Dear 100 Hour Board,
Can you give me some top 5 lists?
BUT, here's the catch: you don't get to pick your own list topics.
Instead, leave a placeholder, and other writers will nominate topics via flagette. You can pick as many or as few of those topics as you want to include in your final answer, but every topic in the answer has to be nominated by someone else first! Be sure to credit the nominator, too.
I love this question! Here are mine.
Top 5 Best States (suggested by Eirene)
5. Anywhere outside the Deep South or the Southwest
Top 5 Andrea Gibson poems (suggested by Zedability)
4. “A Letter to the Playground Bully, from Andrea, Age 8 and a Half”
3. "Angels of the Get Through"
2. “ I Sing the Body Electric, Especially When My Power’s Out”
1. "The Madness Vase"
Top 5 Mahler Symphonies (suggested by Cognoscente)
- The Black Sheep
Top Five Reasons to Rob a Bank (suggested by Eirene)
5. You thought that was how you made a deposit
3. To impress your great-grandchild
2. To create a distraction from your real crime: jaywalking
1. You heard a rumor there was a twinkie in the vault
Top 5 Effective Altruism Type Charities (suggested by P.D. Kirke)
5. Putting money directly into my hands
4. Those machines at National Parks that smash pennies
3. Graffiti artists with a strong P.O.V.
2. A pirated stream of "We Are the World"
1. Wishing Wells
Top 5 Fancy Hats (suggested by Tipperary)
Why yes, I would love to play my own game!
Ice Cream Frozen Yogurt Flavors (submitted by Eirene and modified because I haven't had ice cream in ages)
5. Strawberry lemonade
2. White chocolate raspberry cheesecake
1. Pistachio almond
Icelandic Volcanoes (submitted by Tipperary)
5. Jólnir was a volcanic island that existed for less than a year and is therefore the shortest volcano in Iceland (of those listed on Wikipedia, anyway)
4. Bárðarbunga is the site of the most recent volcanic eruption, as well as a 1950 emergency cargo plane landing, followed by the landing and stranding of a rescue plane and the eventual rescue of the two aircrews and passengers without fatalities
3. Öræfajökull is the tallest volcano on the island
2. Laki produced the most historically significant eruption in Iceland's history from 1783 to 1784
1. Surtsey is a volcanic island which formed in 1963 and was almost immediately declared a nature reserve; it's been used since then as a case study of how plants and animals colonize new, barren islands
Social Justice Rant Topics (submitted by The Black Sheep)
5. Police reform, including community policing, nonviolent deescalation, the demilitarizing of police forces, and strict accountability for officers who violate the law
4. Prison reform and prisoner rehabilitation, including ending cash bail, providing prisoner education, creating post-incarceration employment opportunities, prioritizing restitutional and rehabilitative justice over punitive justice, ending the war on drugs, ending for-profit prisons, and treating prison rape as a serious matter both legally and in popular culture
3. Immigration reform, including abolishing ICE (which has only existed since 2002) and adopting humane policies that prioritize preserving family unity
2. Voter enfranchisement, especially a Constitutional amendment establishing the affirmative right to vote
1. Healing the wounds of toxic masculinity - something far too big to summarize in a single sentence
Other Responses To This Question (submitted by Professor Kirke; excluding answers that weren't finished when I wrote this, which is about half of them)
5. Van Goff
3. Ms. O'Malley
2. Frère Rubik
Reasons I'm the best writer (Alta)
Historical figures I'd want to chat with over a nice cup of tea (herbal of course) (Van Goff)
5. Edgar Allan Poe
4. Edgar Allan Poe
3. Edgar Allan Poe
2. Mae Jemison
1. Edgar Allan Poe
Arcade video games (Tipperary)
5. Time Crisis 3
4. Gauntlet Legends
2. NBA Jam
1. Street Fighter II
Spider-Man costumes (Fr. Rubik)
Assuming we're ranking the costumes themselves and not any specific rendition by any specific artist...
5. The Amazing Bag-Man costume
4. Scarlet Spider hoodie
3. Future Foundation suit
2. Spider-Gwen costume
1. Original black suit/symbiote look
Songs/musical styles firmly outside the western tradition (Kirkypoo)
This is a challenge because thanks to globalization there's very few modern music styles that don't have some roots in Western music. But I'll give it a try.
2. Ofra Haza - Im Nin'Alu - Israeli pop! This song was an international breakthrough hit in 1984.
3. William Onyeabor - Fantastic Man - Futuristic Nigerian funk from the '70s that sounds a little like David Bowie's Berlin era. I guess it's built on Western music traditions, but I'm still counting it because it's weird and wonderful.
4. Babatunde Olatunji - Fanga - Liberian polyrhythmic drum music from a Yoruban master. Western African music is one of the earliest and most important influences in early gospel, blues, jazz, and eventually rock.
5. Arnold Schoenberg's Piano Concerto - This is technically Western but twelve-tone, or "atonal," composition took a huge dump on 400 years of Western music so I'm including it here. It's profoundly genius and completely unlistenable.
1. Olive oil. I grew up on Mediterranean food.
3. The smell of burning charcoal in a BBQ grill
4. Grilled meat (see #3)
5. Trees after rain
Types of whiskey (TBS)
Fun fact: whiskey/whisky is derived from the Gaelic phrase uisce beatha, or "water of life."
1. Highland scotch (bright and citrusy, not as much peat/smoke flavor)
2. Irish whiskey (smooth and delicious)
3. Bourbon (American and >51% corn)
4. Rye (American and >51% rye)
5. Islay scotch (aka what Ron Swanson drinks, tastes like literal bogwater)
Coolest experiences while outside the U.S. (TBS)
1. Looking over all of London from the top of the London Eye
2. Eating fresh seafood on a ferry in Valdivia, Chile
3. Walking through the streets of Plovdiv, Bulgaria and seeing centuries of history in a single glance
4. Enjoying the majesty of the banks of the Rhein in southern Germany
5. Running through the pigeons of the Piazza San Marco in Venice
Frasier Episodes (Humble Master)
I'm still happy with my picks in Board Question #89566:
1. "Ski Lodge"
2. "Merry Christmas, Mrs Moskowitz"
3. "The Doctor Is Out"
4. "Ham Radio"
5. "High Holidays"
HMS Pinafore lyrics as sung by Robert Onderdonk Terwilliger (D.A.R.E.)
1. "We sail the ocean blue / And our saucy ship's a beauty / We are sober men and true / And attentive to our duty" ("We Sail The Ocean Blue")
2. "I'm called Little Buttercup, poor Little Buttercup / Though I could never tell why" ("I'm Called Little Buttercup")
3. "What, never? / No, never! / What, never? / Hardly ever! / He's hardly ever sick at sea!" ("I am the Captain of the Pinafore")
4. "For he himself has said it / And it's clearly to his credit / That he is an Englishman! / He remains an Englishman!" ("He is an Englishman [Reprise]")
Star Fleet Captains (Humble Master)
Decades of Fashion (Inverse Insomniac)
Decades picked from this YouTube video.
Constellations (Inverse Insomniac)
- The Big Dipper
Linguistic Oddities (Inverse Insomniac)
- Structural ambiguity
- Internet grammar
- Internet grammar part 2
- Internet grammar and Winnie the Pooh
- Childhood spelling
- Elizabeth Blackwell
- Rebecca Lee Crumpler
- Ann Preston
- Russell M. Nelson
tumblr Posts (Spectre)
- This picture that I can't find a source for but is my favorite of all time:
- Triple concerto for faucet, water pipes, and fiddle
- Red panda vs rock
- Portals to hell
- Motivational Barbie
Places You Want to Visit Before You Die (Alta)
1) The Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam
2) Shakespeare's Globe in London
3) St Peter's Basilica in Vatican City
4) A Christmas market in Germany
5) San Diego Comic-Con in Rexburg weirdly, just kidding San Diego
Anagrams of Writer Nyms (Tipperary)
1) Tipperary: Party Ripe
2) Anathema: Ham An' Tea
3) The Entomophagist: Spaghetti Moo Then
4) Anne, Certainly: Celery in an Ant
5) Owlet: Towel
1) This one.
2) This one.
3) This one.
4) This one.
5) This one (or rather, a Minnie Van, if you will).
Things About Your Namesake That I Probably Don't Know (yayfulness)
1) Although Vincent was the oldest living child in his family, his mother had a stillborn child who she also named "Vincent" exactly one year earlier. Because the stillborn baby died on the same day that Vincent van Gogh was born (March 30), he grew up having to walk past a cemetery that had a gravestone with his full name and his date of birth, but one year earlier.
2) Although he sketched a little as a child, Van Gogh didn't start painting until he was 27. Until then, he worked as an art dealer, a teacher, a bookshop clerk, and a Protestant missionary. He also went to school to become a minister like his father and, although he eventually left Protestantism, spirituality was always a core component of his identity. Because he felt isolated by organized religion (in part because of his eccentric personality), he turned to God in nature: "When I have a terrible need of - shall I say the word - religion, then I go out and paint the stars.”
Not a lot of people talk about Van Gogh's spirituality and I think that's a shame because it's fascinating and adds an important depth to his work/identity as a painter.
3) Van Gogh was fluent in Dutch, English, German, and French. He also had a working knowledge of Latin and Greek from ministry school. During long shifts as a bookshop clerk, he would sometimes translate Bible passages from Dutch to English to French to German instead of actually doing his job. He was not a great bookshop clerk for that reason but hey, you've gotta have hobbies in life.
4) Most people know about the theory that Van Gogh's death may have been an accidental murder (which I personally don't believe) but there's also a theory among some scholars that he didn't cut off his own ear. At the time, he was rooming with the artist Paul Gauguin, who was known for his keen fencing skills and his hot temper. The two had a tempestuous relationship that came to a head during an argument that ended with Gauguin leaving their home for Paris and Van Gogh cutting off his ear. Based on Gauguin's fencing history and some letters exchanged after the incident (one of which Vincent ended with "I will keep quiet about this and so will you" and another that Vincent wrote to his brother Theo saying "It is lucky Gauguin does not have a machine gun or other firearms."), certain historians believe that Gauguin may have cut off Van Gogh's ear with a fencing sword and either swore a pact of silence with Van Gogh or took advantage of his faulty memory during his nervous breakdown that night. Especially because Gauguin later said of Van Gogh, "A man with sealed lips—I cannot complain about him."
I don't necessarily believe that one, either, but wouldn't be surprised because Gauguin was an awful person.
5) The correct pronunciation of Van Gogh is surprisingly difficult for non-Dutch speakers. Van Gogh just signed his paintings "Vincent" for this reason. Most of the French painters and art dealers he hung around couldn't pronounce his name, so he left it at his first name for the sake of convenience.
As a side note, one time I tried to pronounce Van Gogh correctly and it sounded like I was choking. I'm just naturally fluent in Dutch, I guess.
For more fun Van Gogh facts, subscribe here.
US Presidents (courtesy of Alta):
- Minneapolis, MN
- Atlanta, GA
- Indianapolis, IN
- Salt Lake City, UT
- Austin, TX
- Picking bad arrangements with weird time signature changes
- Not knowing how to conduct the weird time signatures you pick
- Letting the basses drop down an octave when they're supposed to sing a middle C
- Throwing in an a capella verse right after a key change without giving all the parts their notes
- Only letting the men sing for half the song and making half of what they sing in unison with the women
- Ice cream
Fictitious figures with El in their name (Tipperary):
- El-Guapo, the red puffball from Sesame Street
- Elmo, the witty heroine from Pride and Prejudice
- Elizabeth Bennet, the Charter necromancer who keeps the living alive and the dead dead
- Sabriel, the trickster god of rabbits
- El-ahrairah, the infamously handsome villain from The Three Amigos
Embarrassing moments from my life (Alta):
- When I bit someone: In 7th grade, I had no friends and nothing better to do at recess, so I developed the habit of running from the recess boundary line to the school door. I prided myself on being the first one to the door. When another kid started trying to beat me there, I didn't mind—I welcomed the competition. But one day, a group of kids all lined up to wait for the bell. I thought this would be fun, but when the bell rang and I pulled ahead, they all started grabbing me. As I remember it, they pulled me down and surrounded me, so I lashed out with everything I had to try to get to the door, and ended up biting the main competitor in the arm. Of course he let go and started screaming that I bit him, and I vehemently denied it, so we were ushered into the vice principal's office. I had never gotten in trouble at school and I really didn't want to start now. So when the vice principal asked for each of our stories, I continued to deny any biting. The other kid got a bit upset, but the vice principal calmed him by saying, "It's alright, I can tell if it's a bite or not." I froze in fear. He looked at the wound for a few seconds and declared that it wasn't a bite mark—it must have just been a bruise from when we were all struggling close together. So he let us go, I avoided the other kid for the rest of my life, and here we are.
- When I tried out for a play without knowing what I was doing: I tried out for a play. I didn't know what I was doing. I had no idea how to prepare a monologue and chose one I thought was super awkward and didn't memorize it and ended up as Salesman #3 in The Music Man.
- When I failed at stinky sardines: I was playing stinky sardines with my cousins. I was the second person to go and for some reason the others decided on a ridiculously short amount of time like 20 seconds, and the only place I could think of to hide was the exact same spot where the first person hid.
- When I got in trouble at the water park: I was in a lazy river I ended up missing the exit. The lifeguard started yelling at me but I couldn't hear what she was saying, so I assumed she wanted me to come back. I pushed against the current and made it back, and then she yelled at me some more and made me sit there in time out even though I was like 9 years old.
- When I told the world all my embarrassing moments: I told the interwebz all my embarrassing moments. But it was okay because the few people who tried to blackmail me about them or bring them up at all were mysteriously never seen or heard from again.
Creative things to do as a DM (Owlet):
- It's simple, but do things for each character's backstory. I like to print off letters or dreams that each character has and give them to the players so they have something private that ties into the plot. But prepare it beforehand so everyone else doesn't have to wait for you to write or whisper to one person.
- Prepare interesting characters. Like Baggi Dunn, the no-nonsense half orc who hosts the party. Or Ophelia, the fashionable Southern belle hag obsessed with the two crocogators like the villain from The Rescuers. Or fish with a 20 second attention span.
- Force the players to make morally ambiguous decisions. Like hire them to rid a town of zombies but make the necromancer a sweet woman trying to help care for the widows.
- Make things. Like monsters out of clay or partially burned letters or travel brochures. They'll be impressed.
- Get one of those toys with a dozen buttons that each make a different noise (like "Uh-oh!", cha-ching!, etc.) and use it throughout the adventure as it becomes appropriate. There's probably an app for that too. Or get a player to volunteer to be in charge of it.
Awkward Ways to Kiss (nominated by Anathema)
- Like this
- Nothing else will even come close to the awkwardness of that kiss, but next up is: passionately while in a crowded lecture hall
- Across somebody else
- The prolonged peck (literally no lip action, lasting more than 5 seconds)
- With someone you don't actually have any attraction to whatsoever
Ridiculous Comments From Students in my Classes (nominated by Tipperary)
- "I feel like the extermination order against Mormons was justified because people in Missouri disagreed with Mormons' political beliefs."
- "Sending Japanese people to internment camps in WWII gave peace of mind to the public, so it was worth it."
- "Liberals just want to punch people and set things on fire."
- *Started crying after I said that her black friend saying he didn't experience racism wasn't a universal experience*
- *After the professor says most people will get a pretty good grade in the class* "What would YOU consider a good grade? Because I think anything less than an A is a BAD grade."
Dumb Jokes (nominated by Owlet)
- What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?
- How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Walking. JK. Rowling.
- What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business!
- Why did Karl Marx not like black tea?
Because all proper-tea is theft.
- What does Batman put in his drinks?
Out of Context Lines from BOM (nominated by Humble Master)
- "And there went a fear of Shiz throughout all the land"
- "Or in other words, yield yourselves up unto us, and unite with us and become acquainted with our secret works"
- The two separate times Nephi feels the need to point out that he's "large in stature" (1 Nephi 2:16 and 1 Nephi 4:31)
- "Coriantor was the son of Moron"
- "And my father dwelt in a tent"
I received five suggestions for top five lists, so it is now my honor to present to you FRÈRE RUBIK'S TOP FIVE TOP FIVE LISTS!!!
That's right: I'll be ranking the lists themselves in addition to ranking the things within the lists. Very meta, non? *waggles eyebrows French-ly*
Now, without further ado:
LIST #5: Frère Rubik's Top Five Flavors of La Croix
This list was submitted by Tipperary. Now, I don't know if this question or Board Question #91324 will post first, so let it be said: I do not like La Croix. This means that Tipperary is now on my list. *looks at Tipperary over his glasses, eyes filled with menace*
My dislike of La Croix also means that I have tried barely any of its "flavors," so I'll go with what I know and then guess for the rest. Lastly, since La Croix is a drink made of carbonated deceit, I will be giving the true name (as in, a real description of how it tastes) of each flavor first, with the "official" name following in parenthesis.
Right then: the "Top Five" flavors of La Croix:
5. Going Through Lots of Interviews For A Certain Job and Then Not Getting Said Job (Passion Fruit)
4. Trying Your Hardest On A Test and Scoring 50% Anyway (Grapefruit)
3. When Your Package Is Supposed To Come Today but You Go To The Mailbox And It Isn't There (Orange)
2. Finding Out Your Friends Made Plans Without You (Lime)
1. Getting A Cold So Bad That It Hurts To Breathe (Lemon)
LIST #4: Frère Rubik's Top Five Sketch Comedy Groups
Anathema asked me to do this one. I'm going to assume that I'm allowed to use TV Sketch Comedy Groups because otherwise I don't think I'd be able to fill a list (I mean, I know some improv groups, but not many people seem to be banding together to do sketch comedy these days).
5. The Carol Burnett Show
4. Studio C
3. Saturday Night Live (current cast; it's the only full cast that I'm familiar with. I only know standout cast members from past years)
1. Monty Python's Flying Circus
LIST #3: Frère Rubik's Top Five The Onion/Clickhole Articles
Aww. You submitted this suggestion, yayfulness! I'm flattered that you want to know my opinions on The Onion and Clickhole. (I'm going to err on the side of caution here and just write out the headlines for each story, since some of them contain content that may not be quite Board-appropriate. Google them at your own will and pleasure.)
5. "Geologists: 'We May Be Slowly Running Out Of Rocks'" (The Onion)
4. "Angry Lumberjack Demands Hearty Breakfast" (The Onion)
3. "Playing Hardball: Donald Trump Is Having His Sons Pose Shirtless On A Barge To Lure The Women’s March Into The Potomac" (Clickhole)
2. "Scientists Teach Sign Language To Gorilla-Suit-Wearing Man" (The Onion)
1. "5 Times The Animatronic Fox On Splash Mountain Addressed Me By Name And Told Me He Was Going To Marry My Dad" (Clickhole)
(This was actually very hard to narrow down to five; I also recommend "Mischievous Raccoon Wreaks Havoc On International Space Station" (The Onion), "BYU Scientists Convert Matter Into Mormonism" (The Onion), and "FDA Recommends Adding Little Tabasco To That Bad Boy" (The Onion).)
LIST #2: Frère Rubik's Top Five Onomotopeias
This one's a real humdinger, submitted by Humble Master himself. (What is an Onomotopeia, you ask? It's a word that describes a sound! BANG! ZAP! SWISH! PLOP! ALL ONOMOTOPEIAS!)
5. SMACK (a general, all-purpose good hittin' sound!)
4. ZOOM (such speed! Such movement! Such Zoom!)
3. ZLONK (one of the many Bat-Fight Words!)
2. NYAN (the Japanese word for a cat's meow! It's so cute!)
1. SNUKT (the sound Squirrel Girl's knuckle spikes make when they pop out! A hilarious joke on many levels!)
And now, the best of the best, a subject near and dear to my heart:
LIST #1: FRÈRE RUBIK'S TOP FIVE SLAB PIZZA FLAVORS!!!
Owlet must know me or must have read my bio or something, because she asked me to rank something that I am VERY passionate about. I am passionate about pizza in general, but SLAB is another plane of pizza altogether. Here we go!
5. White. Vienna and I discovered our love for white pizzas on our honeymoon, and we've now determined to try the white pizza at as many local pizza establishments as we can. Since we both love SLAB, we decided it would be the first stop on the Frère Rubik/Vienna Utah County White Pizza Tour. Sadly, we were a bit disappointed in it. One of the best things about a good white pizza is the garlic sauce, and SLAB is missing that entirely. Their ricotta cheese was spread more evenly than in other joints we've visited, but it was a bit of a letdown nonetheless. Still, I'm a big fan of mushrooms and sausage, so the SLAB white is still a good slice in my book, especially compared to other local pizzas.
4. Cheese/Pepperoni. These two share a spot because they're so similar and because they fill a similar niche: sometimes, you don't want to be fancy. You just want some dang good pizza, and either option will give you that for the amazing value of $5 plus tax. (Mathematically speaking, a full pizza at SLAB is 20 inches in diameter, meaning it has a radius of 10 inches. A whole pie, then, has an area of 314 square inches, and a single SLAB is 78 square inches. At $5 for a cheese or pepperoni SLAB, that's a measly six cents per square inch of pizza! It's a steal, I tell you!)
3. The Karlyn. It's the classic pepperoni and cheese, except...more. There is just more of it. It's more of a good thing! I love it. Yeah, it's greasy, but THINK OF ALL THE CHEESE AND MEAT. I also like to dress it up with the provided oregano, red pepper flakes, and parmesan cheese to make it feel a little more fancy.
2. Tomato Basil. This is SLAB's version of the Margherita; I don't know why they don't just call it that. Regardless, it's good: the fresh mozzarella is great, and the tomatoes are usually quite juicy and flavorful. If there's one thing I have against this pizza, it's that the strips of basil get stuck between my teeth pretty easily, but that's a very small complaint.
1. Rosemary Potato Bacon. Though I'm pretty sure SLAB didn't invent this kind of pizza, I think of it as their signature pie. It's not at all what you typically think of as far as pizza goes, but all the flavors work together to make a slice that is tasty and hearty and even makes you feel like you're eating kind of healthy, which is a considerable feat when one of the primary ingredients is bacon.
That was fun! Thanks for the ideas everyone!
Top 5 Petri Dishes (from yayfulness)
I'm currently a clinical microbiology fellow, which means I get to go through the different areas of the infectious disease laboratory (bacteriology, mycology (fungi), parasitology, virology etc.) and see what's been growing from patient samples. Pretty much every day, there's something cool, worth taking a picture of. Here are five of those that I took by mine own hand:
5. Cornea scraping - "I can 'C' clearly now." If there's a suspected fungal infection of a cornea, the method of culturing the so-thin-they're-invisible scrapings made via scalpel of the cornea are to literally cut "c" shapes into culture agar. This grew a fungus called Fusarium
4. Pseudomonas aeruginosa - "dripping with malice." You maybe need to see a lot of "normal" bacteria culture plates to recognize just how wild this one is. When you're growing bacteria on agar, you "streak" the bacteria out so that it's heavily inoculated, and then streaked out into different regions/zones in order to spread out individual bacteria, ideally into individual colonies. Like this:
That's a more or less normal looking bacterial isolate. But look at this plate:
But in this case, the predominant organism, Pseudomonas aeruginonsa grew fast, and WET! So wet ("mucoid" is the term we use) that, as it was incubated upside down it actually dripped down to the lid, causing this wild, raised (actually dripping) 3D appearance. Pseudomonas can also produce dark pigments and even a metallic sheen, which makes it look more like a sculpture made of an oil slick.
3. Candida tropicalis - "beauty and the yeast." Some agars have proprietary chemicals added to them so that when organisms grow, they have distinct colors. One of these can distinguish between commonly pathogenic yeast Candida species: green is C. albicans, pink is C. krusei, and metallic (tropical) blue is C. tropicalis.
2. Pseudomonas Christmas trees. Pseudomonas aeruginosa making another appearance. The disease cystic fibrosis is an inherited, always fatal, disease where certain ion pumps in your body don't work correctly and (among other things) you have thick mucus. How is that fatal? For one thing, that thick mucus makes your lungs havens for LOTS of infectious bacteria. Not only do you not clear those bacteria, but they are in such high concentrations they can swap virulence factors and become more pathogenic.
This plate, with five (5) different isolates of, surprise!, the same species bacteria P. aeruginosa all from the same cystic fibrosis patient. Beautiful. These are generally very drug resistant bacteria and this is not a good finding.
1. The Fall. Like the Candida plate, where the agar has compounds that make growing colonies change colors, there is a plate specifically for urinary tract infections. This plate ... was not from that. This was actually just dropped on the floor one day and grew the most aesthetically beautiful, but actually random, arrangement of bacteria.
Top 5 Infectious Diseases You Would Actually Like to Have (from Eirene)
5. Malaria. For stupid, purely egotistical reasons - I think it would up my parasitologist street cred if I could get malaria, draw my own blood to make a blood smear and diagnose it to the species level.
4. Hookworms. Keeping it in the parasite family. These blood-drinking parasites are actually pretty unpleasant to have (cramps, diarrhea, anemia). SO my infection with them is predicated entirely on whether or not they have any modulating effect on my terrible hay fever. There's evidence that the presence of intestinal helminths (worms), which triggers a strong Type 2 immune response can simultaneously tamp down a Type 1 immune response, which is tied into allergies and autoimmune disorders. (Note: THIS IS OVERLY SIMPLIFIED. QUOTE ME AT YOUR DINNER PARTIES AND CO-WORKER GATHERINGS WITH LOTS OF DISCLAIMERS!) A lot of people know about this phenomenon from a 2009 Radiolab episode. However, clinical trials using a non-human intestinal nematode did nothing for auto-immune-caused Crohn's disease or for hay fever. More recent studies may have narrowed down on the actual proteins that cause the improved allergies. So hope remains. So I'd give it a shot and, if it doesn't work, out they go.
3. Chaetomium. So, this is not something I would ACTUALLY like to be infected with because that would mostly likely only happen if I'm already really sick. Like a lot of fungi, if this shows up in a pathogenic setting, it probably means that a person is severally immunocompromised. Not good. But like many fungi that live in the environment, Chaetomium can be found incidentally on nails and skin. And of all the wild, Dr. Seuss-looking fungal structures you see on fungi, Chaetomium has the wildest, "flying spaghetti monster" eyeball-looking appearance. So let's say I'd like to be colonized, if not "infected."
2. Leishmania. First off, it's what I studied as a grad student (leishmaniac for life, baby), so there's that. I have the T-shirt, I have the diploma and publications, but I don't have the real deal. Why else would you "want" leishmaniasis? Because both the more common cutaneous form of the disease and the lethal (if untreated) form are actually pretty straight forward to treat. That means the reason these diseases have the impact they do is not that treatment doesn't exist, but that deployment and supportive infrastructure are the "cure" as much as the admittedly unpleasant drugs. As the nurse who ran the Leishmaniasis Treatment Clinic in a rural Brazilian town would say when talking to new patients, "If the only disease in the world was leishmanisis it would be a wonderful world!"
1. Rhinovirus. Because it's going to happen anyway, so I might as well deal with it like we all do, every year.
Top 5 Rating or Measuring Systems (from Tipperary)
5. Thumbs up (movies, or just for a general "how are you?")
4. Hearts floating over your head that indicate your health
3. How "scrummy" Mary Berry thinks your bake is
2. How many thousands of miles you would walk (>/=1K or </= 1K) to 1) "fall down at your door" or 2) "just see you ... tonight."
Top 5 Songs from Hamilton (from Art Vandelay)
Impossible. Nice try, jerk.
But to fulfill the Implacable Demands of the List I'll give you some of my Top 5 Lyrical Moments from Hamilton Songs. This means wordplay, double meanings, or other little tricky things that I love.
5. "Right Hand Man." Love this George Washington introduction song. Washington's rhymes are amazing (more on that in a second), but this line from Hamilton, right before introducing Washington:
"I will fight for this land, but there's only one man who can give us a command so we can (LaFayette/Mulligan/Laurens/Hamilton together) Rise up!"
Washington, General of the colonial army is the only man who can 1) issue commands, lead them to rise up BUT ALSO 2) literally give them "commands" (commanding posts) which Hamilton asks for and knows will be necessary for him to become anyone of importance in society. Double meanings.
But my favorite part of "Right Hand Man:
Simplest rhyme: "elephant is in the room/... the British cannon go 'boom.'"
Great rhyme: "check it" (slant), "real a second" "milisecond" "feel a second"
Face-melting rhyme: constant use of the 'ene,' 'ete,' 'ele,' motive in one long string.
4. "My Shot." The song it took Lin-Manuel three years to write, apparently, because it all hinged on this (both for Lin-Manuel and his musical and for Hamilton *in* the musical).
(Confession: I don't like the line "just like my country, I'm young, scrappy and hungry," because I think the word "scrappy" is inherently silly, but this song is just an incredible collection of words.)
This is, like, Hamilton 101, but the one (1) thing I knew about Alexander Hamilton before listening to this soundtrack (on that fateful day, September 2015) was that he was killed in a duel so I got the fact that "My Shot" was both "my opportunity" and later there would be a literal "pistol shot" that would be involved. But it's still pretty awesome.
But this section right here is amazing:
(By the way, if you're going to sing along to this soundtrack with your kids, you can turn down the volume and sing "Britain to forget about us endlessly" if that's important to you.)
3. "Blow Us All Away"
And you’ll blow us all away...
Yeah, you’ll blow us all away
Philip Hamilton was killed in duel and Theodosia Burr was lost at sea. They were both, literally, blown away.
(Lin-Manuel confirmed that was intentional irony and it's ... it's a lot.)
2. "We Know"
To review: In 4 lines and 41 words. 1) Internal triplet rhyming, 2) Three different uses of different meanings of "check/checkered" and 3) Three different uses of "sent/cent/scent."
People can think that Hamilton is overrated but not that it isn't genius. I so decree it.
1. "Quiet Uptown."
Now the complicated hidden wordplay in this song relates to the concept of "uptown" and what that term meant to rap in the 1980's and ... Nah, just kidding. I just genuinely love this song.
Think about what some of the most poignant and powerful moments in Hamilton are, what "events" get memorialized in songs and solos: confrontations (duels, arguments, debates), and internal decisions ("Satisfied," "The Room Where It Happens," "Hurricane," "Burn"). In part that's an obvious choice - it's a musical, not a historic recitation. But then, that's life too. I find it incredibly meaningful that Lin-Manuel Miranda takes the time in "Quiet Uptown," to marvel at "... forgiveness. Can you imagine?"
Similarly, Eliza Hamilton, in the concluding song, "Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story," after listing what she does following Alexander's death (interviewing soldiers, reading his 22,000 pages of writing, speaking out against slavery) directly takes ownership of the Hamilton narrative: "Will they tell our story" and later "Will they tell my story." (Note: the musical isn't Alexander Hamilton. It's Hamilton. Of which Eliza is one. She's the Hamilton in Hamilton too.) And she explicitly says "What I'm proudest of." It's helping children. Not wars, financial systems, even country founding. The thing to marvel at is forgiveness of and the thing to be proudest of is helping children. That's what to do in the time we have.
Bonus: I really like the line/rhyme from Hercules Mulligan: "Lock up your daughters and horses of course it's hard to have intercourse over four sets of corsets."
- Rating Pending (who wants to apologize to Olympus who asked for my Top 5 Scientific "Ah ha!" Moments I Wish I Was There For. This answer already became a monster, while also a faithful glimpse into my brain. But to be honest, I don't think most big scientific moments actually WERE moments. Achieving something, like landing the Curiosity rover on Mars - that was a Mission with an Measurable Goal: don't screw this up. I think most of the really exciting scientific discoveries involved someone or a group of someones going, "What? Dang. Weird. Wait ..." over a period of time. Cop out? Yes. True? Yes. But it's also kind of on you. You could've just asked something else about Hamilton.)
How are you yayfulness!!
Can it a lists? It is a must. Main screen turn on.
Top 5 Military Bases (it can from Tipperary)
- Fort Dover AFB. It can conveniently located to the White Horse. If it must a presidential flight, it can from here.
- Hill AFB. CATS will not to an Air Force, but Utah is frandly. It can always.
- Fort Knox. We can to gold! It will be rich, Inspector Bond.
- Second base. LADIES.
- But all your base are belong to us. You have no chance to survive. Make your time.
Top 5 acids (it can from Upfish Thought)
- Hydrochloric acid. Chemistry was not a strongth in high school, but this can famously. It will burn!
- Sulfuric acid. It is also heard of. It can be in a battery.
- Citric acid. Can it disagree with fruit? You can move every orange and lime.
- Folic acid. Every babing must be healthy in prenatality. Do not underestimate. Exfoliate!
- Acidalia Plantia. Can you see a Martian? It is a clever joke.
Top 5 Monkings of 100 Typing Monkings (it can from Cognoscente)
- But, it is incorrect.
- You are on the way to destruction, Cognoscente.
- Make your time.
- Make your time.
- Make your time.
Top 5 fashionable accessoring choices (it can from a Black Sheep)
- Stylish cowl. It must having a high collar to maximize sultriness. Everything is left to an imagination.
- Lacing collar. Can you have any other way to bind a shirt? It is pure class. Do not using buttons or snaps. It must be a lace.
- Robot eyes. There is no other way to move every ZIG. It moves directly from a brain. Why can you using buttons or switches? Use a robot eye.
- Colorful socks. It cannot always be a joke.
- Tall, wiry hair. It was a success for Jimmy Neutron. Why can it not also be a CATS?
You are all very cleverly thinking. But if it will mockery, know that you have no chance to survive. All your list are belong to us.
Ha Ha Ha Ha...
I accept your challenge. Here are the lists I was given.
Fatalities caused by bees (from Anathema)
I was super excited for this one, but it turns out that their are far fewer notable bee-caused fatalities than I originally thought. After about an hour down the rabbit hole of the internet I was still unable to come up with a solid top 5. To complete my top 5 I decided to attribute some deaths caused by "unknown insects" to bees. Bees are deadly to those who are allergic, which makes them a likely subject. Besides, I'm sure they'd appreciate the notoriety. (Sources here and here)
- Legendary English cricket player Kingsmill Key died from an unknown insect at age 67. The irony of a cricket player being killed by a bug.
- A Spanish woman died after undergoing "bee acupuncture". Apparently Gwenyth Paltrow had recommended being stung by bees on an alternative lifestyle website. It turns out "bee acupuncture" is a bad idea.
- German Philosopher Max Stilmer was killed by an unknown winged insect in 1865.
- Scottish Statistician Robert Wedderburn died of anaphylactic shock from an insect attack at age 28.
- Although his death wasn't directly due to bee stings, and he is fictional, this list would not be complete without honoring the bee torture given to Nick Cage's character in The Wicker Man.
People who shaped who I am today (from Van Goff)
- My Parents
- My older brother
- My college professors collectively
- My boss at my summer job after my mission
- My high school football coach
Numbers (from Owlet)
I'm going to stick with just using numbers, which means no infinity or O(h) although those are both really cool concepts.
- One. Not only is one traditionally used to represent the best, but it's also the space between integers, the common factor of all integers, one of the two numbers needed for binary, the ring to rule them all, the probability of a certain event, and part of the band name One Direction. It's clearly the best.
- Zero. Zero is one of the coolest numbers out there. Anything multiplied by zero is zero, and if you divide by zero you break the universe (Side question, is zero an even number or an odd number? I think that it's probably an even number, but I'm not a mathematician or anything.)
- Ten. We've got a base ten number system so it's pretty important. Also, top ten lists are legit. Heck, the 10 commandants were a top 10 list.
- Three Hundred Sixty. The number of degrees in a circle. Really useful for trigonometry, which happens to be very important in engineering
- Five. My sarcastic estimate for large numbers is always "At least five". How much do you think it cost to make that movie? At least five.
Pixar Movies (From Art Vandelay)
FYI, these are my personal favorites. Feel free to disagree, but this is just my opinion.
- Toy Story
- Toy Story 3
Lists are cool. We should defs do this more often. Thanks for the fun question (and writer suggestions)!
Dear yayfulness ~
Heart-stopping moments in my life (from Anathema)
- Just now, when Yellow 2.0 put his leg over the stair railing in the garage—probably 8 feet above concrete.
- When Yellow 2.0 choked on cereal, and I legit called 911 (but hung up before they answered because he finally coughed it up.)
- Pretty much any time someone startles me.
- The moment I arrived at the bottom of the most active volcano in Nicaragua and realized how high I would be hiking in order to board (ashboard?) down it.
- Probably the moment I fell off a combine onto concrete head first. But I was about 5, so I don't actually remember it.
Fictional Dragons (from Van Goff)
- The Hungarian Horntail
Motown songs (from Tipperary)
(Note: I didn't actually know what Motown was, so my list was blank. But Cognoscente begged me to listen to it, so I searched Apple Music for a Best of Motown list. These are the first 5 I recognized. Also, I should note that I do actually like this music. Just not enough to come up with a list off the top of my head.)
- "Stop in the Name of Love"
- "Ain't No Mountain High Enough"
- "My Girl"
- "My Guy"
- "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)"
Real Dragons (from El-ahairah)
- Komodo Dragon
- Ruby Seadragon
- Blue Dragon Sea Slug
- Flying Dragon
- In his dreams.
- Over my dead body.
- When I've been awake for 100 hours straight, answering Board questions, and he just woke up from a refreshing 8 hours of sleep.
- When dealing solely in Harry Potter movie trivia.
- ... there is no other time.
Moments of my Nicaragua Trip (from Olympus)
- Volcano Boarding
- Releasing baby sea turtles into the ocean
- Seeing a momma sea turtle come onto the beach to lay her eggs
- Countless hours of real, meaningful conversation with girl friends, that truly did change my life. Turns out, women need to gather. We need each other.
- Waking up to howler monkeys in the trees above my bedroom, overlooking a lagoon inside a volcano.
Top 5 Culinary Uses of Ginger (Tipperary)
5. Lemon-ginger tea
4. Candied ginger
3. Ginger molasses cookies
2. Ginger-tumeric soup
1. Ginger chicken pizza
Top 5 Culinary Uses of Souls (Tipperary)
5. Chicken cordon soul
4. Filet of soul
3. Split soul soup
2. Margherita-soul pizza
1. Duck in ginger and soul ragu
Ways Life Has Changed For You Since Retiring From the Board (Van Goff)
5. I took up climbing
4. I developed an eating disorder
3. I went to a therapist because of my eating disorder
2. I ran a marathon
1. I got my own apartment
Top 5 Places to Travel (I deleted the flagette... Owlet? ) - This list is also known as all of the places I've been to...
5. Barcelona, Spain
4. Cancun, Mexico
3. London, England
2. Paris, France
1. Florence, Italy
Hateable Fictional Characters a.k.a characters that I just really, really don't like (Inverse Insomniac)
5. Jonathan of Conte from the Song of the Lioness
4. Eragon from The Inheritance Cycle
3. Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter
2. P.T. Barnum from The Greatest Showman (really not a fan of this movie)
1. Captain America from Captain America: The First Avenger
The Soulful Ginger
TOP 5 VOWELS
as requested by D.A.R.E.
TOP 5 FOODS NAMED AFTER FAMOUS PEOPLE
(using the criterion that someone is famous if they have something officially named after them)
as requested by Tipperary
- Margherita Pizza
- Fettuccine Alfredo
BONUS: WORST 5 FOODS NAMED AFTER FAMOUS PEOPLE
- Mary Jane (candy)
- Graham Crackers
- Salisbury Steak
- Beef Stroganoff
- Bartlett Pear
TOP 5 LANDLOCKED COUNTRIES
and the reasons they are notable
as requested by Art Vandelay
- Vatican City, most Catholic
- Switzerland, most neutral
- Nepal, most tall
- Swaziland/eSwatini, most recently renamed
- Kyrgystan, most consonants
Waldorf & Sauron
Top 5 David Letterman Top 10 Lists, from Tipperary
- Sorry to break it to you, but I was never
- a Letterman guy :( I'm so sorry forgive me plz
- As a #teen when I did watch late night talk shows
- I mostly watched Late Night with Conan O'Brien
- And then later just Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report
Top 5 Netflix Originals, from Ms. O'Malley
I'm going to be a bit fiddly about this answer and exclude from consideration all the shows Netflix has just revived or rebroadcast, meaning I'm ignoring the likes of Arrested Development, Black Mirror, and Queer Eye.
- BoJack Horseman
- American Vandal
- Dear White People
- Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Top 5 Hufflepuffs, from Owlet
- Nymphadora Tonks with the good hair
- Cedric Diggory, the real Hogwarts champion
- The Fat Friar lol
- Hannah Abbott for reppin the DA and locking down dat Longbottom you go girl
- Justin Finch-Fletchley for having the best surname in HP universe
TOP 5 PANDAS, from El-ahrairah
- Mei Lun and Mei Huan, twin panda cubs that I saw with my own two eyes at Zoo Atlanta. I was so excited I accidentally elbowed some 6-year-old in the head.
- This store that I found on my study abroad that was top to bottom panda filled:
- All the pandas in this video (Also, I've been to China 3 times and have somehow still not made it to Chengdu! So sad!!)
- The panda cubs in Kung Fu Panda 3 that pop out of a window when Po arrives in the village. I cried legit tears in the theater during this scene.
- Mei Mei the panda from Born in China and the panda imposters that shot the film
TOP 5 #firstgradefriends QUOTES, from Owlet
"Guys. Today one of my kids told me he wants to be a fish when he grows up. A FISH. #goingplaces #firstgradefriends
"So today I had 7 kids out by the end of the day. Me, being the cool teacher, decided that we were going to read on the carpet since we had space to lay down and stretch out. As we're reading, one of my boys looks over at me and says "Ms.O'Malley, I like you but only as a friend." Thanks man. #firstgradefriends #friendzone #perpetuallysingle
"student: are you single?
me: I am.
student: do you have any pets?
me: I don't have any pets.
student: well that's why you're single!
#firstgradefriends #crackedthecode #needadog"
"kid: teacher, what in the treat box is romantic?
kid, whispering to self: I love romance.
#firstgradefriends #endofdayconversations #HOWISITONLYTUESDAY
"me: okay, who knows what the word 'observe' means?
kid: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
kid: it's like spongebob since he lives in water. he observes it.
#soclose #firstgradefriends #mondayfunday
TOP 5 FICTIONAL COUNTRIES SET ON EARTH, from Humble Master
- El Dorado
TOP 5 VLOGBROTHERS QUOTES OUT OF CONTEXT, from yayfulness
- "We are all bat people."
- "Hank, it's time to bring back the evil baby orphanage."
- "Come on Green. Get it together."
- "While I'm definitely on Team Ninja, a pirate puppy would be pretty awesome."
- "French the llama that whale is big!"
Top Five Toes (Humble Master)
3. Glacier toe
1. Baby toes
Best Vacations I've Ever Been On (Alta)
5. Family reunion in Georgia
4. Camping with my then-boyfriend and his family in Sun Valley
3. Singles ward campout in Southern Utah
2. Honeymoon in a small lakeside town
1. Roadtrip with El-ahrairah from Provo to undisclosed location in the Midwest
Worst Vacations I've Ever Been On (Alta)
5. Flying alone with a newborn for my friend's wedding
4. Study abroad in the Amazon (not really a vacation, but a new place ... with lots of terrifying bugs)
3. Christmas after I started dating El and missed him so much
2. High school cross-country camp where I was literally the slowest person
1. Summer with my cousins when I got chickenpox
Dear pursuit of happyness,
- Revenge of the Sith (Matthew Stover)
- Ruin of Angels, The (Max Gladstone)
- Return of the King (J.R.R. Tolkien)
- Redwall (Brian Jacques)
- Reptile Room, The (Lemony Snicket)
- The Pagemaster (!!!)
- Treasure Planet
- Atlantis: The Lost Empire
- James and the Giant Peach
- Prince of Egypt
- Over the Hedge
- Rise of the Guardians
- The Iron Giant
- Brother Bear
- The Brave Little Toaster
- The Black Cauldron
- Pokémon 3: The Movie: Entei — Spell of the Unown
- The Great Mouse Detective
- We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story
- A Troll in Central Park
Olympians (Inverse Insomniac)
(...who rowed crew in the Olympics and I know about them, thank you Boys in the Boat.)
(All specifically from the 1936 University of Washington crew team except #10, who was from Cambridge and competed on Great Britain's team.)
1. Don Hume
2. Joe Rantz
3. George Hunt
4. Jim McMillin
5. Johnny White
6. Gordon Adam
7. Charles Day
8. Roger Morris
9. Coxswain Bobby Moch
10. Hugh Laurie's dad, Ran Laurie (who was apparently modest enough about it that Hugh Laurie didn't even know his dad had an Olympic gold medal in rowing until they went fishing ... his dad took the oars and Hugh asked his mom if his dad knew what he was doing. ...She said yes.)
Favorite Bookcases (Dragon Lady)
(This list is hard because I have these competing interests of artistic and functional, and sometimes they're both but I need capacity too. argh. So it isn't a conclusive list, but I love them all. Also, sorry they're all links instead of images, I'm having IT problems and I'm out of time...)
1. This one. THE criss-cross one!
2. This one, with the exposed brick. (I'm considering that part of the design, and also I like the capacity of this one.)
3. This one, a heartbeat!
4. This one, art!
5. This one, #4! It's like the ultimate "built in!"
Favorite Things about College (Auto Surf)
1. Roommates and the community of so many close friends living so nearby.
2. The Harold B. Lee Library and the attending subscriptions to scholarly journals.
3. The classes and professors! I sound like a super nerd, and I definitely didn't appreciate this when I was in college, but there is just a wealth of information at your fingertips at any given moment and it's really spectacular. Like, I took a ton of ballroom and ASL and those kinds of classes just for fun.
4. The creative environment.
5. The plethora of concerts and college arts productions, and all for good prices.
Favorite Things about Not Being in College (Auto Surf)
1. No homework, OBVIOUSLY.
2. My schedule is kind of still not my own now that I stay home with little kids, but it's a lot more flexible day to day than when you have tests and classes and things you really cannot miss.
3. I can afford real groceries! With vegetables and everything!
4. I have control over my whole living space now (I mean, obviously children exert their own kind of control, but it's not like where you have to put your initials on all your food.)
5. I keep coming back to the homework and all the pressure of being in school, but rather than repeat myself, I'll take a cop-out answer here that's very specific to my experience and say, boy, do I love living in a place with no real winter now that I am not in Utah anymore.
Favorite Funny Moments with Your Family (Uffish Thought)
(I chose to pull these from stories with the family I grew up in. Also not a conclusive list but still favorites.)
1. The first time my sibling suggested we egg our own house and my parents agreed. (Hard boiled eggs, but still, it's now a family tradition.)
2. The time I won an Ugliest Cake Contest and we dropped the cake off to the judges (it smelled awful and was already growing mold) and then went to see it after the judging and there was even more mold!
3. The time my brother and I were in a time out outside in our backyard, and we weren't allowed to talk to each other. My glasses were far away from me but next to him, and I wanted them, so I was trying to communicate this to my brother by arranging blades of grass into letters and words on the patio. It did not work. Also, when my brother and I got sent to time-out for fighting - we could come out when we were friends again. I wanted out, but he was still too mad to make up, so I would always try to make him laugh. It always worked but he was always fighting this dangerous line between scowling purposefully at me and trying SO HARD not to laugh, and it was hilarious.
4. When my littlest sister used to jump and land sitting on the floor in her diaper, over and over and over, because she got such a great reaction every time.
5. When the lifeguards kicked my mom out of the neighborhood pool for roughhousing (she is a very good dunker), or when my dad is about to make a joke and his tell is that he flares his nostrils first.
Yesssss this was awesome.