"In my defense... I saw 'Bring It On'..." -Anonymous Board Writer
Question #89967 posted on 06/25/2017 1:08 a.m.

Dear Frere Rubik,

Will you tell me the joke about liking long walks along the Provo Beach Resort?

-A fan


Dear Fan,

In the time before time in days of yore (by which I mean late 2015), my bio page looked like this and read like this:

Frère Rubik is a tall, fairly nerdy writer from Utah who should really ask more girls out on dates. He enjoys reading, writing, candle-lit meals and long walks along the Provo Beach Resort. When not working on the Board, he is probably randomly surfing the web, playing Super Smash Bros. with his roommates, or otherwise avoiding his Physics homework. He is a fan of lame puns, self-deprecating humor, and semicolons, although he probably doesn't use any of them appropriately. He also finds it weird to keep referring to himself in the third person, but he can't stop now. 

As you can see, the "Provo Beach Resort" joke here is a riff on the traditional romantic ad line about liking "long walks along the beach" (documented here by the BBC and here by the XKCD). I think I came up with it after one day when I made my (Californian) friend Sonya quite annoyed when I insisted that the Provo Beach Resort was basically the same as an actual beach (for those of you unfamiliar with the PBR, these pictures should help you see that, while the PBR may be a swell place, it is definitely not a beach). The thought of taking a long, pensive, soul-searching walk around the Provo Beach Resort cracked me up, and I wanted to use it somehow. When no other opportunity presented itself, I wrote the joke into my Board bio.

Flash forward to earlier this year, and I decided I wanted to change up my Board bio. Part of me wanted to keep the line about the Provo Beach Resort, but another part of me just wanted to start over. Then, I had the idea to say that I was keeping the line about the PBR while actually deleting it from the bio. This also struck me as being hilarious, so I put it in the new bio. 

And now I've explained everything so thoroughly that neither joke seems as funny as it once did. Take it away, E.B. White:

Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.

-Frère Rubik