Silence is the virtue of fools. -Sir Francis Bacon
Question #89987 posted on 06/29/2017 11:32 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Guys, how would you feel about dating a girl 4 years older than you? Is there an age cap?

Girls, how young is a guy too young? As women I feel like most wouldn't have a problem with older men but might watch how young they are, and I'm kinda curious.

Much obliged,

-The 25 year old gal


Dear 25-year-old gal,

I feel the need to say something here, because I was a complete idiot the last time someone asked me about this. That Rubik had no real dating experience to speak of. The Rubik currently writing has a little bit more, and so: I really don't think age is a big deal when dating people. I think what you should focus on is finding someone you feel comfortable with and whom you like and that feels similarly toward you. I could see how large gaps in age might make such a possibility a little more rare, but I don't think they make it impossible. Right now a girl I know is dating a guy who's about ten years her senior. Now, when she started, those of us who knew her were a little bit wary. Some eyebrows were raised. But, ultimately, with time we saw how happy they were together, and now it doesn't even seem like a big deal. Granted, there seems to be a societal difference between older men dating younger women and older women dating younger men, but that's one of those norms that I think is kind of silly and doesn't have much of a logical founding.

In conclusion: if you like a younger fella or he likes you, I'd say you should be willing to at least give things a shot.

-Frère Rubik


Dear 25yo,

On Mutual, my upper limit is 26 (2 years older than me), but if I met a girl in person and she seemed cool, then I don't think being 28 wouldn't be a problem.

-The Entomophagist


Dear Gal,

I wouldn't have more of a problem dating a younger man than an older one, provided there wasn't a significant difference in maturity or situation in life.




Dear you,

I only date men who are exactly three days younger than me.

Happy Birthday, Man, Certainly!

~Anne, Certainly


Dear yosefa,

I much prefer dating older guys, but that might be because I'm relatively young and it doesn't take that much distance to get to pre-mission age, which feels uncomfortable*. 

But in general for me it's more about maturity than age. And that can be determined by age, but it also depends a lot on experience and perspective. In general, I'm trying to be less picky about who I date (in terms of looks and age), but It's a process. 

I also feel like age matters less the older you get. When you think about it, a 7th grader dating a high school junior feels a little messed up. But a 24-year-old dating a 28-year-old is not a big deal at all. As Anathema put it in a flagette, "it's more about whether you're in comparable developmental stages as one another."

Which is all to say that if you've put this much thought into it and it still feels right, you should go for it. 

Take care,

-Auto Surf

*Not to say that missions are a cure-all for immaturity (because missionaries can be just as dumb as high school students), or that I only want to date RMs (because no). Again, it's just perspective and experience.