Look out for the future, because you never know what it might bring…
Question #91301 posted on 06/11/2018 11:27 p.m.
Q:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

Ok, so I saw this on Facebook and I think we could twist it to make a fun board game (ha!).

1) Pick an answer that you've personally written.

2) Change the question so that your answer is completely out of context.

3) Post the new question with the old answer as your response to this question. (Probably best to include a link to the original question too.)

-A reunion writer

A:

Dear Humble Master,

I know that it says that Harry "blew up" Aunt Marge, and that the charm Harry inadvertently used was an Inflating Charm, but what actually made Aunt Marge get so much bigger?

-realmyst

Dear realmyst

Rampant air in her.

-Humble Master

Original question

A:

Dear A reunion writer,

Here is my submission.

 

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is your ideal man like? Are there any reasonable corporeal changes I could make to win your heart?

- Fatty McButterpants

 

Dear Fatty McButterpants,

Well, for a starting weight, anything below a BMI of 16 is considered to be very dangerous and anything above 18.5 is merely underweight, so that puts us in the range of 121-140 lbs.

According to some ultra-reliable sources, each leg accounts for 9-10% of the total body weight. If our poor starved man were deprived of his legs, that takes his weight to 96.8-114.8 lbs.

According to the same sources, each arm equals about 6.5% of the total body weight. After lopping off the arms, our range is 81.1-96.6 lbs.

Next we're going to remove some organs, namely one lung (1.17 lb.), one kidney (.28 lb.), one lobe of the liver (1.21 lb.), the gallbladder (.08 lb.), the testes (.06 lb. x 2), and a foot of bowel (4.5 lb.). ... You can safely have any one of these removed, and assuming you can have all of them removed, that takes our mutilated friend down to 73.74-89.24 lbs.

Now we're going to rearrange his face. If we take his hair, external ears, eyes, nose, tongue, and teeth (he can still stay alive on a liquid diet without a machine), he loses about another pound. Skin weighs about 2.5 lbs. per square foot, and we have about 22 square feet of it. I'm assuming that after our facial reconstructions, we might be able to save ourselves about half a square foot, which is another 1.25 lbs. His weight range is now 71.49-86.99 lbs.

And that's about all she wrote. I suppose we could do complicated surgery to remove some muscles, brain tissue, and bones like the coccyx, but at this point, that just seems cruel. With that, I'm going to lock in my final answer at around 79 pounds.

Poor guy.

- The Black Sheep


- The Black Sheep, who is gay (sorry not sorry, fellas) and referencing Board Question #56726

A:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What is your ideal man like? Are there any reasonable corporeal changes I could make to win your heart?

- Fatty McButterpants

 

Dear Fatty McButterpants

I agree with Black Sheep almost completely, but I think I should add that if a guy has asked you on a first date, you should let him pay (and feel no remorse). After that, go for it.

Yours,

The Man with a Mustache, who is not gay, (sorry not sorry, fellas) and referencing Board Question #49806

A:

Dear A,

Dear Dragon Lady ~

 Why don't we hear from you anymore?

- Clair16

 

Dear Clair16 ~

I talk too much.

Ironically yours,
~ Dragon Lady

Board Question: #77192

A:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

I'm learning to read braille and it's getting easier, but I'm having the hardest time saying the words I read out loud. Do you have any advice?

-Abraille Lavigne 

 

Dear Abraille,

Why don't you just say it when you feel it?

Yours,

The Man with a Mustache (referencing Board Question #50040 and proud of his word play)

A:

Dear 100 Hour Board,

What's your image of an ideal man?

-Looking for a role model

 

Dear looking,

JacquesBaby.jpg

-El-ahrairah (referencing Board Question #89483)