Dear 100 Hour Board,
You somehow now have complete control over BYU campus and an infinite budget (think sandbox mode). There is only one catch: you can only make three changes. What buildings will you tear down? What upgrades will you make? What new buildings will you build? Which miscellaneous projects will you take on?
Dear Campus Tycoon,
- Goodbye HFAC. This one is already planned, but it's still my number one priority. That building is a labyrinth and nothing about it makes sense. Hopefully they can be more reasonable with the replacement.
- Goodbye JKB. Please just put that poor chimera out of its misery. Not only is the room numbering non-intuitive, they put the exit to two auditoriums in the same tiny atrium that connects both wings of the building and the staircase. It's nearly impossible to get anywhere between class periods. Please start over and make it make sense this time.
- Goodbye smelly trees. Our resident foraging expert let me know that they're called Bradford pears, and that the fruit is edible once it has been frozen and thawed. Unfortunately, that doesn't do anything to mitigate the smell that emanates from their flowers for weeks every spring. I don't know who in charge of landscaping is so in love with those trees (they just planted new ones in the MARB/LSB quad), but obviously they've only ever looked at them from a distance.
P.S. I could also mention the MARB, but I feel like it's been covered pretty well below.
Dear someone tell Kevin J. Worthen,
Kill the MARB. Rebuild the MARB. Kill the MARB again.
Add this to the top of the SWKT. Build swing sets randomly throughout campus. Make the BYU Bookstore's textbooks cheaper and have them pay more for used textbooks.
-guppy of doom
Change every building to be just like the MARB.
Narrow the seats.
Worsen the Wi-Fi.
Keep it real,
- Build a 4-story parking garage over every existing parking lot on campus. No need to search for parking for 20 minutes anymore!
- Build a sports facility specifically for students. The gym in the Smith Fieldhouse is woefully inadequate.
- Build pedestrian bridges over 800 N.
- Turn the entire campus into the HFAC. More secret passages, more dirt rooms. BRING IT.
- Add anechoic chambers—rooms that absorb sound—at regular intervals and fill them with cool napping pods. Campus builders take note: the chamber in the Eyring Science Center is clearly not being used to its full potential.
- Create a raised platform in a courtyard called the Trough. Anything you don't want can be left here for others to take. Old clothes, textbooks, free food, your roommate who snores, those awkward couples on campus who can't help but schmooze—the possibilities are endless.
- The basement of the Ultra-HFAC would have like five swimming pools, so people could actually have room to swim. There would also be churro stands on the pool decks that dispense churros filled with Dulce de Leche and LaVell Vanilla ice cream.
1) LGBTQ resource center. Most universities have one (including our neighbors UVU and the U), and I think that even though BYU has certain standards that LGBTQ students follow, a resource center would be much needed for their mental health and emotional needs. It could direct LGBTQ students to support as they navigate their queer and religious identities and educate faculty and students who are not familiar with the LGBTQ community to make BYU a more comfortable, safe place for queer students.
2) More funding to the MOA for more cool exhibits.
3) Put a Starbucks that doesn't sell coffee products in the food court just to mess with people.
Since the world is our campus, I would bring about world peace, solve world hunger, and give everyone magic.
Tear everything down and build a castle that is exactly like Hogwarts. Build a roller coaster. Add a dog rescue center.