If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone. –Jack Handey
Question #91158 posted on 04/24/2018 5:26 p.m.

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What happens in parts 1-5 of "Albi the Racist Dragon"?

-Thinking Emoji


Dear Thinkin' Time,

[Note: If you don't know what we're talking about, take a brief pit stop here first.]

Part 1: Albi is living happily in his cottage cheese cottage when one day he runs out of cinnamon for his morning oatmeal. Resignedly, he sings a grumpy song as he treks through the Marmalade forest, since buying more cinnamon will require him to visit the spice store, which is run by Albanians. 

Part 2: Albi arrives in town, which is in the middle of its yearly Bubble Gum festival. Albi makes it to the spice store and orders his cinnamon, but slowly he becomes aware of the townspeople pointing and laughing behind his back. Flustered, he leaves the store without picking up his spice.

Part 3: Halfway back to his cottage, Albi realizes he has forgotten his cinnamon. He is conflicted about going back for it, as he doesn't want to draw the scorn of the village people. He sings a song to the make-believe trees about how the village people don't like him because he lives in a cottage cheese cottage instead of the Cold and Scary Cave. The make-believe trees do not sing a song back to him, because they do not exist. Wearily, he ultimately decides to head back to the village, as his oatmeal is one of the only things that makes him feel warm inside.

Part 4: Back at the spice store, the Albanian boy finds Albi's bag of cinnamon. He shows it to his father and says they should return it to the dragon, since he already has paid for it in full. His father, knowing about Albi's racism and also wanting to fit in with the rest of the village, warns his son against doing so, grumpily singing a song about how they should fit in. He then sends his son to deliver a bubblegum pie to someone down the street. As the Albanian boy leaves, he secretly grabs Albi's bag of cinnamon to give back to him.

Part 5: As Albi returns to the village, he runs into the Albanian boy from the spice shop. The boy attempts to give Albi his cinnamon, but with the other villagers looking, Albi angrily denies having bought anything from the Albanians. He accidentally knocks the bag to the ground, and cinnamon flies up into the air, making Albi sneeze dragon flames, which appear to kill the Albanian boy. The rest of the villagers turn on Albi, driving him out of the village with rocks. He flees to the solace of the Cold and Scary Cave to lament his fate.

And I believe you know the rest.

-Frère Rubik