legitimately choked on some cereal. He had the tiniest little wheeze, so he was breathing, but just barely, and not enough to sustain life long. I flipped him upside down and was thumping his back and trying to remember what else I was supposed to do for choking children, but it wasn't coming up. Then I realized my worst fear: one of my children was in severe danger, and I had left my phone somewhere else. I had a terrifying split second decision to make: should I leave him alone so I could run to get my phone faster, or take him with and slow myself down? I took him with, tilted down on my arm the whole time, then called 911. As the phone started to ring, he coughed out the still completely dry Chex (I have no idea how it was so dry. Boggles my mind). Before the first ring even finished I hung up, then hugged and rocked him and cried and cried and cried.
I decided I couldn't deal with the emotion alone, so I texted Yellow (which was very difficult as my fingers were shaking) and asked him to please come home. Now. I needed him. I pulled myself together a little before he got home, helped along by the fact that Yellow 2.0 had decided he was fine, hopped up, and started happily playing. But as soon as he walked in the door I hugged him and cried and cried some more. Even writing this I am tearing up, because I can still feel that utter terror at the realization that my baby couldn't breathe and there was nothing I could do to help him except call 911 and pray.
~ Dragon Lady
I have a less serious response. Last night, just before bed I went to make sure the doors were locked and the lights were off. As I did this I was looking down at my cell phone because I like to ruin my sleep cycles.
Once all the lights in the house were off, I headed back to my bedroom. I glanced up and saw a ghostly face two feet away from me and it FREAKED ME OUT!
Heart pounding, inarticulate sound escaping my mouth, jumping backwards, the whole bit.
That's when I realized it was just my reflection in the mirror, but my face was lit from below by the glow of my phone's screen. And yes, as I'm typing this, I am seeing all the jokes and insults about me being scared by my own appearance. I see the options, but I'm going to choose not to use them and I invite you to do the same. My face was way creepier than normal because of that lighting.
So there you go.
As a special bonus, if you think you would like another embarrassing story about me being petrified with fear and behaving stupidly, I'll just leave this link to a story about my first kiss right here.
A couple weeks ago, I woke up from a nap and couldn't move or control my body at all for several seconds. It was my first experience with sleep paralysis, and it was honestly terrifying for the five disconcerting seconds that it lasted.
Last time I was seriously scared? March 28, 2016 when my grandparents, husband, and I accidentally went to Canada (without passports). My whole body was trembling because I was pretty sure my husband was not going to be able to return to the States with me. Good news: Canadians are actually nice, and US Border Patrol loves to help Their Own. (P.S. Officer Casule, if you ever read this, thank you.)
Yesterday, in fact. I'm terrified of snakes. I hate them. A lot.
I was playing golf last night and hit a stray shot into some tall grass around a water hazard. As I searched for my ball, I happened across something long, black, and slithery. Needless to say, I cut my losses with that ball and walked briskly away (or possibly ran screaming like a little girl). If in the future I ever hit a ball near that same spot on the course, I'm just going to let it go since, man, it's gone.
I sure hope this helps. Please don't hate me.
A few days ago G.I.R.L. and I were taking a walk around the backyard, you know, picking up sticks, checking on the blackberry bushes, etc. etc. Then I looked down and saw a snake all coiled up in the grass. I jumped, causing G.I.R.L. to run into me and fall over...right on top of the snake! All I could do was yell "Get up, get up, get up!" She eventually stood up and the snake slithered off into the bushes. Gaah! I. Hate. Snakes.
So, a left ventricular assist device is a mechanical pump that can be implanted into someone's chest to provide extra pumping action when they have very severe heart failure and their own hearts cannot pump enough blood. I was the last resident in the Cardiovascular ICU a few nights ago and the cardiology fellow and attending were off the floor taking care of other issues. A nurse called me over because this patient's LVAD started alarming, saying there was NO flow through the pump. And his blood pressure was starting to drop...
Fortunately, that's about when the fellow happened to walk back into the unit and they fixed the settings before anyone died. Still, I did not exactly feel equipped to deal with the whole maybe-imminent death thing!
Dear That's frightening,
A couple of days ago we had thunder so strong that it shook our whole house. I used to love thunderstorms, but that's because until we moved here I'd never lived anywhere that had tornadoes. Now, every time we have a thunderstorm, I'm convinced that there are tornadoes hiding in the thunderstorm and I'm not going to have enough warning to get somewhere safe. I'm probably just overly nervous about it, but seriously, Texas thunderstorms can be pretty intense.
This is very lame. It's also probably not the last time I felt scared, but it was the first thing that came to mind:
When I got home from my mission and went back to school, I borrowed my sister's former MacBook Pro (her work provided her with a new one). Using my old laptop was out of the question, as I had originally purchased it when I was in seventh grade.
Anywho, one day while I was doing my laundry I was randomly scrolling through all of the apps on the MacBook and found a game called Gone Home. Now, Gone Home is not a horror game. It is not even supposed to be a scary game. It's actually a pretty sparse game overall; all you do is walk around a house and open doors and examine objects (all that being said, it is a very good game because of its storytelling. You should play it). Nevertheless, playing Gone Home frequently scared the jeepers out of me. See, the house you are walking around is dark, and it is rainy outside. Walking around inside of it felt like I was walking around a real house like that, and I kept thinking something was going to jump out at me. Nothing ever did, but I still freaked out whenever it took me more than two seconds to find a light switch when I entered a new room.