"God sometimes does His work with gentle drizzle, not storms. Drip. Drip. Drip." - John Newton (Amazing Grace)
Question #90192 posted on 08/05/2017 3:14 a.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Under what circumstances is it acceptable to fart loudly in public.

-A gassy guy


Dear Gassafrass,

Under no circumstances. But if you must, first realize that it's not acceptable, and secondly take precautions to make it as least odious to others as possible. 

But Alta, you say, how do you make such a disgusting, perfectly natural bodily function less odious? Worry not, I reply, for I have your answer: Do it in an open area where the smell can dissipate quickly, and try and mask the sound by singing loudly at the top of your lungs about how you've been afflicted with the downstairs chuckles (you should always refer to your farts as "downstairs chuckles" so as to not offend people with the word "fart").



Dear reader,

I disagree with Alta. I think if you can't control it, meaning you have a medical condition or something that is causing you to fart uncontrollably, then it would be acceptable. Pleasant to others? No. Rather embarrassing? Yes. But still acceptable.

-Sunday Night Banter