That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest. - Henry David Thoreau
Question #87531 posted on 08/04/2016 8:21 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Having grown up moving around a lot and living all over the country, I've been able to pick up on the unique driving habits of each state/region. I like to give quirky names to each state, but I need help with Utah. One of the unique driving habits I've noticed here in Utah is yielding a left turn. In my 6.5 nearly uninterrupted years living here (so I have plenty of experience to back this statement up), while the light is green, few cars successfully turn left, even if there is no oncoming traffic. However, once the light turns red, anywhere between 3 and 7 cars will illegally turn almost every time. In fact, most of the time I see cars *not* turn left on a red light is when there are no cars intending to turn left period. I've thought of two names for this phenomenon:
1) The Utah congo line
2) The Utah soul train
(I thought of congo line and soul train because they accurately describe the line/train of the half-dozen cars that turn left on red.)
Which do you think is better, and why? Also, if you can think of a better name, I'm all ears... well, eyes, since I'll be reading your answers.

P.S. I've noticed that Utahns get weirdly defensive when I mention the unique driving habits here. I'm an equal opportunity teaser, and every state I've lived in has unique driving habits, so to any Utahns whose eyes come across this question, please don't feel offended by it.

-No, I'm not from a military family.

A:

Dear non-military brat,

No, no, no, don't apologize.  Utahns should be ashamed.

You people suck at driving.  Feel free to take all the offense you want from that.

Personally, I would go for something more spicy, like "the Red Light Train of Death," or maybe "The Idiotic Traffic Mambo."  But I like to add a little flair in my insults.

-April Ludgate

A:

Dear you,

I agree with April. Utahns seriously drive like they have way too much confidence in the Plan of Salvation and their own personal calling and election. It's absolutely terrible and unlike every other place where I've experienced bad drivers, here there is no rhyme, reason, or logic to the terrible driving. It's awful.

Sincerely,

~Dr. Occam

A:

Dear Equal-Opportunity,

All right. Everybody needs to take it easy. We Utah drivers aren't actually that bad. Also all you out-of-staters need to stop driving so slow in the passing lane. That being said, I will admit that you have a point on the whole turning left thing. Personally, I like "Soul Train."

-The Skipper, who only jumps on the Soul Train when the light is timed really poorly