"It's not spiders I dislike, just people." -Petra
Question #91287 posted on 06/05/2018 10:48 p.m.
Q:

Frasier Question 2.0

I had so much fun talking Frasier last year that I've decided to make it a yearly thing. This year's question(s):

First: Top 5 (or whatever) segment from an episode (youtube links appreciated if applicable). Let's put a 30-second time limit on the segment. We're not talking about story arcs here, but about hilarious moments.

Second: If you're like me, you quote Frasier all the time. What are your most-used quotes from Frasier in real life?

--"I just don't like him"

A:

Dear --

First of all, for all Frasier fans reading this post I'd like to shamelessly plug Frasier: A Cultural History, I book I co-authored with Humble Sister (and, if you liked Cheers, there may be another book you'll be interested in coming soon...).

Now, on to your questions.

Some of my Top 5 Segments (I say some, because these are 5 that popped in my head, but I am certain a rewatch of the series will remind me of many, many more):

1) Niles pulling his hand out of the disposal when the coffee grinder turns on

2) Niles walking out of the bathroom after the hot and foamy explodes

3) The translation-telephone game with Marta and the German fencing instructor

4) Niles applying his nasal spray in "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Moskowitz" (Just go watch the episode, I don't want to give it away)

5) In "Frasier's Imaginary Friend," when Frasier walked through the living room in a bathrobe and with a towel on his head, I know that description doesn't do it justice, but it's such a great moment

Some quotes that I use:

"They're my friends!" (Aaron Eckhart's delivery of that line is a highlight of the last few seasons)

"You go too far!"

"I drove a Moon Crane once."

-Humble Master, who couldn't find links to all the moments, sorry

A:

Dear reader,

Segments:

S05E15 - "Room Service": The long setup to a really awesome joke where Niles is trying to quench Frasier's lust by conjuring an image of a decaying horse carcass. "Thank you, Niles, that just might do the trick. When it comes to an ugly image, you can't beat a dead horse!" I was completely blindsided by that line the first time I heard it and it remains one of my favorite moments.

S09E07 - "Bla-Z-Boy": When Frasier replaces his carpet and has to explain that they invented a whole new color between Almond and Buff. "So now it's Tofu, Putty, Oatmeal, Almond, Harvest Wheat, and Buff? That's going to be hard to get used to." This was one of the first scenes I remember seeing as a kid watching this show with my dad and I remember loving that scene then. I still do.

S10E14 - "Daphne Does Dinner": The opening scene of the episode where we cut to the end of what might have been another farcical dinner party episode. Frasier has told everyone he has Tourette's Syndrome, Martin is wearing a sash and speaks with an Italian accent and is "the Count" and they're all trying to figure out what went wrong. Frasier: "This party was bare bones! Simplicity itself!" Daphne [entering]: "One of your goats threw up in the kitchen."

S03E16 - "Look Before You Leap": Frasier backs out of singing a challenging aria on the PBS telethon to sing his old standby only to find that he's forgotten the words. "Let's all go to a ... taco show!" This was the last episode I saw for the first time (for some reason I just missed it growing up) and the ending scene absolutely slayed me.

S04E18 - "Ham Radio": While doing a live radio drama, Niles gets tired of Frasier's incessant directing and murders the entire cast. "Could the McCallister sisters stand back to back? I'm running out of bullets. <pop> Thank YOU!" His meltdown is hands down my favorite 30 seconds of Frasier.

S06E13 - "The Show Where Woody Shows Up": They always say "show don't tell" but I swear that Frasier's description of his karaoke night is funnier with him telling it and me imagining it. "Gil and Noel did a charming duet of 'Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better.' They were both wrong. I guess the highlight of the evening was when Gil performed a haunting rendition of 'I Feel Pretty,' during the latter verses of which Noel joined him on the apron of the stage and translated... into Klingon."

Quotes:

Whenever anyone says the phrase "every day" for any reason: "...every day in Arkansas!" (S05E15)

Whenever someone puts food in a strange place, especially the bathroom: "Food in the bathroom?" (S05E15)

Whenever anyone is obviously ignoring how strange something is, "Dogs are weird." (S05E09)

When appropriate: "If less is more then imagine how much more more would be!" (S07E13) (I still think this is hilarious, but no one ever laughs when I say this)

If anyone uses the word "snippy" for any reason: "Oh I'm sorry, was I snippy? I didn't realize it was too much to ask that there not be GUN PLAY in my living room!" (S03E01)

OK, I need to stop. Every scene I write about reminds me of another one. I could go on and on. Looking forward to next year's question!

-The Man with a Mustache

A:

Dear flesh is burning nananananana,

My top quote, which I say say in my best Martin imitation surprisingly often.

Martin: Just watch this. Open the door for him. [Daphne does] Now, I've been teaching him the names of all his chew toys. [gives the command] Eddie, get your banana. [Eddie stays in the elevator, staring.] Now he's thinking, "which one's the banana?" [still not moving] Now he's thinking, "what the heck did I do with my banana?" 

Obviously I only say the last part. "Now he's thinking, what the heck did I do with my banana?" The rest would be too long! 

My other top quote is:

Frasier: "Please remain... in the relaxation grotto?" [Niles is heartbroken and almost sobbing.] Have crueler words ever been spoken? 

-Mico

A:

Dear cassandra--no, wait, faye,

"I've made a ghastly, ghastly mistake" from that episode where Julia (Felicity Huffman) is over playing Pictionary and she's just the worst person in the world.

Dr. Niles Crane, "Hung Specialist."

The entire sequence where Daphne is dating Niles' doppelganger. ("Bit of a pretentious fop, wouldn't you say?")

The entire sequence where they all pretend to be Jewish. It wasn't until I started drinking that I appreciated the joke about Jewish wine--compared to non-kosher red wine, Manischewitz tastes like fruit punch. I mean, I think it's delicious but I could see how a wine snob like Frasier would be horrified.

The Crane boys discovering that they all love Antiques Roadshow and playing a drinking game while watching it.

-Cognoscente

A:

Hello Kitty,

Fridge pants.

-M.O.D.A.Q.