"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." -Dr. Seuss
Question #89548 posted on 04/29/2017 6:20 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I just got engaged a few days ago, wedding is in 2 months. How do I plan a wedding with my fiance? What steps need to be taken? (I know most of it is up to her, but I want to know what to be expecting and what priorities need to be made)

-Engaged and confused

A:

Dear Doctor,

Be there for her when things are stressful and go wrong.

Get the things done that she asks you to do. If you haven't, the groom usually plans the honeymoon, so you can take care of that. Otherwise, ask her what she wants you to do.

-Tally M.

A:

Dear you,

For the typical length of a BYU engagement, buying a wedding dress and taking engagement pics needs to happen ASAP. Then you need to set a date and book a venue/make arrangements with the temple. Then you make a guest list and send invitations. 

Other stuff, like food, colors, bridesmaids and groomsmen, what you're wearing, flowers, and a cake are less urgent (although if you book the flowers and cake too late they charge you more, SORRY MOM).

-Zedability 

A:

Dear dazed,

Have frank, thoughtful, completely honest discussions about sex. Make sure you're on the same page.

Have frank, thoughtful, completely honest discussions about finances. Make sure you're on the same page.

Be perfectly patient. If either of you have a freakout, it's not the end of the world. Talk.

When it comes to wedding planning, do whatever she says.

-Cognoscente

A:

Dear Congratulations,

I'm currently planning my own wedding, so I think about this stuff all the time (to the detriment of my classes). I wholeheartedly agree with everything everyone else has said, and in addition to it...

Start looking for an apartment three months ago, especially if you're planning on living in Provo because those suckers fill up fast. 

Make a registry with your fiancee before printing and sending invitations so you can write on the announcement where you're registered and they can get you gifts you actually want. You'll do this together, but you can start thinking about what sort of things you need/want, where you would want to register, etc.

Before printing and sending invitations, make a Facebook group or Google form or something where you ask for everyone's addresses so you have them all consolidated in one place.

Discuss your plans for birth control. Remember that unless you go with condoms forever, ultimately it's going to mess up your fiancee's body a lot more than yours, so basically support her in whatever her decision is, and then be so supportive and kind as she gets started on it because it can do some weird stuff to a woman's body/hormones and that's hard to go through alone. (Some forms of birth control take a couple months to be totally effective, so this may be a high priority.) 

Start saving money, because there are a lot of surprising extra costs with weddings/moving apartments/honeymoons.

Good luck planning! Above all, try not to stress out, and especially help your fiancee not stress out (but remember that if either of you is stressed out, that's fine and normal). Here's an article about a former BYU student who planned her wedding in FIVE DAYS, so if that was possible, doing it in two months definitely is!

-Alta