Dear 100 Hour Board,
I'm 20 and have never been in a serious relationship or even kissed. Is something wrong with me?
-My Name Here
No, it's more common than you would think. My first kiss was when I was 17 but that experience was fleeting. Then I didn't have another serious relationship or kiss another girl until I met my wife at 24.
Don't worry, you're pretty normal.
No no no no no no no no no
no no no no no no no no no
you are definitely fine
fine fine fine fine fine fine
no no no no no no no no no no
- The Earl of Limerick
Dear Roaring '20s,
Well, I hope not, because I'm 20, have never been in a serious relationship, and have never kissed (or been kissed by) anyone. In fact, I haven't even gone on as many as three dates with the same person. The most I've ever been on was two, and the two dates were separated by about 6 months.
I know that dating can be frustrating, but just because you're not seeing success yet doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. This is because there are more factors at play than you; how busy you are, how busy potential dates are, current interest levels, other pressing life events, etc. If there was a certain level of "goodness" or "rightness" with a person that would automatically ensure them dating success, I think there would be a lot fewer people in YSA wards.
If there is, there's something even more wrong with me, because I'm 24 and also haven't ever gone on more than three dates with the same person or kissed anyone.
Don't sweat it.
Dear Your Name There,
People make way too big a deal about kissing. Kissing is definitely nice, but it's not a life-altering step you take. You're not going to see yourself differently just because you kissed a boy, nor will kissing change the way other people see you. So don't worry about it--it will happen when it happens.
Me at 20: Never kissed, never in a serious relationship.
Me at 25: Married, approaching 2 year anniversary, kiss husband frequently.
When I was 20, I was a missionary giving trainings on how to "Lock Your Heart" in Zone Meetings even though I'd only ever casually dated pre-mission and had definitely never come close to kissing anyone.
Both things you mentioned (a "serious relationship" and kissing), while important, are not to be rushed into. The way I see it, your lack of experience shows that you're treating these matters with the respect they deserve. Maybe there's more you could do to put yourself out there and facilitate relationship-having/kissing, but definitely don't enter into a relationship with someone you don't care about, and don't go kissing them, neither.
Keep your chin up. I'm sure you'll do great.
While there could be something wrong with you, not kissing someone by 20 is not a big deal.
Still, I just wanted to let you know that something could still be wrong with you.
-Sunday Night Banter