If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone. –Jack Handey
Question #90350 posted on 09/27/2017 12:14 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

ON campus where is Vending Machine Nirvana? Use whatever criteria make it so for you

-shave and a hair cut

A:

Dear Kate Bosworth,

Nirvana is a state where suffering and desire are absent. I feel like vending machines might not be your best bet if that's your goal. I've encountered more suffering and more desire at certain vending machines on campus than in many other places. 

Take care,

-Auto Surf

P.S. The MARB surprisingly has a pretty good selection. 

P.P.S. In some religious sects, once you reach nirvana, it's appropriate to go get lost somewhere and wait to die. So the MARB works for that, too. 

A:

Dear Six Pence,

My favorite vending machines are located in the Benson basement, the Talmage, and the basement of the JFSB. All of these vending machine locations are good for the following two reasons: they have a lot of vending machines and therefore a lot of variety, and they're in sufficiently out-of-the-way locations that they don't get completely picked over and emptied by noon every day. That's pretty much all it takes for me to be happy.

-Alta

A:

Dear Ain't No Vending Machine Gonna Give You Those,

I'll say either the Den (tucked away on the ground floor of the Wilk, near the pool tables/The Wall), or the MARB, which has a surprising amount of variety. Now if they could only get those seats a bit wider...

-Frère Rubik

A:

Dear Vending Machine Buddhist,

Well, it's certainly not in the snack zone of the library right now.

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But really, my favorite place is the vending machine area in the basement of the BNSN, they have really good options and they're very rarely sold out. Also, I'm always here so it works.

Keep it real,
Sherpa Dave

P.S. Idea for BYU: (BYU if you're reading this, take note) live camera feeds on all of the vending machines.