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Question #91200 posted on 05/07/2018 5:06 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

How should Star Wars: Episode IX end?

-Jar Jar Abrams

A:

Dear person,

I envision Captain Phasma, who miraculously survived her apparent death in Episode IIX, actually dying in an actually fatal explosion. Rey, Finn, Poe, and Rose would all survive and live happily ever after. The Ewoks dance and play their Ewok songs in celebration of victory over the First Order. And, most importantly, Kylo Ren is revealed to be Jar-Jar Binks, hopefully silencing the Reylo supporters for all eternity. 

-Sheebs