Dear 100 Hour Board,
As a guy, what are good ways for me to flirt? I feel like I probably know how, but I just haven't been REALLY interested in a girl for a while, so I haven't really had anyone that I really wanted to flirt with (except for a girl who already knows I like her and sorta kinda friend-zoned me for now, so I'd rather not annoy her by flirting). I think that flirting for me usually looks like giving the girl a compliment (mmm maybe a bad example because I do that to lots of people) or lightly teasing her or just making jokes. But is there anything else I should keep in mind?
Also, like I said, not really interested in anyone right now. So how interested should I be before I start flirting with someone? (I have accidentally led people on before and that is not cool.)
I think that there are a lot of different levels of flirting here. But most of it, in my opinion, has to do with the amount of attention you devote to someone. We all notice when people take the time to care about us or to specifically make an effort to talk or spend time with us. That's what flirting is all about. If you think you might be interested in someone, be interested in them! Get to know them, make an effort to care, and have sincere and earnest conversation. Honestly, do this with all the people you meet, because that's like, being a good person. But if you start to think you're interested in someone, make a more concerted effort to spend time with her or talk to her. People will notice when you are making a concerted effort to care about them, compliment them, and spend time with them.
Keep it real,
If you had asked me a month ago, I probably would have said that flirting is generally fun and harmless, and a good way to gauge interest between two people.
However, in the last few weeks I've been dealing with a man who flirted with me despite having a girlfriend. And while I knew about the girlfriend, and would never do anything to disrupt their relationship, I still started to have feelings for someone who showed such sincere and flattering interest in me. And that has not been the most fun thing to deal with. So I would say that flirting casually isn't a bad thing, but you shouldn't consistently flirt with someone who you aren't genuinely interested in dating.
But overall, I think you're on the right track when it comes to male flirting. If you're flirting casually, just getting to know someone, then teasing and compliments will go a long way. When you find someone you are actually interested in, then simply paying attention to her is going to make for the best flirtatiousness. Make eye contact, and initiate physical contact. Pay attention to what she likes, and draw her into conversation. Make her feel important. When you're moving past the casual stage, you want to sincerely get to know her, so while joking around will still make for a good time, you also want to communicate your desire to get to know her better.
Sounds like you have a good grasp of the general concepts. But honestly the most attractive flirting I've ever participated in was 1) asking real questions about things that are important to me 2) witty banter 3) verbal acknowledgement of chemistry/attraction etc.
If you don't know whether you really like a girl, but you think you might—just talk to her and get to know her. That's not flirting. It's being a human being to another human being.