Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education. -Bertrand Russell
Question #90859 posted on 01/28/2018 11:44 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

The 7 Habits found in the book of the same name are all pretty generic sentences, which of course makes them applicable to a wide range of endeavors, if you can do the thinking in your head of how exactly to apply the generic habit to what exactly you're trying to do.

If any of you have read that book and applied it in some way in your life, are you able to do the following?

List the habit number
Give as specific an example as possible of how you applied that habit to something you were doing.

-Ron

A:

Dear Ronald,

I have read The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective Teenagers. It's basically the same thing, just a little shorter with different examples.

The habit that I'm working on right now I believe is #1 Be Proactive. One thing that I'm doing to be proactive is reading through my notes at the end of each day and creating an abridged, legible, study version. This helps me review at the end of each day, and then on Saturday I go through and study everything I learned that week. I got the idea from a document written by Auto Surf's mother. She got a 4.0 almost every semester of college and she wrote down everything you need to to get all A's. I've been reviewing my notes as well as everything else on the list and so far I feel really good about my classes. I'm already beginning to see a difference this semester.

Peace,

Tipperary

A:

Dear Ron,

I, also, have only read the teenage version of the 7 Habits (I even got Sean Covey to sign my copy when he came to my stake for a fireside once). And, I can't say that I actively implement any of the habits, but some of the ideas from the book stick with me and I think about them a lot.

The idea I think about/use the most is that of "mirroring," which comes from Habit #5, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." Mirroring is a communication technique in which you listen to what the other person is saying, then repeat what they said, but using different words. The other person then has the opportunity to either confirm that you understood what they meant or correct/clarify their meaning. I'm actually not so sure if I go through this exact process that much these days (or, at least, if I do, I don't notice anymore), but I remember using it a lot to help my friends with relationship drama during my freshman year and I feel like it helped me become a better listener.

(As a side note, a very small communication technique which I learned from the 7 Habits and which I definitely use all the time is saying "I feel" when talking about other people's motivations, e.g. "I feel like you've been making a mess of the kitchen just to annoy me." It's a small thing, but qualifying what you say with "I feel" allows you to talk about your emotions while also giving others the benefit of the doubt and the opportunity to share their point of view, which is very important. I only list it as a side note here because it is a very small part of the habit.)

Beyond that, I also think about the "Relationship Bank Account" theory from...uhh...one of the relationship habits (either four, five, or six), which is the idea that relationships should be built up with small "deposits" (acts of trust, kindness, selflessness) so that they can withstand future "withdrawals" (favors, misunderstandings, needs). Again, it's not like I'm always thinking "Oh, I just added $5 to my relationship with my mom!" but I do think about the concept a lot.

-Frère Rubik