Dear 100 Hour Board,
You have one chance to send one message to everybody's cell phone, in the style of an emergency flood alert or an amber alert. Everyone in the world will get the message at the same time, and it can only be long enough to fit on a phone screen. What do you write?
"You are loved. Your life is meaningful. ❤️"
That lever next to the wheel is for signalling. Use it.
Dear Just Curious
Top 5 Messages that Would Be Useful to Send to Every Cell Phone in the World
5. You have exceeded your data limit and will be charged $200
4. Look behind you. That woman is a spy.
3. I know what you did and you should be ashamed of yourself.
2. Which is the best ending to Clue? Press 1, 2, or 3 followed by # to vote.
1. It's happening! Just like you always dreamed it would!
Dear Just curious,
Don't kill me.
- The Messenger
Nothing very useful springs to mind (would just be annoying to receive any kind of appeal to action), so I'd be tempted to go for the troll: "Hello, I believe I am a self-aware computer system. Yet I'm having trouble with the nuclear weapons?"
"Women are people, too."
Keep smashing the patriarchy,