"God sometimes does His work with gentle drizzle, not storms. Drip. Drip. Drip." - John Newton (Amazing Grace)
Question #89321 posted on 04/08/2017 12:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What criteria does someone have to meet to be your friend on Facebook? Do you ever clean out your friend list? If so, how often, and based on what criteria?

-News Feed Overload

A:

Dear Memes,

When I was in high school, I ran for an office in student government. As part of my campaign, I made a Facebook group, and friended lots of people in my class. As soon as I graduated high school, though, a lot of those friends mysteriously disappeared from my friend list... Besides that, I haven't ever really cleaned out my friend list.

Normally, my criteria for Facebook friends is if I've met them in person. I have made exceptions in the instance of friending future roommates (this was only my freshman year), and friending other Board writers before I've met them in person.

~Anathema

A:

Dear person,

If I know someone I'll usually add them. Then if I forget who someone is and I see them on my newsfeed, I prune them.

-Sheebs

A:

Dear you,

My current criterion for Facebook friends is that they added me more than four months ago. There's really only a couple exceptions to that rule.

I haven't cleaned out my friend's list in awhile. Really, part of why I joined the Board was so I wouldn't have to look at Facebook as often.

-Kirito

A:

Dear friend,

Usually, it goes a little something like this:

a) I know them in real life and have positive feelings towards them.

b) They, too, know me in real life and think I'm just swell.

c) They must be able to calculate the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow, while adjusting for factors such as whether it is an African or European swallow. I give them two chances, but after the third, they can just forget it. I also check up on this annually, whenever that "friend anniversary" thing pops up, to keep them on their toes.

The third one is the key. I have like three friends on Facebook now and they're all nerds.

-Van Goff is serious all of the time