"My flabber was completely gasted." - Rating Pending
Question #8887 posted on 10/16/2004 4:08 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

If one lights a three-toed sloth on fire, will it writhe around on the ground really slowly?

- FHE dad out of ideas

A: Dear Dad,

I love this question, and was tempted to try it out, except that I am far too afraid of sloths.

The answer, though, is no, it would writhe around quickly, and probably drop into the Amazon. Sloths are capable of quick movement, but just don't employ it often. Have you ever seen one in the water? They're wicked quick, and then they come out looking like wet logs with scary "The Village" fingernails. Gosh, I loathe them. I heard that if a sloth grabs onto your arm, you have to cut the sloth off to be free.

A: Dear FHE,

I think it would roll around the way a ROUS lit on fire would.

- Piquant