"I'm not a chicken. I'm just really hesitant." -Frasier Crane
Question #91061 posted on 03/18/2018 1:24 a.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Mutual or Tinder? Which do you prefer and why? Pros and cons of each?

-Single Pringle Looking to Mingle

A:

Dear Pringle,

I've never used Mutual, but to help cope with the breakup with Yossarian, I downloaded Tinder. I have yet to actually meet anyone in person, because I'm a terrible coward, but it's been a couple of months now, so I have at least some perspective.

If you want to date Mormon people, I would imagine Mutual is the way to go. At least where I live, far from the Mormon bubble of Utah, Tinder seems to mostly be for hookups. There are plenty of nice guys on there who are genuinely looking for something real, but there are also men who will send you explicit messages. I would show some of them, but they aren't really appropriate for the Board.

You also get just plain weird ones, like my favorite:

Screenshot_20180210-080637.png

Overall, I would not recommend Tinder for dating. To be fair, I'm not the biggest fan of internet dating to begin with, so I'm somewhat biased, but I'm not sure I would ever feel comfortable meeting up with a guy I met on Tinder. Maybe it's different if you're in Utah and most of the men are LDS, but outside of Utah, I wouldn't trust the intentions of a stranger from Tinder, even if they were attractive enough to match with me. Even if they seem genuinely interested in dating, most of them want to meet up for a drink anyway, and when you don't drink that limits your options.

Pros of Tinder: I find it weirdly flattering to be hit on by strangers, at least on the internet when there's no potential threat from it. Being called beautiful and stunning is okay with me, even if you're doing it in the hope of sex. You also get some great screenshots to share with friends so you can laugh at the male species together.

Cons of Tinder: Everything else.

Love,

Luciana

A:

Dear *ingle,

Real life, then Mutual, and then Tinder in dead last. My reasoning is thus:

Tinder

Pros: None

Cons: Used far less in Provo, sketchier than Mutual, limited number of likes per day, and it's hard to access the other person's bio (because Tinder pretty much only cares about physical looks)

Mutual

Pros: A lot of people in Provo use it, sticks to LDS dating standards better, I've met some cool people and gone on low key fun dates

Cons: There are still sketchy/weird people, I've had good dates, but sometimes I feel like the app is more about going on dates than genuinely getting to know people

Real Life

Pros: Doesn't require internet connection, you can meet people and make friends with them without the constant pretense of dating them, you typically meet people that you already have something in common with

Cons: Requires more courage and social interaction

So, there are your pros and cons. I'd stay away from Tinder, but I have had positive experiences with Mutual so it might be worth it, but it's definitely not for everyone. Hope this helps!

Peace,

Tipperary

A:

Dear Chip,

So there was one time I got a Mutual just to see what it was like. I lasted for less than 48 hours before I couldn't stand it any longer and deleted my account. Mid-conversation. (I mean, I did tell the guy not to expect me to respond anymore cause I was deleting my account, so at least it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Maybe.)

The only pro for me with Mutual was attempting to figure out their algorithms for selecting potential matches (i.e. the people they show you). This is a potential application of a mathematical problem called link prediction, which I find quite interesting.

Pretty much everything else was a con. I wasn't actually interested in dating anyone, it felt like I was shopping for people based on the absolutely shallowest criteria possible (solely physical appearance), most of the guys seemed like total tools, and finally, I ain't got time to mindlessly scroll through photos of men when there's math to be done.

On the other hand, one of my roommates is now in a happy relationship with someone she met through Mutual, so obviously it works well for some people. 

~Anathema