If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone. –Jack Handey
Question #89154 posted on 03/16/2017 3:06 a.m.

Dear Anathema,

Exactly how did you come to befriend a black forest cake?

- C.C.


Dear BBC,

Well, it all started when Black Forest Cake moved into my ward. I was only in Primary, and she was already in Young Women's, so we didn't have much interaction at first. A couple of years passed, and an amiably awkward relationship sprang up between us, largely constituting of me making really weird faces at her from across the ward temple day pizza. We still weren't the best of friends yet, however. At school, she had her group of friends (Key Lime Pie and Cherries, if you must know), and I had mine (Pink Bubblegum and her entourage).

Then one day she graduated high school, as all good Black Forest Cakes do. It was around this time that we really started becoming better friends. (However, I was still spending most of my time with Pink Bubblegum.) By the end of Summer, Black Forest Cake ended up going to Idaho for college, leaving me in Salt Lake to finish up high school. 

Two years went by before I joined Black Forest Cake in her happy state of high school graduatecy. At this point, both of us had grown and matured much since our initial meeting. Thus when Black Forest Cake returned to Salt Lake for the summer, we finally become close friends.

To this day, we remain the bestest of friends (luckily she doesn't mind too much when I eat pieces of other black forest cakes), able to talk with each other about anything from the etymology of words to theology to philosophy to history to organic chemistry to mathematics to pine trees to the Board to possibly homicidal gardeners. She really is the best.