"I'm not a chicken. I'm just really hesitant." -Frasier Crane
Question #89059 posted on 03/03/2017 10:40 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Let's suppose the tenants of a particular house or apartment in Provo leave all their interior and exterior doors unlocked, 24/7. Let's suppose they keep a fairly average schedule of time spent at home vs. time spent running errands, going to work/school, and out-of-town trips.

How long, by your opinions and calculations and estimations, would it take for someone to casually walk in and "burgle" them of any valuables if:
-this dwelling is located on the east side of Freedom Blvd/"the student side"?
-this dwelling is located on the west side of Freedom Blvd/"the resident side"?
-this dwelling is on-campus student housing?

Let us also suppose that all dwellings are located on the ground floor for ease of burglaring access.

-here to burgle your turts

A:

Dear you,

I think the biggest factor in this scenario would be the number of people living in the residence, coupled with a measure of how closely matched their schedules are. For instance, an apartment with six roommates, all with vastly different school and work schedules, would be almost impossible to burgle, because there could be at least one of them at home and awake at any given time. A married couple that works or goes to school at the same time so they can spend the evenings together would be a much easier target. Either way, once you've figured out what time no one is home, it shouldn't take more than 15-20 minutes to find something valuable and make off with it.

-The Entomophagist is concerned at the tone of this question and the intentions that it implies