Dear 100 Hour Board,
I recently discovered that I'm insanely attractive. What should I do with my attractiveness? I want to use my powers for good.
-Really, really ridiculously good-looking
- Print off ten thousand pictures of just your face (really, just the face—I don't want to see no hair nor ears in this pic, just face), and use it to wallpaper a place that many people frequent—like a public restroom.
- Cut in front of people, facing them, so they can see your beauty. If for some strange reason, they try and swerve around you, immediately sidestep so you're blocking their path again. Even if it turns out they were trying to get to a hospital because they were dying, and so they do die, I'm sure they will be grateful the last thing they saw in this life was you. It will make dying worth it.
- Have an entourage proclaiming your greatness everywhere you go. For instance, have people playing trumpets and shouting out descriptions of your matchless physique whilst in the testing center.
- Sidle up to lone people at night to say hello in low, sultry tones. You will have just made their dark night bright with the light of your presence.
- Start a YouTube channel starring your attractiveness. Not you, mind you, solely your attractiveness.
’Tis the season for students to be burdened with midterms. We all need motivation, so I’d suggest standing outside the library to encourage your peers to study, or standing outside the testing center to cheer them up after midterms.