My kisses are sort of limited to...well, female human things. -Claudio
Question #89588 posted on 04/30/2017 11:02 p.m.

Dear fellow writers of things,

What is a lesser-known answer you wrote that perhaps never received the accolades or attention it deserved? Would you please share it with us before you go?

--Ardilla Feroz, seeker of hidden gems


Dear Doctor,

I really don't have time to have read all 75 pages of my answers, so I'll just say that I think my joke answer on Board Question #86211 is underappreciated.

-Tally M.


Hello Kitty,

I feel like the Word of the Board was underappreciated. My swan song with the format, in particular, was a friggin' chiasmus and I don't know if anyone noticed.


P.S. I was not The Other Tishbite, for anyone curious.


Dear ferocious squirrel:

Since I wrote in the Board 1.0 era, there were no thumbs. Just think, we used to do this for the money and fame!

My skiing/snowboarding recommendations in Board Question #41644 hold up. Consider Snowbird bumped up. 
I'm not sure I even remember what a gamma function is. Board Question #41581 proves I was once good at math.
Still proud of my Honor Code Opus. Read it, love it, live it in Board Question #41277.

But I want to check in on my bucket list from Board Question #41919. Don't remember making this at all. Checked off items in bold. Items that have fallen off the list stricken from the record.

Go to Scotland
Get married
Finish off Shakespeare's and Austen's complete works, since I'm close already
Work on family history
Go to a roller coaster park that is better than Lagoon
Go to an outdoor summer concert
Be trilingual
Read the entire Bible (New Testament: check)
Go real rock climbing (not on a climbing wall) again
Get my undergraduate degree
Get another degree after that
Have children
Have a calling in Primary
Live in a state where 100 degree-weather is a rarity
Kiss in cool places, like behind a waterfall or in the Colosseum or something
Have European gelato again
Answer 1000 Board questions
Get proposed to in a non-cheesy way 
Knit something worth wearing
Get a car
Decorate a house with inspiration from design magazines
Go to my kids' recitals, games, and graduations
Have fruit trees and eat fresh fruit
Go on a mission
Overcome my fears while driving
Go ice skating on a pond, and not fall through the ice
Practice the piano consistently 
Choreograph and teach a dance
Have a killer birthday party, and actually have people show up and have a good time
Sing in choir again
Go to Nauvoo with someone who wouldn't think it was weird that I was at least as interested in the sites of French Utopian followers of Cabet as I was at the Church History parts
Go to a Christmas midnight mass
Go to a Broadway musical
Be in a musical, myself
Have a fireplace and snuggle in front of it with warm apple cider, listening to an album that has yet to be made
Do pro bono service
Donate large amounts of money anonymously
Live to see 2050
Make flower arrangements from flowers I picked out myself
Get a peacoat
Go swing dancing when I'm old and manage to be completely classy
Have people come to my funeral, and there not to be unspoken awkwardness about dirt on me, but rather, happy memories

That was intense. Ping me in ten more years to see if anything else fell off or came back on. 



Dear fierce one,

I still think Board Question #74162 deserves a lot more than nine thumbs. Even if I did use a lot more words than necessary to get my point across.



Dear R. Dillon,

I mean *gestures at the Archives button* it's all good.

- Rating Pending (who knows it got plenty of love, but considers this Police Beat compilation from a previous alumni week an act of public service)


Dear Seeker,

I have been gone from The Board for so long, I have forgotten a number of my most clever responses. Also, as Board editor, I wrote tons of throw away responses when none of the writers came through (this was when answers had to by typed up, e-mailed, and printed. Because I had the e-mails, I was able to get a number of pre-online questions onto the online board). So there's tons of work I'm not particularly proud of, though it came in within the 100 Hour mark, as advertised.

As I reflected on things that stuck with me, I remembered Ambrosia's work on question 4947.

The most impressive work I saw (that I don't think became an answer) was Katya the Physic Chick's analysis of which aliases belonged to the same writer. The behind the scenes consternation was fascinating. Of course she had to become a Board Writer after that. What really amused me, though, was that her analysis was based off a faulty assumption that was only true for a short time because of technical board issues. She assumed that writers would not respond to the same question twice, once with a respectful reply using their respectful alias (a "Pa Grape" type response) and then again with a snarky reply using their snarky alias (a "CGNU Grad" type response). Writers have always been willing to do this, they just couldn't during a certain phase of Board overhaul. As they say, even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

I actually wrote a fair amount of The Board History. That was fun to write. I still enjoy reading it.

Your question inspired me to skim through my answers in the archives, and I was impressed by what I wrote in I don't think my answer there needs accolades (though you are more than welcome to give them), but I had forgotten all about balloon animal syndrome, and I plan on being on the lookout for it in my life now. Interestingly, a search revealed that balloon animal syndrome was referenced multiple times over years, with the last reference being in 2009, five years after Q. 3369 was answered. I was surprised to learn that answer had such a legacy. And now it has been mentioned again, in 2017, a full 13 years later.

Thanks for sending me down memory lane a bit.

Der Berliner


Dear Ardilla, 

Well, this is fun; reading back through my old answers, I not only don't remember answering some of these questions, I don't even remember the stories I'm telling about myself. Memory is weird. 

Of the Board answer highlights I do remember, the Petra/Optimistic dating saga got plenty of accolades, but my series of phone calls about why hotels have ice machines (Board Question #26588) still makes me laugh.  

And now I'm trolling through the archives and stumbling on some random puns, such as in Board Question #23291; "Tom Waits for no man" makes me laugh all over again. 

I enjoyed the question in Board Question #16809 so much that I answered it twice, once as Petra and once as Arjuna. 

I also fondly remember researching and writing the answer to Board Question #21859 late one night when I definitely should have been studying instead. 

And now I'm staying up way too late to read my own answers in the archives, which is just a little weird so I'm going to quit there. Old habits die hard, I guess. 



Dear AF,

I happen to think some of my early answers as the snake whisperer (like BQ#58361 and BQ#58299) were pretty solid in terms of the advice I gave. When I started writing I used the snake whisperer and Genuine Article fairly interchangeably, but I was somewhat too snarky as TSW and readers assumed it was a gimmicky secondary alias. Gimgimno even went so far as to assure a reader I had upset that TSW would always be trying to get their goat, so I let TSW become a throwaway 'nym even though I wrote some very thoughtful answers as TSW in the beginning.

I took it upon myself to track down the title of a play for BQ#58482 despite being on vacation in a little log cabin with touchy wifi in Idaho. I didn't have much to go on, and as a probational writer my omniscience wasn't in full effect yet. I spent days googling the most absurd combinations of the plot details I'd been given and eventually I found it, but nobody ever knew the amount of leg work it took. And it got zero votes because it was before 5.0 went into effect. (Also because it was an unimpressive one-sentence answer.) There's so little appreciation for what Board writers (and editors, and proofers) do behind the scenes.

I really liked the sleep quiz I wrote in BQ#65008, but it kills me that there's a typo in it.

I just came across BQ#64824 where I threatened to expose everyone's aliases, and what can I say? I make myself laugh. 

Some of my answers got plenty of thumbs up, so they weren't necessarily underappreciated, but it's always nice to know that they're appreciated for the same reason you appreciate them. Rating Pending once told me how much he laughed about the restaurant line I snuck into BQ#69250, and that just made my year.

And basically any answer I linked to in my retirement question (BQ#75946) is worth a read, because, well, I wrote it, and I am a comedic genius

-Genuine Article


Dear Ardilla,

Board Question #69777

Board Question #69866

Board Question #72099

Board Question #74424

Y'all need to appreciate me more. I am hilarious.

-->Captain Obvious