More grows in the garden than the gardener sows. -Old Spanish proverb
Question #90679 posted on 01/10/2018 11:38 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

My wife is the nicest person you could ever meet. She's so giving and selfless. I, on the other hand, am pretty rotten.

Sometimes, I get into depressive states where I hate what's going on. This might happen for seemingly stupid things. Like, my wife had gone out to shoot her sister's engagement photos for free, and I had to take care of the kids that morning. She took longer than anticipated, and it was an early morning, and I got into one of my depressive states for the rest of the day. It becomes hard to get me out of these depressive states. She tends to take them personally.

She gets scared when I get into one of these depressive states. I think about how wonderful it would be to just not exist anymore. That scares the heebie jeebies off of her. I've never actually tried to kill myself, or even gotten close to attempting.

I don't think that it happens very often. But, she wants me to get on some type of anti-depressant medication. I'm worried that it would be overkill since it doesn't happen very often (once every couple of months maybe), but the anti-depressant medication would be messing with me all the time.

I saw a therapist awhile ago about similar things to this. It helped a bit for me to see what exactly was going on and to develop coping patterns. Maybe I should keep going to develop more coping patterns? Or maybe I should go after the meds? Or do nothing at all?

Is it normal to get into a depressive state every couple of months? Everybody gets down once in awhile, right?

-Husband With Frustrated Wife

A:

Dear you,

Please talk to a professional (i.e. therapist) about this. 

Though you said things like this only happen once every couple of months, that's still a very valid reason to seek professional help. A licensed therapist will be able to tell you much better than any of us what to do, and what kind of side effects to expect from antidepressants, or even if antidepressants are the best option for you. 

Please see a therapist. Both you and your wife deserve you taking care of yourself.

~Anathema

A:

Dear friend,

I stayed away from a therapist for far too long because I felt like my problems weren't nearly serious. I really regret that.

As a really good friend of mine told me, if your leg hurts but you can still walk, you go to the doctor. Same with mental problems, and you will not regret it. I know that you've been before, but I really recommend continuing going to therapy. I totally understand where you are coming from, but not dealing with it will not make it any better.

You'll do great my friend.

Keep it real,
Sherpa Dave

A:

Dear you,

I just wanted to say that you aren't rotten. Seriously, you may have some weaknesses, but we all do. Take it from another not-so-rotten human being!

I really think it's important to realize that you aren't as bad as you think!

-Sunday Night Banter