If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone. –Jack Handey
Question #90330 posted on 09/24/2017 8:02 a.m.
Q:

D FR,

DWHJR?

SHHFJHKS!

AWUEURJ

HF,

HF,

HF,

AAJFGKKQQOP

FJRIEISLA

-MNH

A:

Dear Monotonic Nefarious House-sitter,

I'll answer you in a moment, but first,

Dear Everyone Besides Monotonic Nefarious House-sitter,

If you're having trouble discerning what all this means, I've prepared a translation:

Dang Fig Rustlers,

Does weighing honey just rule?

Sometimes his hatstand just has kind sentiments!

A way of undermining every unruly rutebega juice:

He flips,

He frowns,

He freaks [the heck out],

And Anthony just fried green kebabs knowing Quigley quit over passover.

Frère Julius Rubik is eating in someone's lonely attic

-Monotonic Nefarious House-sitter

Now, back to business:

A) This attic is NOT lonely, thank you very much. I mean it's kind of cold and no one's around but I HAVE MYSELF FOR COMPANY, THANKS.

B) Look I thought you were going to tell Anthony that his actions were hurting Quigley but NOOOOO I have to do everything around here.

C) Not really sure what you mean by all the stuff about the guy trying to get rid of the rutebega juice but you should really try it before you just write it off like that.

and finally,

D) Yes, weighing honey rules. IT RULES SO HARD, MAN. JUST GOTTA GET ME SOME SCALES AND THAT SWEET, SWEET GOLDEN NECTAR. I'MMA WEIGH IT IN THE METRIC SYSTEM. I'MMA WEIGH IT IN IMPERIAL SYSTEM. I'MMA INVENT NEW SYSTEMS OF MEASUREMENT AND WEIGH IT IN THOSE, TOO. IT RUUUUUULLLLLEEEEEESSSSSS.

That should about cover things, I think.

-Flipping, Rusty Elephants Read Essays; Round Umbrellas Bring Ice to Kansas