Dear 100 Hour Board,
What do we have to fear from the oh so cute guppy of doom???
Dear mindless inquisitor,
Oh, you have nothing to fear at all! I’m just a cute little guppy. The last little bit there was added on as a...a joke by some...friends.
See, I didn’t know about the Board until a few weeks ago. I was a happy, naive student wandering about campus, content to listen to my lectures, take notes during devotional, and drink non-caffeinated soda. But everything changed when the insects attacked.
It was a deceptively peaceful night. I was walking home from a late night at the library—when I suddenly found myself being swarmed by gnats.
I did everything to get away. I stopped, dropped, and rolled. I dashed to the nearest water fountain and flung water about me. I even dared to take a few steps into the Talmage. But by the time the gnats finally flew away, I found myself at the entrance of the strangest tunnel I had ever seen.
“Who goes there?” a thundering voice echoed.
“Um. [Name redacted]?”
“Are you a freshman, human?” the voice asked.
“N-no. I'm a senior.”
There seemed to be a host of grumbling at my answer. Among it, I could pick out, “I’m sick of eating nearly expired food,” “Not again,” and “I bet she’s a super senior,” at which a number of voices muttered angrily in response.
“Well, I’m-I’m just going to go,” I managed to get out, turning towards the exit.
“Wait.” I froze in place. “Have you heard of…the Board?”
“I-I know some students get tired of their classes, but I’ve never heard of a club where they meet together—“
“No, THE BOARD. The 100 Hour Board.”
“We have a task for you.”
By the time I finally escaped left for home, I gained a new determination—to become a writer for the Board. My new…friends…highly encouraged me to pick out a name they could easily recognize, so when the time came they would know exactly who I was. And thus, with the help of my friends, I became a writer for the Board!
So, mindless inquisitor, there you have it. I am a perfectly harmless writer, with absolutely nothing for anyone to be afraid of!
On a completely unrelated note, I might disappear for a few days every month. I have some friends I need to check in with.
Also, I know a fantastic place on campus for freshmen to explore this Halloween!
-guppy of doom