Oh, there he goes off to his room to write that hit song "Alone in my principles."
Q:

Dear Board,

I recently was looking for an entertaining first kiss story that I had heard/read somewhere, and couldn't recall where. I thought it might have been on the Board, so I searched the archives for it. While I didn't find the one I had in mind, I also had the most entertaining (both funny and sweet) hour of Board reading that I have ever had while reading all these great first-kiss stories from many different writers.

I also noticed that the last time someone asked for those stories was back in 2016. I know that there have been many writers who have joined since then (including a couple who aren't so new anymore), and so, for anyone who has not yet shared,

What are your first kiss stories?

Thanks!

-A Fan

A:

Dear wind blowing device,

Looking for first kiss stories from total strangers? You have come to the right place, my friend. I've been a writer for a week and I'm already telling my first kiss to the internet. Luckily for you, I'm telling two stories. One of them is totally adorable and the other is a disaster. The crazy thing is that they're actual the same story.

Cute story: Once there was a lass we shall call Leinster. Our families had long been friends, and for quite some time she had admired me. Despite her feelings, she had never acted upon them. Then in my junior year of high school she asked me to her Junior Prom. I went to the prom with her, and for the first time had noticed her beauty. During the dance the DJ put on the song "Are You Going to Kiss Me or Not". I looked at her, and she at me, and then, we kissed. Then 5 seconds later—confused as to whether or not said kiss actually happened—I leaned in and kissed her again. Yep. It actually happened. 

So, that's the cute story of my first kiss. Now I'm going to tell the rest of the story.

Here's where the story goes south: so the story was all cute for about 1-2 days. So, at the time I was kinda dating-not-dating a girl that we shall call Londonderry. Our prom was the week after Leinster's prom, and I felt like since I kissed Leinster, I should kiss Londonderry cause we were doing the whole Mormon 17 year old dating-not-dating thing (I was 17 okay?). So during our prom I attempted to kiss Miss Londonderry. I say attempted because she totally ducked out of it ...yeah. So the date finishes, I'm asleep, and then at 1 AM she starts messaging me on Facebook and we have a DTR/break up. This is pretty bad, but don't worry, it gets worse.

So despite having kissed Miss Leinster, I quickly realized that I didn't really like her a lot. I kinda just kissed her because she was cute and I was a stupid 17 year old. What I didn't count on when I kissed her is something called "consequences of my actions." I decided not to pursue a relationship, but she still really liked me. The thing about kissing family friends is that no matter how much you want to avoid them, you end up seeing them once a month anyways. It has been long and awkward having to see her every few months. 

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my cute first kiss and the ensuing train wreck! If you ever need funny/bad date stories I have plenty. Sigh...

Peace,

Tipperary

PS. Dont kiss people you aren't interested in dating. So not worth it in the long run.

A:

Dear Fan,

Yeah, it's been a long time; three generations of new writers (including me) have come aboard since that question was last asked. I haven't kept it a secret that I have no story to tell, but now no one can ever say I haven't answered this question.

-The Entomophagist

A:

Dear fan,

I met minnow, the giver of my first kiss, on my mission while I served in a YSA ward. While we were good friends, it took us a year until after my mission to get back in contact. We started talking a lot, I realized just how incredible he was, and a month later I told him I had a crush on him. He told me he felt the same! Our first kiss would definitely have been that day—except he was living in the South and I was in Utah. So we spent a few months dating long-distance, coming up with plans on where we'd have our first kiss. At the beginning we decided on the top of a tall building with a view of the city lights. Then it was watching the sunset from the top of a mountain. We finally just agreed that we wouldn't be able to wait that long, and our first kiss would probably just end up happening in the airport when I finally came to visit.

Unfortunately, our first kiss took a slight turn for the worse. I didn't realize just how confused I would feel when I saw him in the airport. I discovered that people look slightly different in real life than through the internet, and so, while I loved minnow, I associated that with Skype minnow, not real life minnow. Real life minnow, I discovered, looked exactly like that member on my mission, so seeing him threw me back to my mission days. Suddenly I felt apostate for my romantic feelings, and the newly awakened missionary in me revolted against the idea of kissing anyone. I later discovered that minnow was having those exact same feelings, so what we had always pictured as a romantic meeting turned into a rather awkward one.

We briefly hugged, stood around uncomfortably to wait for my luggage, then held hands and talked while walking to his car. I was starting to calm down until we got to a secluded area, where he turned to face me. I stood frozen to the spot, eyes wide open, while he leaned down and kissed me. 

Thankfully, after that the awkwardness faded pretty quickly. We were able to create new memories of each other, so when he came a month later to visit me in Utah we didn't relive that whole uncomfortable ordeal. 

-guppy of doom

A:

Dear A Fan,

I shared my actual first kiss story in the last round, I think, but this seems like the perfect opportunity to brag that Yossarian kissed me for the first time while we were arguing about Harry Potter, and if that's not a sign that we were meant to be together, I don't know what is.

Love,

Luciana

P.S. Yossarian's favorite book is also Catch-22 and that's also a pretty good sign, and especially fortuitous considering his Board 'nym.

A:

Dear you,

My first kiss was at the conclusion of my junior year of high school. That year, I had the opportunity to perform in a musical that two of the high schools in my hometown area put on together. Anyone who has had similar opportunities can tell you that spending 10 hours a week with the same group of people can lead to some interesting relationships. One such relationship happened between myself and my dance partner. Throughout the practices, we became better and better friends. When the musical ended we started seeing each other in that weird, high school, not really committed kind of way. However, said dance partner was rather cute, and I was very stressed about kissing her. 

That June, we attended the graduation party of a mutual friend. I had given a ride to two other friends, and she had arrived in her own car. At the end of the party, my two friends quickly headed to my car, which was parked across the street from hers. I, wanting to talk with her for a minute, walked her to her car, sensing that this would be an excellent time to kiss her.

However, I failed to account for the amount of time that it would take me to build up the nerve. After about 20 minutes, I finally felt confident enough to go for it. Just as I was starting to lean in, one of my friends rolled down the window of my car and loudly shouted, "JUST KISS HER ALREADY! I HAVE TO POOP!" That definitely killed the mood. Embarrassed, I gave my dance partner a quick peck on the cheek and started walking towards my car. She then yelled, "Hey! I want a real kiss!", walked up to me, and kissed me. 

Moral of the story? Friends are always there for you. Unless nature calls.

-Mitty

A:

Dear all my fans,

My first kiss story is almost as secret as my true identity. It's that embarrassing. But I like you guys, so I guess I'll finally share.

My freshman year at BYU, I started dating this girl. I was brand new to dating. Holding hands was still sensory overload, and I was scared to death of doing anything disrespectful or presumptuous. All that meant I was very slow with the physical touch side of things.

Two weeks after we were official it was Valentine's day, and we went to Olive Garden. We still hadn't kissed yet. After dinner we were talking in the car, and then all of a sudden we were just staring at each other. She was looking at my lips. I was feeling things I'd never felt before. This went on for about two full minutes, no joke. Finally, I croaked out, "What's going on?" She said, "You're not ready yet."

A few days later we had another staring contest. The next day, she was finally like, "You need to kiss me or this isn't going to work." So I did it.

As I always say, kissing doesn't make any sense until you give it a try. It's pretty great.

-Kirito

A:

Dear Aziraphale,

Quite honestly, I can't even remember his name (if I ever knew it in the first place). He kept putting his hand on my knee for an hour, and doing things like running around the room disruptively before giving me a peck on my cheek.

Should I mention that this was a three year old in my mom's primary class that I was substituting for?

~Anathema doesn't actually have a real first kiss story

A:

Dear you,

Why do I answer this question when I've never kissed anyone? I DON'T KNOW. I guess these have just always been my favorite questions to read. Plus it always makes me feel better when writers say they have also never been kissed. My favorite first kiss story I've ever heard I found cruising the board one night trying to work up the courage to kiss the guy I was dating at the time. Obviously, I never quite got there (for the best really) but Black Sheep's answer to question #57183 totally killed me. It is too precious for this world and we don't deserve it. 

Babalugats

A:

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